


We Write Letters

by moretroublethanthot, whatidealreality



Series: The MentHive Files [1]
Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy, Voyná i mir | War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace (TV 2016)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, F/F, F/M, Familial Abuse, M/M, Multi, Physical Abuse, Suicide TW as of chapter 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-03-17 09:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 60,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13655961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moretroublethanthot/pseuds/moretroublethanthot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatidealreality/pseuds/whatidealreality
Summary: Teddy 'AGhostOrRather' is a published author of horror fiction. Anatole is blown away by the work, and begins to develop inspiration from the stories for his work. Especially when it's announced one of the stories is getting developed into a web series, right in Moscow. It would help, probably, if Anatole could figure out why he's also drawn to Andrey's friend Fedya.





	1. Chapter One

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Holy shit, guys. Holy shit. 20K? That’s insane. Twenty thousand of you all following my dumb ass. I’m assuming the… about twenty of you who aren’t porn bots who followed me in the last twenty minutes followed me because of the update to my story, which I  _ GUESS _ is  _ TRENDING _ ? (Whaaaaaaat). 

So if all y’all came around because of that, then you’ll know that I’m writing four stories, posting two onto this hellhole of a website. I post weekly updates, usually a chapter a week. Bitching at me in my inbox will not get the chapters written quicker.  **_EMMY_ ** updates Mondays,  **_LAST READ AT_ ** updates Thursdays, usually around 7 MSK (UTC+3) [That’s around 11am for those of you in EST]. 

To those of you who have been around for a while, I have some good fucking news. My good buddy Andrey @StriveForGreatness has asked to make a web series based on  **_EMMY_ ** , and he’s been given the green light! So coming this summer, a web series we’ve lovingly titled ‘Haze Is Back At His Shit’  (working title) will be coming out! Keep an eye out for that, and follow Andrey for updates and behind the scenes! There will be an open casting call, but bear in mind that it will be English-languaged but filmed in Moscow over the coming months so if you’re not fluent in both, I would suggest brushing up on the language or not auditioning. You’re always welcome to try!

A quick about me, since I know the link in my bio is currently. Teddy, 17 years old, born and raised in Moscow, Russia. My stories are always posted in three languages (Russian, English, French), but I’m always open to other people’s translations! So long as credit is given where credit is due, podcasts, translations, artwork, scripts, etc. are welcome. 

Send me asks, I’m always here to chat! Trolls will be blocked.  Otherwise, I always answer. And anyone who knows the coffee anon, please let me know they’re okay, I haven’t heard from them in a while. 

~Teddy

_ #emmy, #last read at, #teddy posts, #teddy kinda rambles, #aghostorrather, #i know some of you track my URL for some reason, #teddy updates _

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut followed you_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented on your post:_ ** holy. Motherfucking. Shit. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented on your post:_ ** dude how are u real

**_AndTheLightsWentOut liked 143 posts_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut reblogged 143 posts_ **

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut made a photo post:_ **

hey guys long time no post! here’s a sketch dump inspired by  **_@AGhostOrRather_ ** and his fucking incredible writing, and there’s definitely gonna be more to come. 

_ #thank u to everyone for ur messages of concern I’m doing better now, #highschool y’know?, #emmy, #last read at, #artists on menthive, #myart  _

 

**_AGhostOrRather reblogged a photo post_ **

Well. Holy Shit. I always reach out to new artists, but Jesus fucking Christ, this kid is good. Scrolled through their blog to just check things out, ‘cause, you know how I am, no TERFs, no SWERFs, etc. If you scroll back far enough, you can find a single sketch from after I first got big on here and EVERYONE was drawing Max. Everyone. 

You all remember this, right? All of the sudden, everything was coming up Teddy. Or, Max, rather. And everyone decided to forget he was fat. All of the copies of my work were going around without any credit, and everyone was loving it without crediting me (hahahahahahaha totally still not salty). 

This artist made sure that Max was fat. And drawn fat  _ well _ too. Not just the dumbass ‘Add a belly or make them slightly larger,’ but did a genuinely good study of Max’s body, and let’s just say I think I’ve found a new favorite artist. Kudos, and much love. 

~Teddy

_ #last read at, #emmy, #art tag, #fan art tag, #emmy art tag, #teddy rambles, #teddy posts, #andthelightswentout _

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** khhhmhmmgmgmvnnnbnvnvnvmmvmvmvm????????? 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** either I’m having a stroke or my sibling slipped something into my tea or I died what the fuuuuuuuck is this???? real life???????

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** hhhhhhhdhfhfh oh my god I’m so?!

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut sent a post to AGhostOrRather:_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hey man just making sure you reblogged the right photo post because hhfhfhfhf holy fuck I think I’ve died 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Well, I’d certainly hope so, considering I just spent an hour writing that message I added on. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** okay yeah, fair

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but jesus, thank you for taking the time to write that and for your compliments and??? I’m not at all good with words but I’m honest to god flustered in class rn. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Oh, no, God, don’t be, please. Your bio said you’re the same age as me, so God, please don’t be. I’m just trying to help out other people. :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Noah fence but shut the Fuck?? you’re talented and i admire u as one artist to another

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im flustered. In class. and there’s NOTHING u can do about it :))))

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Well, damn. You’re right.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh, I know lmao

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** But, no, I was being honest and genuine. Seeing Max drawn properly, especially way back then, means so damn much to me. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i have a friend who goes to both of my schools with me who looks a lot like how I imagine max, and he’s the one who introduced me to your work. I asked him if I could use the studies I’d done of him as references for my design for max and 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** He was so fucking happy, dude he started crying 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** max means a lot to him and that means a lot to me :) 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m so glad. I do my best to represent everyone and there’s a distinct lack of characters in today’s pop culture that really reflect how people look, beyond the skinny/muscular/lean characters, or the disabled/fat people used for jokes and punchlines. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** __ I’m, ah, rambling. Sorry about that. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i think it’s p clear I’m in love with your words, don’t worry about it :) 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but yeah, you’re doing fantastic things for people 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Thank you. :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** no problem, ghost :) 

 

**_AGhostOrRather followed AndTheLightsWentOut_ **

**_AGhostOrRather reblogged 2 photo posts_ **

**_AGhostOrRather reblogged 37 text posts_ **

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** dude

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** did you just

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** rb 37 memes about your own work from me?? oh my god

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Don’t judge me, I’m stuck in American Lit right now and my only entertainment is out sick.

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut posted an photo post [a cropped screenshot of the notifications]_ ** i hope u all know that we are stanning a nerd and I’d also like all of u to know I don’t mind in the least :’) 

_ #we are teddy stand first and humans second kdkfngngn, #he followed me tho and I almost shit myself ngl, #emmy, #last read at _

 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Alright, alright, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Not an update from a story, no, but an official, Official™ announcement! But rather than my do it, I’ll let my lovely dear friend, and now colleague, deliver it to you. Andrey, if you will?

~Teddy

**_StriveForGreatness:_ **

Well, well, I’m being allowed to comment on a Teddy post without being blocked, I’m feeling honored :’). All that aside, step right up, one and all, to the auditions for Emmy: A Web Series. It will have a better title, but that one is better than ‘Haze Is Back At His Shit Again,’ which is what the rough draft to the first episode was titled. 

Auditions will be this weekend in Moscow, Russia. If you want to join the cast, email me at abolkonsky@email.rus and I’ll get back to you with the information that you’re going to need. There will be an expectation, if you audition, for you to show up to your audition with the lines for your scenes memorized, as well as bring a tentative schedule of availability for the next six months. We’re looking to cast 5 roles currently (the roles of Emmy and Max have both been cast, however Andi, Jake, Renee, Dani, Haze, and extras are all open). 

You WILL NOT meet Teddy at the auditions. If you are further involved with the web series, there is a chance, yes, that you will meet him, but he will not be at the auditions. 

Thanks, you nasty motherfuckers, and break a leg to those of you who are auditioning. 

Signing off the same way Teddy does because he isn’t special,

~Andrey

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Thanks, Andrey, for getting the message out! Again, I will not be at the auditions, but I will be involved with the process later on, and almost undoubtedly in person, as well as in contact with those cast through email or text messages 

Quick descriptions for each characters, since Andrey himself didn’t provide them:

Andi: Late teens (17-19), shorter, preferably someone with dance background. Race unspecified. 

Jake: Person of color. Late teens (17-19). Must have athletic/body-building background. Martial arts background not necessary but useful. 

Renee: Person of color. Mid-teens (15-17). Must be capable of wide variety of acting techniques and skills.

Dani: Person of color. Mid-teens (15-17). Athletic background.

Haze: Late teens, early 20’s. Will be seen on-screen rather than just behind the scenes. Track background not necessary but useful. 

Break a leg, everyone!

~Teddy

_ #emmy, #y’all don’t know how fucking HYPED I am for this show, #andrey bolkonsky here to kick my ass, #Bolkonsky Films, #casting call, #open casting call, #POCS WILL STAY POCS, #Also Max is fat and I’m happy _

  
  


**_[AndTheLightsWentOut sent a message to StriveForGreatness]_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Andrey Nikolayevich Bolkonsky EXPLAIN YOUR ENTIRE SELF

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Well, see, for some reason, my mom really liked my dad, and that led to sex, which ew, gross image, and seventeen years later, here I am.  

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i hate u so much 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you know what the fuck I mean!!! 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I have no idea, actually. What the fuck do you mean?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut sent a post_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you’re on the creative team for Emmy and what the FUCK? 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oh shit yeah lol, I’m directing and exec producing. And co-writing, I think Teddy’s insisting on that too.  ****

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** YOU DIDNT THINK TO MENTION THAT AT ANY POINT WHEN I WAS RANTING ABOUT IT DURING THE PAST WEEK?!

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** In my defense, I’ve been very caught up on finishing the draft and getting auditions set up, considering we have a main cast of 7, and we only have 2 cast.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And I still had to pass it by Mikhaelovna to get the OK to do it for MPA. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** I was talking 2 ur face and u told me you’d “have to look into it, seems neat” fucking!!! i hate u!!!!!!!!

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** In all honesty, 10/10 probably wasn’t listening. I kinda tune you out most of the time, tbh. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** this is why we don’t fuck anymore ://////

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** No, we don’t fuck anymore because your brother is hotter than you. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** okay I will admit that I agree to that but ALSO you’re awful and if u hurt him in any way ill step on ur throat :))) 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Can’t hurt him if I don’t talk to him :))))))))))))))))))))))))

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Anyways. You gonna come to auditions this weekend?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ehhhh

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ipp is going for andi and I’m his human support animal so yes I will be there 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** He’ll be running a chemistry test with Pierre hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im going to be laughing as you pop a boner as soon as they do much as make eye contact u filthy fucking mess 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Teddy’s insistence that Pierre play Max is gonna be the death of me. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_** wait wait wait hold on

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i used Pierre as my reference for max and ghost fucking commented on That Pic specifically jfkfkkgfkgkkfkfkrlrlelrl

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** excuse me while I have a crisis over a boy I don’t know 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh wait, you’re already having one over my brother ;))))

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Fuck off Tolya :)))))

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** But, yeah, no, Teddy insisted on Pierre, and you know Sonya Rostova? She’s Emmy. That’s all we got so far. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i vaguely know her I think. she’s the one making eyes at ur sister, right? 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** We don’t talk about that 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Natasha’s cousin? She’s a ginger. Fucking awful brat of a girl. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** let me guess, she sucks your dick every once in a while

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Not recently. She’s, like, 99% a lesbian. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** so that’s a yes 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** if ipp gets in and I see teddy in person I’m gonna fucking die andrey im going to Die and I’m going to be DEAD

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** RIP Anatole. His ass was nice while I had it. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** if you don’t say that at my funeral I’m going to come back and expose every embarrassing sex story I have about you 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Nah. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And I’m being summoned to make dinner for the three roomies. Catch ya later, Tolya. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** see u tomorrow asshole <3


	2. Chapter Two

“Andrey, it is your turn to do dinner things.” Pierre’s tone was casual as he threw a pencil at his boyfriend from across the room, his legs tucked up on the sofa in their shared bedroom. “And do it before Fedya comes all hangry at us again, ‘cause last time he threatened my beard and I cried.”

Andrey rolled his eyes, tapping out a goodbye to Anatole and shutting his computer. “As you wish. He had a point though,” he said, pushing his chair back and making his way towards the door. “It’s getting a little long.” Pierre grimaced. 

“Yeah, but I need  _ some _ of it for the show, you know that.” He said, almost a whine, trailing after Andrey. “And plug your phone in before it dies. Fedya said ‘Max has a bit of a beard,’ and so it’s staying this long until we start filming and Fedya decides how long he wants me to keep it. You may be the director, but I’m listening to our son on this one.” 

“Pierre,” Andrey snorted pausing to tug on Pierre’s beard affectionately. “He doesn’t need it down to your damn nipples. Stop being lazy and give yourself a trim.” He presses a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips before leaving him for the kitchen.

“Let me be a lumberjack in peace!” Pierre whined, leaning against the doorpost with a hint of a smile creeping onto his face, swatting nearly a minute late at Andrey’s hands. “And I’ll be lazy all I want, fuck you.”

Andrey laughed, shooting an amused look in his direction. “You look less like a lumberjack and more like you’re protesting the beard tax a few decades too late.” He ribbed as he switched on the stove and began slicing vegetables.

“You, sir, are a dick, and I’m actually protesting the amount added to women’s razors.” Pierre deadpanned, shifting out of the way to let Mary into the kitchen. “Isn’t that right, Mash? Fucking awful how women have to pay more for razors. I’m just not going to shave until that’s changed.”

Mary shot him a bemused look. “I don’t think you’d be doing anyone a favor.” She said, grinning when Andrey let out a bark of laughter. 

“See, Bezukhov? You’re outvoted.” He said. Pierre smiled innocently at Andrey as he flipped Mary off when Andrey wasn’t looking, blowing his boyfriend a kiss when he did look. 

“Then tie me down and shave me, Bolkonsky.”

“Keep us out of your kinky affairs.” Fedya slipped past Pierre to steal a baby carrot from the cutting board Andrey was working on. “What’s for dinner?”

“That stir fry that Masha likes.” Andrey said, swatting at Fedya. “And Masha and I are going to shave Pierre ourselves if he doesn’t, you in?”

“You all have fun.” Fedya looked at Pierre with a look of pure disgust on his face. Pierre hid a grin. “Sonya called, by the way, Andryushka, she wants to know if she has to be there this weekend.” He stole another carrot off of the board and popped it into his mouth before grabbing a glass for himself, pouring a cup of juice.

“If I have to be there, so does she.” Pierre pouted slightly. “Doesn’t she need to run chemistry with whoever auditions for Jake?”

“I mean, like, theoretically.” Fedya shrugged. “I’m considerably more confident in her acting skills than yours, Pyotr.”

“Fucking slam him, Fyodor.” Mary said, smiling and bumping her hip into his. “And I’d like to get to see her outside of school more. Could she, Andrei?” 

Andrei have them all a withering look before tipping the ingredients into the frying pan. “Yes, fuck’s sake. You both have to be there. Also, Fedya. Two Kuragins are coming.”  

“I care why?” Fedya said, only barely managing to catch the juice as he put it back in the fridge, covering his blunder. Pierre hid a grin. Mary giggled.

“So what you’re saying is that Mary and I should be there so that you and Fedya can properly communicate, since you lose the ability to talk when Ippolit is around, and Fedya just turns into a tomato whenever Anatole Kuragin so much as glances at him.”

“Fuck off,” Fedya and Andrey chimed in unison. 

“I communicate perfectly, and I didn’t even say that it was Anatole that was coming. I could have said Elena.”Andrei tried to deflect, cheeks pink.

“And Fedya can manage fine around Elena, and I know Marya has her busy this weekend for cheer shit.” Pierre countered smoothly, a smirk spreading on his face. “And I know Ippolit was gonna audition because he reposted the casting call with a ‘Holy shit I’m auditioning’ comment.”

“Who’s he auditioning for?” Fedya mused, clambering, with difficulty, onto a stool. 

“Anatole said that he wants Andi.” Andrei said quickly, stirring the food in the pan a bit more aggressively than he needed to. 

“Did you tell him that he didn’t need to audition, ‘cause you’d give him anything he wanted anyway?” Mary asked innocently, grinning at Pierre. 

“And risk losing my chemistry test on screen?” Pierre batted his eyelashes. “Absolutely not. Andrey’s gotta make him kiss me on camera now, you know he’ll be jerking off to that forever.”

“NOT with the child in the room!” Fedya’s head shot up and he stared at Pierre with wide eyes. “There is a child in this room, and  _ I _ don’t want to hear about his sex life!”

“I’m not even a year younger than you, you baby.” Mary shoved him a little, hopping onto a stool next to Fedya. 

“I was talking about myself that entire time.” Fedya turned to look at her, giving her a slight grin. Mary scoffed and rolled her eyes, but grinned back.

“I hate all of you so very, very much.” Andrei said, his blush having spread to the back of his neck. “Can we go back to teasing Fedya about his constant hard on for Anatole?”  Fedya whined in protest. Mary snickered.

“Yeah, speaking of.” Pierre said, turning his attention back to the two on the stools. “Can we talk about the hypothetical boner Mary has for Sonya?”

“No we cannot!” Andrey said, at the same time that Mary said, “yes please!”

Mary stared down the back of her brother’s head and continued, “I would very much like to play Jake so that I can kiss her on screen.” She said, and Andrei made a choked noise. Fedya bit back a giggle 

“Masha, please…” He have her a forlorn look.

“Aw, my poor baby.” Pierre said condescendingly, crossing the room to kiss Andrey gently. “I know it’s scary, little Masha growing up, but you need to move the fuck on. She wears bras now.”

“Could’ve fooled me” Fedya muttered under his breath.

Mary smacked him upside the head, but grinned. “I wear bras and I’m not afraid to admit that I have a crush on Sonya. See? I’m a big girl now, Andryusha.” 

“So big.” Fedya echoed, ducking to avoid getting hit again. “Daaaaaad, Masha’s being meeeeeeean.”

“Stop being mean.” Pierre said blandly, gently patting Andrey’s back as he hugged his boyfriend, letting him be melodramatic in peace. 

“No,” Mary said benignly as she placed a well-aimed kick to Fedya’s shin. “Andrey, I can be your wing woman.” She offered sweetly, completely serious. 

Andrey looked at her with a mix of affection and exasperation. “Thanks Mash, but I’ll pass.”

“Is dinner ready yet?” Fedya said loudly, scooting his stool as physically away from Mary he could without losing the counter he was using as his table. Pierre hid a laugh in Andrey’s shoulder. 

“Yes, thank God.” Andrei said, depositing the contents of the pan into a serving dish. “Pyotr, grab dishes and silverware please.” He said as he carried the food to the table. “Kids get off of the stools and come sit at the table like civilized humans.” Pierre opened the cabinets and grabbed plates, passing them to Mary to carry to the table, before grabbing silverware. He let Fedya grab glasses for all of them and together, they neatly set the table, before settling into their usual spots, Andrey at the head of the table playing father like they all let him. 

“Masha, gonna say grace for us?” Fedya looked at her before moving to eat, giving her a warm smile. He’d been the one to suggest she continue to do it, even after they all moved in together and started eating at different hours Family dinner was a requirement.

Mary gave a small smile and a nod, bowing her head and saying the prayer softly. When she was done, she smiled up at all of them as she usually did. “So as I was saying about Sonya.” She said with a grin as Andrei groaned. “I’m just kidding! I won’t torment you anymore with that. But Fedya, I didn’t know you had a thing for Anatole.” She said, turning her sweet brown eyes on Fedya. 

Fedya smiled at her through gritted teeth before shoving half his plate of food into his mouth. “Ahdi’noh’u’wa’t’d’t’noh.” Fedya said clearly through the food. 

“I hope you choke and die.” Pierre said pleasantly, serving Andrey before serving himself. Mary choked on her mouthful of water, swallowing with difficulty as she laughed. Andrei rolled his eyes. 

“Chew and swallow before you speak, Christ Fedya were you raised in a barn?” He said, grinning. “And please repeat what you said, I don’t think anyone at the table understood you.” He said sweetly, sharing a wry smile with his sister. Pierre hid a grin himself, pausing to get up from the table to pour himself and Andrey lemonade, pausing after a moment to grab a napkin for Mary, a gentle kiss given to the top of her head as he handed her her glass back before sitting down. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to know.” Fedya repeated after swallowing, flicking a piece of rice across the table at Andrey. “And fuck you, dad, I do what I want.”

Mary jabbed him with her elbow, ducking away from the return blow. “Of  _ course _ we want to know! You just don’t want to tell us because you’re shyyyy.” She said, teasing.

“I don’t want to tell you because you’re like this.”Fedya deadpanned, turning his head as he kicked out to hit her lightly in the shin. “Like, all girly, and shit. Stop it, it’s weird.” 

Mary puffed her chest out, faking a deeper voice. “How about when I’m like this?” She said, before dissolving into giggles. Andrei smiled fondly at his sister, too caught up in how happy she looked to insert some snide comment. 

“Sure, Mash.” Fedya said dryly, setting his fork aside to finish eating with his fingers, flipping Pierre off when Pierre reached across the table to try and take the plate away from him. 

“I’m beginning to think you were not only born in a barn, but raised in one as well.” Pierre grumbled, narrowly avoiding being kicked himself. Andrey grinned, raising an eyebrow at Fedya but otherwise saying nothing. 

“Isn’t Anatole like, an asshole? I thought you avoided that crowd?” Mary asked, curious, not letting the subject pass. Andrey made a soft noise, but again, didn’t interject.

“Ask your brother, he’s talked to him more. Or maybe not.” Fedya abruptly stood up and walked out of the room, the only sound being his dropping his plate none-too-gently into the sink before retreating upstairs. 

“You shouldn’t poke at him so much.” Pierre said softly, his eyes on his boyfriend. Mary looked after him, eyes wide. 

“Andrey…?” She asked, looking at her brother as well. Andrey gave a long suffering sigh, passing a hand over his face. “I- didn’t mean to do that.” 

“I know, Masha. I didn’t either.” He said tiredly. “You know how melodramatic he can be.” He stood, starting to collect the plates. “Pierre, you’re turn to do the dishes, Masha, don’t sweat it, okay? I’m going to go check in him.” He pressed a kiss to his sister’s forehead as he passed, smiling. 

“Okay.” She said, smiling back. “You’ll tell him that I’m sorry?” She asked.

“I will.” Andrei passed the plates to Pierre, and made his way to Fedya’s room, leaning against the doorframe. He knocked on the wall by way of announcing himself. “What’s got you all flustered, huh?”

“Nothing.” Fedya muttered in reply, not raising his face from where it was buried in one of his pillows. “Nothing’s the matter, nothing, fuck off.”

“Oh fuck off with that.” Andrey dropped into the chair of Fedya’s desk, crossing his arms. “You’re never like that with Mary. Come on, dumbass, out with it.”

Fedya shook his head, still not raising it from the pillow before he very slowly rolled over to look at Andrey, shifting to sit up and pull his knees to his chest. “I’m just. Stressed. About this fucking show. And I’ve hit a fucking block with the story and I don’t know where to go with it, and I’m barely managing to work on the other two I haven’t even posted yet, and I’m falling behind in my classes, and, and I just, I don’t, Andrey, I don’t know.”

“You know you don’t have to worry about the webseries yet, Fedya. And you already have a hell of a lot of work done for the two you haven’t posted yet.” He met Fedya’s eyes and deflated, putting his hands up. “I’m not telling you to stop working on them. The point I’m trying to make is that you know that you psych yourself out like this all the time and you need to take a step back and regroup. Talk to some artists, look at fan art. Refuel.” He gave a small smile. “No one is expecting you to be superhuman. I’ll keep teasing your fans. I know how to keep them entertained.”

Fedya let out a soft groan and rubbed at his eyes, dropping back down on his bed, laying still for about a minute before an alarm on his phone went off and he groaned, pulling himself back up. He turned the alarm off and grabbed a pill bottle off of his windowsill, popping one into his mouth and reaching for his glass, swallowing before he dropped back down onto his bed. “Yeah.” He said finally. 

“And Anatole set all of this off?” Andrey asked carefully, trying to prod a smile out of him. “Masha says she’s sorry, by the way.”

“I don’t have time for him.” Fedya said, more to himself than Andrey, as a response to the name, before he sniffled a little, rubbing at his nose. “I think I’m catching a cold.”

“Another sign that you need to rest.” Andrey said, raising an eyebrow. “What I mean is, you barely have boy troubles. As far as you know he’s the complete douche that he says he is. Not having time implied you’ve given this thought.” He said knowingly, then grimaced. “Christ, I sound like a dad.”

“Okay, Dad.” Fedya said at the same time, sitting up a bit and shaking his head again. “You’re right. I don’t have time. I need to focus on school, and- and the show. ‘Specially since we actually have Sonya, I was kinda hoping she’d say no. Love her to death, but I’m not entirely sure she can pretend to be physically attracted to you. All offense meant.”

Andrey let him derail, but tucked Fedya’s avoidance of the subject away for later. “She’s sucked my dick like ten times in the past year for a return favor, I think she’s fine, you toddler.”

“What.” Fedya just stared blankly at Andrey. He rubbed at his eyes. “Nope, never mind, don’t want to know. Nope. Just- nope.” Andrey snorted, stretching his arms behind his head. 

“Gay friends with benefits.” He said simply, before getting up, reaching over to tousle Fedya’s hair. “Get some sleep, kid. Oh- and-” he paused in the doorway, turning to grin smugly at Fedya. “I know your new artist friend from Menthive in real life.” And with that, he left. 

“Wait, what the fuck?!” Fedya darted towards the door, stopping when it shut behind Andrey. “You motherfucker!” Fedya gave up there, though, and dropped back onto his bed. After a slight hesitation, he reached for his laptop and began to type. 


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AGhostOrRather - Teddy  
> AndTheLightsWentOut - Alyosha  
> StriveForGreatness - Andrey  
> OhDearGodImAFuckingMess - Pierre  
> BlowsOnAPinwheelGently - Marya  
> HowWillYouGrieveForMe - Mary  
> IWillFinallyStopRunning - Sonya  
> InflictYourMindOnMine - Ippolit  
> CrinklecutSkin - Natasha  
> FragileAndEphemeral - Elena

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Hey, guys, gals, and enby pals, some bad news this time around. Until the web series is properly cast and filming begins, I’m going on a bit of a writing hiatus. Emmy and Last Read At won’t be updated until I’m all caught up on my schoolwork since that comes first.

That being said, if this gets, oh, let’s go for 10K reblogs in the next, say, 48 hours, then I’ll begin to upload one of the other stories I’ve been working on for a while. That one will mostly be a chapter every two days until I’m able to properly focus back on Emmy and Last Read At.

I’m really sorry for this, I am, but this is something I have to do for my own sake.

~Teddy

_#emmy, #last read at, #aghostorrather, #hiatus, #teddy speaks_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented on a post:_ ** that takes a lot to realize that you have to take a break, and i’m happy that you’re putting yourself first, man :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** that being said I’m going to make sure this post gets to the aforementioned amount of rb’s if I have to get it there myself ;))

**_AndTheLightsWentOut reblogged a post:_ **

you all better make this happen!!!

**_AndTheLightsWentOut reblogged a post_ **

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

 Kudos for taking a break when you need it. Schoolwork comes first! If you don’t get all A’s (or whatever the grading system is in Russia), I’ll drive there to kick your ass myself. -The newly named Mother Anon

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Aw, Mother Anon, thanks so much. We grade on a 1-5 scale, btw, and I’ve got all 4’s in my classes (think low A’s, high B’s) in most of my classes, but I’m taking like 4 extra classes because I’m an overachieving bastard.  
Also, if you’re living anywhere except Europe or possibly Asia, I’m not sure you can drive to kick my ass, but I’m pretty sure I could afford a plane ticket, please come kick me.

~Teddy

_#anonymous, #mother anon, #answered, #teddy answers_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut sent a post_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** with all due respect [which is a lot of due respect] how the shitting hell do you take four extra classes and have all 4’s I fucking.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** who did u sell ur soul to and how the fuck do you have time to eat sleep and piss. im,,,, wow??

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Marya Dmitrievna.

**_AGhostOrRather:_** Sorry, inside joke with friends, I didn’t see who sent this.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I spend a lot of time in classes doing homework for other classes.

**_AGhostOrRather:_** I missed a full semester of school a few years back and I’m still trying to catch up.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** lmao it’s all good

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** that’s still so fucking cool. You’re truly incredible

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Aw, nah, I’m really not.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m just a semi-functioning teenager.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** we’re the same age and I think that regardless of whatever you’ve got going on you deserve recognition for being this much of a badass.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Jesus, thanks, I think, nameless artist I still can’t track down the name of despite having multiple mutuals that we share.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh fuck!!

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** sorry about that :) I forgot that I don’t leave my name in my bio

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you can call me alyosha :)

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Alyosha. A Russian name. :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** yyyyyyes?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** teddy is an American name?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Yeeeeeah, I gave up trying to tell people how to pronounce ‘Fyodor.’

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hah! that’s fair. do you mind if i drop the American version and switch to Fedya?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Uh. Sure. Sure, that works, yeah.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** cool :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** tell Andrey that I said that he’s a little bitch :’)  <3

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** He is a little bitch.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** You know Andrey?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Dryusha’s a good guy. And a little bitch. But a good guy.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** lmao yeah, I know him. Not really well but like, casual friends?? but yeah, he’s a little bitch, and i just texted him that same thing.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m closer with his boyfriend. Pierre?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ohkgjggk CHRIST

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Yeah, I know pyotr

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** we have an interesting relationship :’))))

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** in that we went from him throwing me across a room literally, to him giving me chocolates every time he sees me like he’s my fucking grandma

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** That’s Pierre in a nutshell.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** He gave me my first shot like a month ago and called me a pussy for not wanting another.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** the first time I got drunk around Pierre he held my lightweight ass in his lap and fawned over me. Someone has a video, hrjfjjgjgjgjg don’t ask around for it

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** No worries, I respect a person’s privacy. But yeah, I’m closest with Pierre. I had class with him way back when and we just kinda clicked with each other.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** He’s gonna be in the show. Max. He’s one of the two we have definitely cast.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** funny story he’s the one I used as a reference for Max in that one pic lol

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Honestly that doesn’t surprise me.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** The entirety of the character of Max is based on him.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** And Emmy is based on the actress who’s playing her. The two who we have cast.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Kinda scared to see how this goes.

**_AGhostOraRther:_ ** Hear it here first! Fyodor is fucking terrified of this show.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im assuming you know that Andrey is great at what he does, and that what you're terrified of is the friend aspect

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** also, not auditioning for myself, but is anyone being considered for andi already? i have a friend who’s interested

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** There’s someone who, if they audition, are probably going to get it. We’re pretty sure they’re coming, but not positive.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ight, thank you! ill let him know :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** he’s reading over my shoulder right now and breathing down my neck even though he has his own Fucking Account

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Hello, friend of Alyosha’s.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Ah, shit, gotta go deal with my inbox. Every time I get to about ~300 asks, I get an email saying, ‘Answer your fucking messages you dweeb,’ and I’m trying to avoid staff yelling at me again.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** He says hello back and is very excited, and ight ghostie, go be a celebrity :)

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

God I’m so hype for your new works!!! But please take your time, you come before all this :) -coffee anon

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I have missed you, coffee anon, and worried greatly in your absence. And thanks so much for the kind words. <3 Y’all’s support means a lot to me.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #coffee anon, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

don’t worry about us!! more time to go back and reread and make art about it ya feel ;))))

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Thank you for the kind words :) I’m gonna come back stronger than ever, y’all know that.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

So when is Emmy gonna get updated then?

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

If you look at my last post, I’ll be announcing when Emmy will start updating again. Until then, you’ll have to make do with what’s already been posted. Hit me with fan theories, art work, anything you all want! I’m here and happy to promote anyone making artwork based on my shit.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess asked:_ **

Did you do the homework for French? Can I copy? Marya won’t let me.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I gotchu, gimme like 12 to finish answering these things and I’ll get it to you.

_#answered, #asks, #ohdeargodimafuckingmess, #dad 1.0’s tag, #personal_

 

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently asked:_ **

Make Pierre do his own homework.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I take it back, Pierre, I’m more scared of her.

_#answered, #asks, #blowsonapinwheelgently, #satan’s tag, #personal_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_  
** Take your time, Teddy! You should absolutely post that other story though. I’m so excited, which is it more like, LRA or Emmy?

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I’d say the new one is a bit of both, really. I’m gonna post the first chapter really soon, but if you all want and ask for it, I’ll post a summary ahead of time.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #emmy, #last read at, #jesse_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

When you get this, post 5 things that make you happy and then send it to 10 people. Can’t get out of it.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

 Ah shit, got me another one of these. 1. @HowWillYouGrieveForMe makes me happy. 2. All the asks about the stories. 3. All the asks after my well-being. 4. My chosen          family. 5. My sister, may she rest in peace.

Tagging all of my mutuals because y’all can just do this instead of my sending it.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #howwillyougrieveforme, #masha <3’s tag, #my angel’s tag, #tw death, #i guess? _

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe commented:_ ** I LOVE YOU BIG BRUDDER!!!!!<33333 :DDD

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Post a selfie.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

**_[attached picture of fanwork of haze]_ **

 Artwork by @IWillFinallyStopRunning.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #iwillfinallystoprunning, #satan 2.0’s tag, #haze artwork, #fanart, #emmy, #last read at, #me, #haze_

 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine asked:_ **

I know you said you won’t be at the auditions, but if there’s callbacks, will you be at those?

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

 I will probably not be involved much in the casting process, beyond confirming @StriveForGreatness’s choices. I trust him explicitly with Emmy, and believe that he can           make the choices without my help. That being said, I might be around. ;)

_#answered, #asks, #inflictyourmindonmine, #we’ve been mutuals for a while i think, #haven’t we, #emmy, #emmy web series_

 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning asked:_ **

Hey, dipshit, answer your text messages.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

No, you can’t make me.

_#answered, #asks, #iwillfinallystoprunning, #satan 2.0’s tag, #personal_

 

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe asked:_ **

hi here’s a daily reminder that I love you!!❤️

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I love you too!

_#answered, #asks, #howwillyougrieveforme, #masha <3’s tag, #personal _

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

let Emmy be okay 2kforvever!!

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

No!

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #emmy, #emmy spoilers, #last read at,_

 

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe asked:_ **

aaaansweeeerrrrr my teeeeeeexts :(((

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Absolutely not.

_#answered, #asks, #howwillyougrieveforme, #masha <3’s tag, #i just answered your text boo bear _

 

**_CrinkleCutSkin asked:_ **

You should do an art contest while you’re not posting for Emmy or LRA.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

 You know what? You right, you right. Check tomorrow for that.

_#answered, #asks, #crinklecutskin, #you’re also a mutual, #art tag, #fan art, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

do u ever read the fanfics written about your stuff? not saying that u should or that u have to or anything! but it’s 4:00 am where I am and i can’t stop thinking abt this

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Haze came outta nowhere and killed them for asking me to read fanfiction about my own work.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #fanfiction mention, #death mention, #link me to good fanfics i like reading them, #and your all’s ideas, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

 do you ever read fan theories about what’s goin on w emmy? Cause there was this 1 fuckin good one that i can link to u if u want (if it wont, like, affect the outcome or           shit)

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

 Same thing as with fanfiction. Link me to them and I’ll take a look at them. If I find particularly good ideas or stories, I absolutely will promote them.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #fan theory mention, #emmy, #last read at_

 

**_FragileAndEphemeral asked:_ **

Hate to be the only one not actually saying good things, but your post hit 10K and it’s been 3 hours. Post that bitch.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

_#answered, #asks, #fragileandephemeral, #jesse, #i don’t function well under pressure_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

max has the biggest dick. Pls confirm I’m being attacked

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I’m sorry, what?

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #nsfw i think, #why is this a matter of debate?_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

hi this is the brother of fragileandephemeral here to say that they’re an ass and there’s no pressure

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Well, thank ye kindly, brother of @FragileAndEphemeral.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #fragileandephemeral_

 

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe asked:_ **

this is for all of your followers pls tell them that I love and appreciate them and that they should get some sleep if it’s late where they are :) <3

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

You all heard the woman.

_#answered, #asks, #howwillyourgrieveforme, #masha <3’s tag, #for the followers _

 

**_StriveForGreatness asked:_ **

Masha, go to bed. Sorry to use you as the in-between, Teddy. <3

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

You heard Daddy-o, Mash, @HowWillYouGrieveForMe.

_#answered, #asks, #striveforgreatness, #howwillyougrieveforme, #why am i caught in this?_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Why the fuck does everyone act like max and andi are a thing? Is’nt max like 4 years older than him? Like that’s fucking disgusting, and also like? Straight people exist?        Stop making everything gay? Like fuck off with that faggoty shit.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Hey, dude? You might be on the wrong blog to bitch about LGBTQ+ representation.

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #homophobia tw, #maybe pedophilia tw? #i’m not gonna tag their ship name because this is ridiculous, #yes i know the ship name_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

 Have you been involved in the discourse about the size of dicks of the characters because everyone’s arguing that max has a tiny dick and i need backup in this argument       that jake has the smallest dick.

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

I’M HOWLING

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #THIS IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD, #i haven’t been involved yet but good lord, #please involve me in this discourse, #let me lock my door so i don’t get murdered first, #dickcourse_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** i hate the fact that this anon was me and im the fucking blog that this discourse is happening on this is what I get for posting vague mandi nsfw

**_AGhostOrRather replied to AndTheLightsWentOut’s comment:_ ** What am I missing in the discourse of my own fandom?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i get the brunt of the weird nsfw anons you’re WELCOME for handling them

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** feel free to look through my ask tag :))))))) :))))) :) :)))))

 

**_AGhostOrRather reblogged 16 text posts_ **

 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Vagueing about this, but also not. _Emmy-_

Jake - 5

Max - 9

Andi - 5.9

Haze - is literally not human and doesn’t have a dick stop it.

_Last Read At-_

Ronnie - 6.5

Lionel - 7

Christopher - 6

Deety - do or don’t they have a dick? Doesn’t matter. They’re NB.

_#vagueing, #_ _dickcourse_ _, #emmy, #last read at, #why is this important, #why am i involving myself in this mess, #i am ready to die_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** what did I fucking tell y’all

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im honestly screaming so much tho im going to fucking pass out why did you look actually dude…… a sense of self preservation, mayhaps….,,.,,,,,,,

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** see if i direct this web series for you you bastard

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** @StriveForGreatness TRAGIC ALSO it’s okay I can back u up and say that ur packing heat dw your pretty little ego ;)

_**AGhostOrRather:**_ love u dryushenka  <3 <3

_**StriveForGreatness:**_ fuck you  @AGhostOrRather

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

You told off an anon earlier about bitching about LGBTQ+ representation and said it’s the wrong blog to bitch on. Explain?

  ** _AGhostOrRather answered:_**

Well. It starts very much with my chosen family, is a happy gay couple, one of their sister’s, who is a lesbian (I believe, don’t @ me, that was the label she was using              last), and me.

In case you haven’t caught on, I’m gay. Very gay. Well, bi. But it’s split pretty much with a 90% at men, 10% at women. Just how bisexuality works.

~Teddy

_#answered, #asks, #anonymous, #lgbtq+, #teddy comes out, #sort of, #i’ve been out for a while but i guess i never explicitly stated it here, #lgbtq+ safe space, #inclusionist, #if people want to be included, #they are a part of the community if they wish to be, #and fit under the umbrella of queer, #sorry for getting political_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** fuck everybody else, i respect YOU.

 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Welp. Think this is me signing off for the night. Good night, my fellow spoopy freaks.

~Teddy

_#teddy speaks, #spooky is racist, #tru story, #heard it in a song once_


	4. Chapter Four

“Anatole,  _ darling _ , if you scream in my ear one more time I can and will kill you.” Elya said, giving their younger brother a dangerous smile. Anatole stuck his tongue out at her and showed his phone screen to Ippolit, giggling. 

“I can’t fucking believe I got him involved dear  _ god _ !” He wheezed, collapsing into another fit of giggles. Ippolit gave Anatole a small smile, but shifted a little, curling closer towards his twin rather than closer to Anatole’s side. 

“Anatole, leave your brother be.” Marya had lounged, at some point in the last hour when none of the Kuragins were paying attention, on the bean bag in the twin’s shared room.

Anatole frowned at his brother and then at Marya, sliding off of the bed with a melodramatic ‘thud’. “No one’s paying attention to me!” He whined, falling backwards onto the carpet beneath him. 

“Yes, well, I think Ippolit’s having a bad night and relying on Elya at the moment.” Marya said patiently. “And so maybe you need to leave them be for a bit of time, yes?”

“That was directed at you. I know he’s having a bad night.” He snarked back, not lifting his head. “He’s funny and charming and smart and I’m having a crisis.” 

“Well, you’re welcome to talk at me, Toto.” Marya sighed a little, shifting on the beanbag chair to make room for Anatole. “C’mere, brat.” Her lips turned up in a fond smile as she spoke, though, patting the space next to her. “Keep me company while I do my homework.”

Anatole lifted his head to look at her, then rolled across the floor and flopped himself up next to Marya, still pouting. “I don’t know who he is and I didn’t even give my real name.” He mumbled, face buried in the squishy purple seat. Marya shifted a little more, running her fingers sympathetically through his hair as she wrote with her other hand. 

“The Menthive boy? The one who’s audition Ipp’s going to this weekend?” Ippolit made a soft noise at the sound of his name but didn’t lift his head from Elya’s lap. 

“Yes. Fyodor is his real name.” Anatole griped, waving a hand limply. “And he’s friends with Andrey and Pierre. Apparently. But I don’t know any Fyodors. Or I’m just clueless.” He paused, then turned his head to look up at Marya, eyes wide. “You know him. He mentioned your name.” 

“Everyone knows Marya.” Ippolit said softly from the bed, nuzzling Elya’s thigh in an attempt to get more attention from them, pouting up at them. “In Moscow. Everyone knows Mom.”

“He has a point.” Marya said dryly. “Pretty much everyone in Moscow knows who I am, you know how big cheer is here, and I’ve been captain for three years and led us to national championships every time.”

Anatole let out a long whine. “You know who he is. He said something about it being an in joke. C’mon, please help me?” He simpered, twisting his hands into her shirt. Elya presses a kiss to Ippolit’s head and raised an eyebrow at Marya.

“I don’t personally know any Fyodors, Toto.” Marya said quietly, scratching his head lightly with her fingernails. “And I don’t know if Andrey does, as I don’t spend much time around Bolkonsky anymore. More his boyfriend than him.” She hid a small smile. “And Pierre and I rarely discuss Bolkonsky.”

“Pierre knows him too, apparently.” Elya said, faking innocence as they watched Marya handle their brother. “Tolya says that Pierre is close with this Fyodor.”

“Don’t make fun, Elya.” Anatole snapped, shooting a glare at them. “But he is. He’s already cast as Max for the webseries.”

Marya raised her eyebrows delicately, as though pretending, for a second, that she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, what web series this was over, before she let out a soft noise. “Oh, Lito, darling, that’s perfect, you want to play the boyfriend, no?” Ippolit made a soft noise of agreement, muffled through cloth pressed against his face. 

“He’s probably going to have to kiss him during auditions.  _ Andrey’s _ gonna need to hide his boner.” Anatole said waspishly. Elya snorted, stifling a laugh. Ippolit smiled against Elya’s pant leg, nodding his head agreeably. 

“Alright with that, is he?” Marya snorted softly. “At least one of you has their lives together.” Ippolit whined audibly, turning his head only to peek out at her from behind a slitted eye. “I take that back, Ippolit’s impression of Lord Voldemort has convinced me otherwise.” Elya and Anatole laughed at that, giving Marya matching eyerolls. 

“Am I going to have to have a talk with a certain Bolkonsky?” Elya teased, petting Ippolit’s hair. 

“I already gave Andrey the shovel talk, Lenka dear, but feel free to add on.” Anatole said, and the two grinned. Ippolit let out a happy hum and shifted to stretch out on the bed, face still tucked against Elya’s thigh.

“I’ll castrate him if he hurts you, Lito, baby, don’t worry.” Marya all but cooed at the boy on the bed, mimicking Elya’s movements and petting Anatole’s hair, smiling warmly at the siblings. “El, are you auditioning?”

“Yeah, probably. Natasha Rostova probably is too, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. I’m not passing up that chance.” Elya said distractedly, writing something on her worksheet. Anatole made a noise of protest, but it was too delayed to be genuine. 

“Hands off. ‘S my girlfriend, Elya.” He muttered. 

“Like that fools anyone with two eyes and common sense.” Elya said, and Anatole grimaced. “I’m just saying, I don’t think she believes it either.”

“Shut up.” He snapped back, turning his face away. Marya leaned over and gently kissed his forehead. “Leave him be, Elya.” She said softly, switching to French. “Don’t push him out of the closet, let him take his time- Oh, hush, Anatole.” Marya switched back to Russian to soothe him gently. “Rest, darling.”

“‘M straight, you assholes. No closet.” He insisted, glaring up at Marya. 

“Alright, honey.” Marya said gently, scratching her fingers over his scalp lightly. “Alright, you’re straight, darling. We believe you.” Elya made a noise of disagreement and Anatole shot up, stalking out of the room wordlessly. 

“God fucking dammit, you dramatic bastard.” They muttered to themself, rolling their eyes without looking up. “Hush Lito, it’s okay. You know how he gets.” Ippolit made a soft noise and pulled away from Elya, looking forlornly at the door before looking back at Marya, and then Elya, before he pulled away, grabbing his stuffed animal. 

He walked to Anatole’s room and didn’t bother to knock, just walking in and curling up on his bed, closing his eyes and clutching the small stuffed Dementor to his chest. Anatole stopped his pacing and typing on his phone to look over at his big brother. 

“Sorry, Lito. Didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just upset with Elya.” He slipped under the covers with Ippolit, kissing his forehead gently. “Nothing you did wrong. Promise.” Ippolit whined softly and rolled until he could press his head to Anatole’s shoulder, tucking his stuffed Dementor between himself and Anatole. 

“Don’t be mad.” Ippolit whined softly, barely managing to string the words together. Anatole sighed, wrapping an arm around Ippolit and pulling him closer. 

“Not mad. Just upset. Never mad at either of you. Couldn’t ever be. It’s not possible. Don’t worry yourself over it, okay?” Ippolit nodded slightly, tucking his face in Anatole’s shirt, blocking out the light and smiling slightly. 

“‘Drey’s cute.” Ippolit mumbled, smiling. “N’Pie’e.” Anatole grinned, reaching over to switch off his bedside lamp, draping the room in darkness. 

“Yeah? Can I tell you a secret I heard from them?” Anatole asked softly, kissing the crown of Ippolit’s head. Ippolit waited until Anatole had moved away from his head to nod slightly, making sure that he wouldn’t accidentally hurt his baby brother. “They think you’re really cute too.” He stage whispered, his wide smile evident in his voice. Ippolit made a soft happy noise, hiding his face completely in Anatole’s shirt. 

“Nu uh. Liar.” Ippolit mumbled happily. 

“Uh huh, they do. They told me themselves. Okay,” He paused. “That’s halfway true. I caught them gushing about you on the bus today and they were both blushing like idiots when I did.” Anatole let go of the residual anger at his sibling for the sake of getting happy noises out of his big brother. “They both were talking about how pretty they think your smile is and how they want to talk to you  _ so badly _ but they don’t know how. Swear on my life!” Ippolit hid his face back in Anatole’s shirt, a few more happy noises coming from the back of his throat. 

“Anatole?” Marya knocked gently on the doorpost. “Elya has something they want to say.” Ippolit tensed. Anatole opened his mouth to snap something, but felt Ipp’s nervous movement beside him and forced himself to let it go for that night, at least. 

“I’m listening.” Was the best he could manage. Elya shifted in the doorway, frowning at Marya before lifting their chin haughtily. 

“I’m sorry.” They said, not sorry in the least. Anatole huffed. 

“I forgive you.” He replied, not forgiving them at all. “Goodnight.” He said pointedly, brushing his fingers through Ippolit’s hair to soothe him. “I love you.”

“Night. Love you too.” They said, then pivoted, stalking away the same way Anatole had earlier. Ippolit made an angry noise, sitting up and crossing his arms. 

“Elena.” Ippolit snapped, only using their full name when he really was upset. “Anatole. Stop.” 

Anatole flinched, his fight dissolving immediately. “Sorry. Sorry, I’m sorry Lito.” Elya froze where they were in the hallway. They walked back slowly. 

“Sorry, Ipp.” They amended softly. “And I’m sorry, Toto. That was mean of me.” 

“It’s okay.” Anatole said softly. “Come to bed with us?” He offered, reaching out a hand for them. Elya climbed into bed behind Ippolit, taking Anatole’s hand. They both curled around their older brother, whispering apologies. Ippolit slowly relaxed in his siblings’s arms and dozed off, falling asleep curled contentedly between them. 

  
Marya let herself out of the Kuragin house two hours later, having made sure the lights were off, and the siblings asleep and in bed, their bags packed and money for lunches sitting on the counter, a note on the whiteboard in the kitchen simply reading,  _ ‘You’re welcome, -Mom’  _  from her for when they woke up. She smiled, walking herself home. They’d be okay, they always were. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AGhostOrRather - Fedya Dolokhov  
> AndTheLightsWentOut - Anatole Kuragin  
> BlowsOnAPinwheelGently - Marya  
> HowWillyouGrieveForMe - Mary  
> IWillFinallyStopRunning - Sonya  
> StriveForGreatness - Andrey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points to whoever can figure out where all of their Menthive account names come from. ~N

**_AndTheLightsWentOut posted a photo:_ **

Quick sketch dump of the spoop squad in my notebooks today. Been thinking a helluva lot about these haunted nerds for a while, especially mandi :))))

_#on this account we put out emotions into drawings to avoid them :’), #fr though, #i got Emmy on the brain, #emmy, #mandi, #max, #andi, #jake, #haze_

 

**_AGhostOrRather reblogged a photo post._ **

 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Alyosha here again kicking ass with sketches. And though I hate to steal your post, my guy, this is the perfect place to bounce off and announce THE CONTEST. *insert spoopy noises here* (or maybe a good synth solo,  @BlowsOnAPinwheelGently ).

ANNOUNCING AN ART CONTEST. Whaaaaaaat? You heard correctly AN ART CONTEST.

For the next 24 hours, my submissions box will be open. Please, for the love of God, do not submit anything terrible to me. Please. I am but a poor author looking to make his way in life. But any fan art of Emmy or Last Read At, or if you smarmy bastards think that after two chapters you all can give me things on Jesse, go ahead and try. My, and my darling dear sister  @HowWillYouGrieveForMe , top 10 pick will all get rewards. What, you ask? We haven’t decided yet. But it will be good. I swears it.

~Teddy

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ ** ill have mine fucking done tonight fucking HOLY shiT!!

**_AndTheLightsWentOut submitted an image [in an ink drawing, max and andi float back to back, max is holding a phone and andi is holding a computer. Around them are black swaths of darkness, some of the shapes almost humanoid as they spiral out of the screens. They are holding hands. Towards the edges of the picture, the darkness seems to break off in glitches, leaving a white border. The image is titled, “my ghost in the mirror”.]_ **

 

**_AGhostOrRather sent you a message_ **

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Yeah, hi, what the FUCK.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** uh…..hi????????

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** and everyone says I’M the talented one.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** That’s BULLSHIT.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** r u like…….. high??? what in the shitting hell are we talking abt here????

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** ART. A R T. WHAT THE ART.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ohhhh the thing i submitted?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Y E S

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fjgjgjgnmmgm shit man lmao

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** id like mail it to u or something but it’s a bigger project for my AP art class skdkkdgngn oops?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Bruh.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** …….yes?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** That’s

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** At a loss for words.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** And I’m a writer, that doesn’t happen.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** slsldkdkfkghhngkgk

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** do u actually really like it that much ifigjgjgkgk im having. A time processing this?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** It’s so good I might cry.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** this praise might make ME cry????

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** tfw the author you’ve admired since the He started posting his work is speechless at ur stupid fan art

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** boy i Die?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Please don’t die, I like your art and I wanna see the finished product.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** dw i won’t but like, holy shit?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** thank u

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** andrey is calling me a nerd over my shoulder currently.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Pierre is asleep

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Really? Poor guy.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** He was up late last night.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Messaging me.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Andrey mentioned. He was messaging ME

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** he’s telling both of us to stop whining.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** He’s now no longer watching this convo and waking Pierre up to bitvh about me ;))

 

**_AGhostOrRather messaged StriveForGreatness_ **

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Let Pierre sleep, you monster!

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** fuck off

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** i was up longer than he’ll live

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** That was proper english

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Pierre was up talking Masha out of a panic attack, please let the poor man sleep.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** i was laying in bed with her u know how this goes.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** how’s flirting with a straight boy going?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** fuck off

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** how’s preparing for auditions going?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** ready to see your boy make out with kuragin #1?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** there are so many things I could say right now God you just opened so many doors for me.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** but alas

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** and im actually more than ready. As in, I am disgustingly over prepared for this.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And Fedya, question

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Dryushenka. Answer.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** did you mention Dmitrievna to “alyosha”, perchance?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m a fucking idiot. :D

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I only caught a glimpse of the message before I replied and I just kinda assumed it was Sonya, since she and I had been talking about prom.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** i heard about it through the ass backwards grape vine of our friend group.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** At the moment im honestly just surprised that you’re not commenting on the quotation marks around alyosha

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** i’m tired, leave me alone. I didn’t sleep much.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** you and the rest of us.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** tell ‘alyosha’ that I said, he “needs to stop pretending because he is the only one who won’t admit it.” Please :)))

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** hey, dryush?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** hey son?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** can you have dad 1.0 come check me out of school? I wanna go home and nap but they won’t let me check myself out because “emancipation doesn’t mean you’re an adult, dolokhov.”

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Fyodor

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** my most perfect and brilliant friend child.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** we are on the bus to art school at this current time. That ship has fucking sailed, my son.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** tell dad 1.0 to call so i can check myself out then. Say he’ll pick me up and i’ll just walk home, it’s only like 3 blocks.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** he’s calling in right now

**_StriveForGreatness:_** He says you owe him...?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** tell him i love him forever <3 <3 <3 <3

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** yeah yeah yeah whatever dumbass

  
  


**_IWillFinallyStopRunning messaged AndTheLightsWentOut_ **

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** You’re a dumbass

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** do i… know you?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** yes. Yes you do.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** You don’t particularly like me. But it’s okay, because the feeling’s mutual.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** let me rephrase that.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** HOW exactly do i know you?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Well. We have classes together. Specifically, art.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** And you’re “dating” my cousin.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Emphasis on “”

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** why the fuck does no one believe that we’re dating

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** dont answer that.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** because you’re the twinkiest twink in the school (and that includes ur brother) and I’m p r e t t y sure my cousin’s gay.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im straight Jesus Christ?!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Okay, hon.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you and lenka should start a fucking club. You’re both awful.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** that would require me to interact with her.  

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** how’d you fucking know it was me?  

**_I Will Finally Stop Running:_ ** You’ve been working on stuff for Teddy’s stories in class. Masha sits right next to you, and she’s been texting me

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_** i can’t go and hate Mary now can i

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** so fuck you

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** mmmmm, i’m good, thanks. If i was interested in you, i’d go for one of the cuter kuragin siblings. Or both of them. hmmmmmmmmm.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh my god

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i really do not understand how Natasha lives with you

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** general necessity.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Also she’s this bad too.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** she’s really not

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** maybe only half as bad, but I’m obviously not one to talk

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i know we’re in the business of hating each other but can you do me a favor?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** hit me.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** preferably with a bus.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Natasha would kill me so sorry, no can do

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but whoever Fedya is irl, you can’t let him know who “alyosha” is

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** what makes you think i know who he is

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** also he goes by teddy on here?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** because if Mary and Pierre and Andrey all know who he is, you probably do too

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** And he made a comment about my “name” being Russian and then said Teddy’s just the Americanized version of his name

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** so we’re halfway on a first name basis

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** dont tell him

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** mkay

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** thanks. ill return some favor or whatever if you want.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** your brother’s auditioning for the show, isn’t he?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ **... for andi yes why do you ask?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oooh, i get to run tests with him too

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ill be there to… idk what to call it. provide an emotional support?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but again, why do you ask?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** curious, mostly.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Pierre and I get to run screen tests with him. :)))))

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i can’t tell how if that’s supposed to be foreboding or mocking and i want u to kno that

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** 1.) i don’t actually care as long as you’re decent to him and 2.) If u pull any shit ill maul you

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** if i’m mean to him, will your sister kick my ass plz?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** no lenka will give u such a cold shoulder you’ll be dead of hypothermia within the hour

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** death is death, i don’t shame.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** for fucks sake

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** just be a decent human, rostova

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i know it’s a lot to ask of u :)

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oooooh, he’s got comebacks

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** how’s that going for you, twink boy?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh my god

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** why can’t Mary have messaged me instead of u

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** shes so much nicer

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** today on: you don’t know mary at ALL if you think she’s nicer.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fine maybe not nicer so much as like

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** pleasant to be around

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** she takes the piss out of me all the time but she’s like

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** pleasant while she does it

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** aw boo hoo

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** ah shit gotta go or mikhailovna’ll kick my ass.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i hope she catches u :)))

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** orchestra is more fun when people besides the twins are here. Dolokhov’s out today :(

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** otherwise mikhailovna’d be yelling at him.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** who?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** the boy who literally never leaves my side? Trenchcoat, notebooks, a fucking disaster of a human being?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh fuck so he has a name

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** well at least a last name

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** does he have a first?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** fedya, actually, is what he goes by. Only andrey and pierre call him fyodor

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** huh.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im not going to ask the obvious question

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** yes he’s gay, no he’s probably not into you

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** go hook up with bolkonsky.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** not the obvious question you fucking brick, i don’t care whether he’s gay or into me or whatever

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** christ, rostova

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** the twink doth protest too much, methinks

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im ignoring that particular topic of discussion until u all grow up

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** does Fedya Dolokhov run a fucking blog under the very poorly made alias “teddy”

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** welp, gotta go. Off to band. :)

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** bye bye, kuragin #3.

 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning messaged HowWillYouGrieveForMe_ **

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** 10/10 wanna die.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** am i supposed to feign surprise?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** how’s gym with my cousin going, you asshole?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** natasha is still nicer than you!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Aw, love you too. :****

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** :DDD!!!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oh btw apparently fedya went home early

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** he just sent me a text that said ‘dad called me out gonna nap lol u fuckerz are stuck at school’

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** so i’m plotting his death, wanna help me?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** hmm

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what do i get out of it?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** my eternal love

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i already have that

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** so eh, need a different payment :)  <3

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oh shit btw u know how we have to do fucking self portraits or whatever for art

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** how long do u think i could get away with painting tasteful nudes before pavlovna kicks me out of class again

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** who’s nudes?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** it probably depends

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** trying to decide

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i have some great ones of my own but also like four of your brother.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** ew

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i know a model if you want to pass it off as a “life study”

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** o.O

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** are you interested?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** depends on who…

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i know this girl who’s interested in you

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i mean, in modeling for you :D

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oh?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** …

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** could i?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i’d say let’s avoid tasteful nudes just so i don’t get murdered by anyone

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** but god yeah

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i mean, i can bat my eyelashes and pass it off as life modeling

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** if you want, i mean

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** masha, honey, i’m gonna be working really closely with your brother for the next six months, i want to avoid death-by-bolkonsky.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** you don’t have to

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** you’re my favorite tho, he won’t kill you :(((

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** if you think that will save me, you’re wrong

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** I’ve known him for longer!

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** if my brother can fuck a straight twink you can draw me naked

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** “straight” twink.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** oh would you leave that alone!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** abso-fucking-lutely not.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** also if elena kuragina could please KICK ME i’d thank her

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i was minding my own FUCKING BUSINESS yesterday and watched her do like 7 backflips and then fall into the splits and jesus fuck i’m gay.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** clearly you weren’t minding your business if u were being a huge lesbian :)

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** in my defense, i was trying to watch marya d because she scares me.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** oooooo Yeah

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i mean Elena is very pretty too

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** both of them scare me, though. I couldn’t talk to them

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** Elena is pretty but marya could step on me and i’d thank her tbh.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** like. She’s 17. How the fuck can she bench press the kuragin twins.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ **  Anatole says that Elena is nice once she likes you. Not to him though

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** Marya is just scary

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** but hot.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** well yes of course

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** but too scary

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** if she so much as glanced at me I’d probably cry

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** doesn’t she, like, hang out with pierre a lot?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i just stay out of her way

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** i.e.: i hide in my room and video chat

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** sometimes Anatole but sometimes Andrei comes and hangs out with me

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** hm.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** hmmmmmm.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what?!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** what r u doing after school today?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** ...it depends?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** ice cream on me, can get homework done?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** yes!!! my house? we can use that window seat to sketch each other after!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** sounds good to me. :)

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** yay!!

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** oh no, Sonya why is anatole complaining to me about you

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what did you do?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** what didn’t i do, is the real question

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** SOFIA ALEXANDROVNA ROSTOVA!!!!!!!!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** that’s me.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** did you tell him Fedya’s identity with the whole webthing?!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** no, i wouldn’t do that to fedya. I just. Didn’t answer the questions he had about fedya.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** oh my gosh

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** well! he knows now apparently.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** at least we know that he won’t seek Fedya out!!

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** but we only have so long before just about everyone knows who fedya is

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what do you mean?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** well, half the school follows fedya on the fucking website. And fedya’s been quietly talking about trying to get a publisher to actually publish his shit.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** there’s only so much time before he drops ‘teddy’ and just starts going by his actual name.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** so…?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** and then our little fedya, who hates attention, basically becomes famous at school

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** what does that have to do with Anatole? he won’t tell?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** anatole, who has a crush on fedya

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** who is claiming he’s straight

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** Anatole won’t expose him! if anything he’s going to go out of his way to avoid any interactions with him. Because he’s stupid and that’s what he does.

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** wait until Fedya walks in when we start filming. Anatoles a good actor in public, if nothing else, and Fedya will have no idea

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** but that may be worse considering Fedya has a crush on Anatole

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** idk have you seen what pierre and marya have been conspiring about?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i heard from your brother that marya d’s working costumes for the show

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** and has fedya in like A L L  fitted clothing

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** and you know how he doesn’t like clothes that actually fit him

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** which is odd because he’s really pretty :(

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** but anatoles good at being an aloof asshole. which is unpleasant but he’ll do it to Fedya if he has to

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** theres faux oblivious Anatole (eh), and then there’s cold shoulder Anatole (ugly)

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** why do you know this

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** yknow what, i don’t want to know

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** shit’ll work itself out

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** He was my first kiss and then he freaked out because he found out that im a lesbian and he felt bad and then we became friends :)

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** that’s fucking weird, mash.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** anyways, i’ve got a free period last, so i’ll see you after school, yeah?

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** it’s not weird :(

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe:_ ** but yeah! see ya!


	6. Chapter Six

Fedya was still half asleep, dozing from his nap on the couch, when the sudden giggling woke him up abruptly. “Could you two possibly do that elsewhere?” Fedya scrubbed at his eyes, glaring sleepily at the front door, where Sonya and Mary stood guiltily. 

Mary smiled at him, abashed. “Hi Fedya,” She said softly. “Have a nice nap?” She glanced at Sonya, trying to imitate her crush’s confidence.

“Fyodor!” Sonya swept into the room with a bright smile, dropping down onto the couch next to him, laughing warmly when he tried to push her away. “Feeling okay? We worried.” She paused, considering. “Actually, no we didn’t, we just kinda assumed you were skiving. As usual.”

“Take your perky attitude and shove it up Andrey’s ass.” Fedya grumbled, giving up trying to push Sonya away and instead curling back up on the couch, tucking his face back against the pillow. 

“Sonya! Be nice!” Mary said, kneeling next to the couch. “Let him take care of himself for once.” She said, stifling a mocking smile. 

“You’re all awful and I hate you.” Fedya muttered. Sonya patted his head sympathetically before grimacing.

“Go take a shower, hon.” She said, gently shoving at his arm. “C’mon, Masha, let’s leave him be now, the ugly fucker.”

“I’m the ugly one?” He peered at her from a slitted eye with a grimace on his face. Mary laughed and patted his hair gently. 

“No Fedya, you’re the pretty one. Now go and get your beauty sleep.” She said, grabbing Sonya’s hand and pulling her away, giggling. Fedya grumbled wordlessly and tucked his face back into the pillow, mumbling to himself as he did. 

Sonya followed after Mary, smiling the entire time, as they got to the seat and climbed onto it, settling comfortably. “I hate homework,” Sonya said in a bright sing-song voice, staring at her chemistry worksheet with a confused look on her face. 

Mary laughed, pulling the sheet towards her. “Let me see- oh. This is simple. They just explain it wrong for you. But come on… here.” Mary pulled her notes out, drawing out a diagram in the way she knew Sonya would understand. “You can keep this, and I’ll re-write my notes for you again if you’d like.” Sonya stared at the diagram for a few minutes, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Uh.” She said smartly, slowly lowering her pen to the paper to attempt to get through the worksheet. “This is why you’re smarter than me, Mash.”

“You stop that!” Mary said, shoving Sonya a little. “You’re just as smart as me. Just in a different way.” She insisted. Sonya shrugged slightly. 

“Just not a science and math gay, I guess.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder dramatically, giving Mary a small smile. “Seriously, I failed geometry twice until you came around.”

Mary smiled shyly. “It’s really no big deal, Sofi. You have the ability to get it. You just need people to speak your language.” She nudged Sonya. “You’re the one who explained color theory to me, finally, y’know.” Sonya hid a smile. 

“What can I say? Art just makes sense.” She shrugged slightly, shifting on the seat, stretching her legs out onto Mary’s lap. “Acting, too. It’s easy.”

Mary leaned her head on the window with a soft, happy little sigh. “Both of which, you’re brilliant at, by the way.” She watched Sonya’s soft eyes with her own. Sonya smiled at Mary, letting out a small sigh. 

“Mm, yeah,” she said, pausing when the front door opened downstairs. “Sounds like your brother’s home.” Mary giggled. 

“Looks like Fedya’s not getting any more sleep!” She chirped flicking a little wad of paper at Sonya’s face. 

“Poor boy.” Sonya said, mock sympathetically, shaking her head. “How long do you think we have before Pierre just carries Fedya up to his room?”

“Depends on how grumpy he’s feeling.” Mary said, glancing at the screen of her phone. “Which, judging by the string of pink hearts I got after the, ‘We’re home’ he’ll probably carry him up in a minute.” 

“Awwww.” Sonya teased gently, pausing when Pierre did just that, Fedya tucked in his arms, Fedya whining the entire time. “Hey, Pierre.”

“Hey, Sofia.” Pierre said, pausing to glance them over. “Masha, your brother’s in a mood, think you could work some brownie magic tonight?” Mary looked up at him, concerned.

“What happened?” She asked, already slipping her papers back into her folder and putting her pens away.

“Had an anxiety attack at MPA.” Pierre sighed softly, patting Fedya’s head gently, as though it would quiet his whining. “They were watching some movie, and you know how he is, with men in movies, and…” He trailed off, glancing at Sonya. Sonya smiled gently and plugged her ears. Pierre smiled. “Character reminded him of your father.”

Mary was off like a shot, speeding down the hall, then down the stairs in search of her older brother. Andrey had ended up on the couch Fedya had been curled up on previously, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. Mary padded into the room silently, curling up to Andrey as was custom for them. She draped her legs over his side and rested her head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, hey Mash.” Andrey said, voice rough. His arms wrapped around her firmly and he pressed his nose into her hair, taking a breath to steady himself. “Pierre told you what happened?” 

Mary hummed in confirmation and shifted to kiss his cheek. “Do you need to talk about it?” She asked softly. 

“No. Not now, at least. Maybe later.” He said, clearing his throat. Mary hummed again. 

“You in the mood for a distraction? We can bake?” She offered, smiling gently when Andrey’s face brightened slightly. “I should warn you that Sonya is here.” She added.

“That’s fine, she’ll probably bother Fedya, no?” He said, slipping an arm under her legs and lifting her, starting for the kitchen. 

“Yes. I made her stop earlier before you got home, but I doubt Pierre will step in.” She grinned. Andrey let her down, kissing her cheek before he moved to take bowls down from some of the higher shelves. Mary moved to get the ingredients, and together the siblings fell into a familiar, calming rhythm.

Pierre returned downstairs after some time, leaving Sonya to bother Fedya, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen to watch them with a soft smile on his face. “Hey.” He hummed softly when Andrey noticed him. “How’re you holding up, love?” Andrey shrugged, but offered him a small smile. 

“I’m feeling better, thank you.” He said. Mary rolled her eyes, looking at him. He deflated. “I’m getting there.” Mary looked satisfied and went back to cracking eggs. Pierre crossed the room and paused, looking at Andrey. 

“Hey, you okay to touch, love?” He murmured softly, watching Andrey carefully. Andrey nodded, turning and opening his arms to his boyfriend. 

“Yeah, touch is fine. Just…” Andrey trailed off. It wasn’t new for Andrey to have a hard time asking for what he needed. 

“No loud voices.” Mary said, smiling at Pierre. 

“No loud voices.” Pierre echoed in agreement, tucking Andrey against him gently, kissing his head. “Understood, love. Anything else I can do?” Pierre pulled away slightly, tugging his hoodie off and wrapping it around Andrey, smiling warmly at him. “You wanna keep helping Masha, or sit down with me?” 

Andrey looked at Mary for a moment, communicating silently, before Andrey turned back to Pierre. “I’ll sit with you. Living room?” He asked, gripping Pierre’s hand as he broke the embrace. Pierre hummed an agreement, and let Andrey lead the way to the living room, sitting down on the couch so Andrey could curl up against him. 

“You gonna be able to handle school tomorrow, love?” Pierre asked softly. “Or should I fake a note for you so they don’t come after our asses for missing school a lot again?”

Andrey rolled his eyes stoically. “I’ll be fine, Pierre. Really. It’s just my dad. Can’t do anything if he’s locked in a nursing home.” 

“Yeah, love, but if you need to take a break from school, then you’re allowed to.” Pierre said calmly, kissing his forehead. “No one would fault you for a mental health day. ‘Specially not in this house, since we let Fedya take one today.”

Andrey nodded, shifting uncomfortably, wanting to be done with the conversation. “Yeah. Speaking of Fedya, and things pertaining to Fedya, auditions are this weekend.”

“I know, love, you keep reminding me.” Pierre brushed his fingers through Andrey’s hair, purposely mussing the previously perfectly gelled hair. “Are you prepared for them?”

Andrey swatted at Pierre’s hand half heartedly, smiling. “Yes. Well,” he huffed out a laugh. “I’m ready to for them, save for Ippolit’s. What about you?” He pressed a kiss to Pierre’s lips. 

“Pretty ready.” Pierre shrugged slightly. “I mean, I don’t have much to prepare for. I’ve already got the role, and running screen tests isn’t a big deal.” He waited a second before going back to playing with Andrey’s hair. 

Andrey shot a look of fabricated annoyance at his boyfriend before settling comfortably against him. “Fair enough. I just. Have a crush.” He forced out. Pierre laughed. 

“I know, Andrey.” Pierre teased, tucking his head down to press a gentle kiss to his neck. “Think you’ll be able to handle us?” Andrey grunted rolling his eyes again. 

“No.” He said shortly. “I just want to cuddle with the both of you. Is that too much to ask?” He said, in the closest Andrey would ever get to a whine.

“Are you whining at me?” Pierre couldn’t hide the grin spreading across his face, kissing Andrey’s neck again. “Just ask him out, Dryushenka.”

Andrey shot a look at his boyfriend before he shifted, moving so that he could rest his head in Pierre’s lap. “I’m going to be his  _ director _ . That’s unprofessional, you fool.” He frowned, lips pursing. 

“You’re still a student, darling. He’s not getting paid.” Pierre reminded him, poking his side lightly. “Hardly unprofessional.”

“Fine.” Andrey conceded with a sigh. “What if you asked him out for both of us?” He smiled hopefully up at Pierre.

“Or you could do it and be happy.” Pierre replied, bordering on condescending, as he lightly tapped Andrey’s nose that time, grinning. “You’re the one who’s absolutely obsessed with him, love.” Andrey wrinkled his nose, swatting Pierre’s nose in return. 

“That’s horrifying.” Andrey said glaring half heartedly at Pierre. “How dare you suggest such a thing.”

“Admit the truth, Andrey.” Pierre laughed warmly, poking at Andrey’s sides, knowing fully well he was ticklish. “Just admit it.”

“There’s no truth to admit,” Andrey said, squirming and trying to hide it. Pierre chuckled, continuing to gently poke at Andrey’s sides, trying to get a smile or laugh out of him. 

Andrey’s mouth twitched, his breath catching as he tried to stay still. “I know- agh, I know what you’re doing. And it’s not-” Andrey cut himself off, finally giving in. “Ah! Christ, Pierre.” He gasped, grinning in spite of himself. Pierre laughed warmly, pressing a kiss to Andrey’s lips and settled comfortably, his arms wrapped around Andrey, tucking him close. 

“Gay.” Fedya remarked quietly, dropping onto one of the other couches, his hair hanging around his face, dripping wet, Sonya trailing after Fedya and settling on the couch next to him. Andrey flopped him off happily, kissing Pierre. Mary poked her head through the doorway, eyes finding Sonya. She smiled at the scene. 

“Are we ordering in tonight, Pierre?” She asked, pulling on oven mitts.

“Yeah, I think so.” Pierre replied, kissing Andrey’s forehead again. “You all pick, put it on my card, Masha, please.” The oven beeped, and Mary pointed at Fedya as she retreated into the kitchen. 

“Your turn.” She said simply. Fedya lit up at that, and reached for his phone, scrolling through the countless fast food apps on his phone, settling on one after Sonya leaned over and pressed on it for him.

“Is Marya coming over?” Sonya asked suddenly, her head shooting up to look at Pierre. Pierre looked at Andrey. 

“Up to him.” Pierre said finally, nodding at Andrey. “If he’s up to her being over.”

“Sure. Mash, how about you?” Andrey said. Mary reappeared in the doorway, oven mitts discarded. She paused, twisting her hands and frowning as she considered. After a moment, she nodded wordlessly, settling on the couch next to Pierre, taking her brother’s hand. “That’s a yes, then.” Andrey confirmed.

“Text her and ask her what she wants.” Sonya nudged at Fedya. Fedya elbowed her back. 

“Text her yourself, shithead.”

“Did you just call me-” The two continued to bicker quietly, Fedya clearly doing better than he had been earlier. Pierre sighed softly, and tucked his head back against Andrey’s neck. 

“Do they ever stop?” He muttered rhetorically. Mary smiled at him. 

“No.” She whispered. Pierre groaned and shook his head dramatically, pressing several light kisses to Andrey’s skin. Mary shifted again. “Pierre.” She said, softly enough that Fedya and Sonya couldn’t hear.

“Still with me, love?” Andrey made a noise of agreement and shifted so that he could see his younger sister. 

“What is it Masha?” He asked worriedly. 

“New person, I’m nervous. Can I stick by you two?” She asked. Andrey nodded, sitting up and moving to her other side. He wrapped an arm around her, but leaned over to kiss Pierre one more time. Pierre smiled gently, nodding his head at the both of them, and only moving from his position when the doorbell rang, and Pierre had to hold Sonya back from the door. 

“Hey, Marya.” Pierre said comfortably, still holding Sonya back with a single hand. Fedya snorted softly. Marya smiled, glancing around the group of them. Mary giggled from where she was still pressed up against Andrei. 

“I hope I’m not intruding?” She said politely, giving them all a faint smile. 

“Not at all, just having a slow night.” Andrey said, smiling at her. Mary gave her a little wave. Marya smiled back at Andrey, wiggling her fingers in an imitation of a wave at Mary. Pierre stepped aside to let her in. 

“Would you go sit back down?” Pierre lightly shoved at Sonya, rolling his eyes with she stuck her tongue out in reply. 

“I don’ wanna.” Sonya replied, managing to make the three words sound like one, whining like a child. Pierre raised his eyebrows.

“I can and will pick you up if you make me, Sofia.”

“Do it, I dare you.”

“Sonyushka, don’t do that.” Marya raised an eyebrow. Sonya froze and slowly moved back to the couch, sitting down quietly, watching Marya with curious eyes. Pierre sighed and moved back to the couch himself, muttering something about, “Fucking lesbians,” under his breath. Mary covered her mouth with both of her hands as she shook with laughter, her eyes meeting Sonya’s teasingly. 

“Andrey, Pierre.” Marya said certainly, ending up on the same couch as Fedya and Sonya, Fedya sat directly between the two, curled with his knees to his chest, playing on his phone. “I took a brief glance at the costume designs you sent me- nice sketches, by the way, Pierre.”

“Thanks.” 

“I think a lot of it can be pulled from closets, or is simple enough to find out, but you’re gonna need to give me a budget for costumes, Bolkonsky.” 

Andrey raised an eyebrow at her. “Both of us are more than loaded, Dmitrievna. I trust you not to go overboard.” He leaned back, and Mary tucked her legs up, watching Marya all the while. 

“Alright.” Marya said, nodding her head slightly. “I’m going to need measurements for your entire cast when you have them cast, and I’d prefer to be at the auditions and/or the callbacks to get an idea as to how everyone moves.”

“Jesus, Mar, going a bit overboard?” Pierre muttered, raising his eyebrows at her. She turned her eyes to him, brown eyes meeting identical eyes. 

“I take my jobs seriously, Pyotr, it apparently doesn’t run i-”

“Okay, Marya, I get it.” Pierre said, cutting her off halfway through the sentence.  Mary let out an alarmed noise, looking between the two. Andrey rolled his eyes.

“It’s okay Mash. She’s just like that.” He said. Marya looked at Mary, softening slightly. 

“Sorry, my dear.” She said in a gentler tone, giving her a gentle smile. Pierre snorted under his breath. Marya turned another glare on Pierre, smirking in satisfaction when Pierre raised his hands in surrender.

“Well, you have three actors here.” Fedya cut in helpfully. Andrey squinted at him, making a show out of counting on his fingers. 

“Uh, Fedya- no? We don’t.” He said. 

“Well, if we called Ippolit Kuragin we would.” Mary said, just loud enough that everyone could hear. Andrey made a wounded noise. Sonya and Pierre snickered, Pierre pressing a gentle kiss to Andrey’s lips as if to soothe a wound.

“What, you gonna keep asking me to play Haze and then drop the offer?” Fedya raised his eyebrows, challenging Andrey. Marya made a soft noise of surprise, turning her eyes on him, scrutinizing him. 

“Oh, Elena and I could have fun with you.” She said knowingly, a grin curling on her lips. “Do let him have the role, Bolkonsky.”

Andrey shot a withering look at Fedya. “I’ve been pushing him to take the role since he let me in on the whole thing, God’s sake. Do whatever the hell you want with him.”

“Just leave enough of him for Anatole, Marya.” Mary said, at the same tone as her last comment. Andrey laughed before he could catch himself, sharing a grin with his sister. Fedya scowled at the both of them and tucked himself into the hoodie he was wearing, likely stolen from Pierre’s closet.

“Oh?” Marya said, delight creeping into her voice “Now there’s three of you I have to warn against hurting my babies?” 

Mary smiled at her shyly, but met her eyes boldly. “I think we both know that Anatole’s less likely to make a move on a boy than Fedya is.” She said looking at Marya knowingly. Andrey smiled, pleased at this sudden show of assertion from her. Marya snorted softly. 

“Perhaps so. And yet I need to remind your brother and his boyfriend that should they so much as make Ippolit shed a tear, they will be facing my, as well as Elena and Anatole’s, wrath.”

Andrey rolled his eyes, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “If I ever pluck up the courage to ask him out, that is.”

“Well, when you manage it, I’m certain he’ll say yes.” Marya replied, checking her fingernails. “He’s quite taken with the both of you. Of course, not that he’ll say it out loud, the walls have ears and those walls more so than others.”

Andrey sat forwards, almost shoving Mary off of the couch as he did. She clung to him, whining. “Wait- Wait really?” He looked at Marya with wide eyes. “You’re not fucking with me?”

“When it comes to my children?” Marya scoffed softly. “Hardly. Lito is quite taken with the both of you. The boy hardly talks, and in the past month, it’s all been quiet enthusiasm about the both of you. And Fedya, but I suspect that’s platonic.” Fedya smiled innocently, peering at his phone silently. 

Andrey sat back against Pierre, looking star-struck. Mary fixed her eyes on Fedya, catching Sonya’s gaze and winking. “Fedya, is that Alyosha?” She asked sweetly, the very picture of innocence.

“Uh, what?” Fedya’s head jerked up and he stared around at them guiltily. Pierre snickered. 

“That would be a yes.” He confirmed. Fedya flushed and glared at him. Mary smiled sweetly at him, and turned to Marya to explain, her big brown eyes wide. 

“Fedya has a new artist friend for the series. The account, AndTheLightsWentOut? No hyphens? Have you heard of him?” She said, clearly knowing exactly who was really behind the account. “Anatole might have competition.” Mary sat back, nodding solemnly. 

“On what website?” Marya raised her eyebrows, looking between them, before piecing together everything. She hadn’t been filled in, until that point, that  _ Fedya _ was  _ Teddy _ and figured it out. “Ah. Hm. I can’t say that I have, but I, of course, don’t spend much time perusing websites. I’m far too busy.”

“Doing what, your nails? Your hair? The Kuragins’s hair?”

“Pyotr, are you capable of  _ shutting your mouth _ ?”

“No.” Pierre smiled at her warmly. Marya rolled her eyes, but when she could play off as suspecting no one was looking, shot him a smile in return. Mary caught it, and smiled to herself. 

“How is our  _ dear  _ Alyosha, Fedya?” Andrey craned his neck to see Fedya around Pierre. 

“Fine.” Fedya scowled, shaking his head. Sonya reached over and patted his head gently. 

“Should go do your hair, Teddy, it’s gonna be a mess otherwise when it dries completely.” She said knowingly, giving him an out of the conversation. Fedya muttered a thanks and nearly darted out of the room. Sonya, rather conspicuously, shifted on the couch closer to Marya. Marya smirked and pretended not to notice. Once Fedya had left the room, Marya spoke again.

“Does he not know?”

“No. But Anatole does.” Mary whispered. “And Sonya? Stop being such a hopeless lesbian.” 

“Let me live my life.” Sonya whispered back. Marya raised her eyebrows, looking between the two of them, before turning her attention to the two men in the room. 

“I don’t suppose either of them are aware I can hear them, yes?”

“Sonya thinks you’re, ‘hot’, and she wants you to, ‘step on her’.” Mary said to Marya 

pulling a solemn face. Marya blinked a little at her, tilting her head slightly. 

“Well, uh. Thank you, I suppose?” She said, slowly, looking between the two girls. Sonya seemed oddly confident, sitting tall with a smirk on her face. 

“You are so welcome.” She replied. Marya looked at Pierre, almost a, ‘Save me,’ look directed at him. Pierre snickered. 

“Masha, Sonya, why don’t you go finish up making whatever desserts you were gonna make for the week.” He gently prompted them to leave.

Mary narrowed her eyes at him. “I know what you’re trying to to Pyotr, and no. It’s not Sunday. Only brownies today.” Again, she turned to Marya. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would make her worse. I was only trying to tease her.”

“Masha, let us talk the web series.” Pierre tried again, running his fingers through his hair. “Let the adults talk.” Mary looked at Andrey for back up. When he offered none, she turned a cold glare at Pierre and walked off. Sonya followed after her hurriedly, grabbing her hand before she could completely run off. 

“Thank you, Pierre.” Marya said softly, shifting on the couch. Pierre smiled at her, nodding his understanding. Anxiety ran in the family. 

Mary gave Sonya the same disgruntled look, but didn’t pull away. Sonya gently tugged her to her room, shutting the door behind them. “Hey, don’t be mad at me,” Sonya murmured, batting her eyelashes at Mary. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Wrong.” Mary said pulling away and laying face down on her bed. It was unusual for Mary to give Sonya any sort of difficulty.

“Hey,” Sonya said slowly, sinking down onto the edge of the bed to sit near her. “Hey, what did I do? What’s going on?” 

Mary was silent for a moment, twisting her hands into her comforter. “Marya.” She said, then immediately shook her head, still face down. “No. Never mind. Go away.”

“Masha?” Sonya asked worriedly. “Do I need to get Andrey? Or- Or Fedya?” 

“ _No_.” Mary said forcefully. “They’re talking to _Marya._ _Remember_?” Her shoulders hunched. “All of you.” 

“Masha?” Sonya repeated, shaking her head. “I don’t understand. Is there anything I can do?”

“ _ No! _ ” She repeated, and then whimpered drawing into herself further. “Yes. No.” She  murmured something into the pillow, tipping her chin down. Sonya hesitated before laying down on the bed next to her, not quite touching her, but giving her a choice of whether or not to move closer. 

“What can I do, Mary?” Sonya asked, uncharacteristically soft and quiet, gentle where she often wasn’t. It drew a surprised moment of silence out of Mary. She stilled, turning her head just enough to expose one red rimmed, teary eye. She sniffled.

“Jealous.” She admitted quietly, then hid her face. 

“Of who?” Sonya prompted softly, turning on her side to look at Mary, still as soft as before. 

“I’m not strong or tall or loud or mean.” Mary said in a rush, twisting the sheets more tightly. Her knuckles went white. “Go  _ away _ .”

“Hey, hey, Mary, Masha,” Sonya reached out as if to touch her before stopping herself. “Masha, you don’t need to be- to be tall, or strong, or whatever. You’re  _ you _ . And that’s what’s important, okay? I’ve never met anyone as  _ kind _ as you, or as smart, or anyone with as pretty a laugh. You don’t need to be like them, okay?” Sonya smiled, doing her best to blink back a few tears. 

“But it’s not what  _ you _ like.” Mary said, forlornly, seemingly unable to stop talking now that she’d started. Sonya hesitated, before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to Mary’s cheek. 

“I don’t want you to be anyone but you.” She murmured, tucking Mary’s hair behind her ear once she’d figured out that she could touch Mary without Mary immediately pulling away from her. “And I’m an idiot, yeah? I’m not very good at showing genuine interest in people.” 

Mary froze, turning her face to face Sonya fully. “Like you, Sonya.” She said softly one hand detaching itself from the comforter to touch the spot Sonya’s lips had pressed. “Like you like  _ that _ . Don’t know how to flirt.”

Sonya smiled, raising her own hand to take Mary’s, curling their fingers together. “I like you too, Masha.” Sonya said softly. “Promise.”

Mary let out a noise somewhere between a breathy laugh and a sob, and bit her lip. “I’m sorry for being mean tonight.” She squeezed Sonya’s hand. 

“It’s okay.” Sonya squeezed her hand back. “Maybe we should take a nap, yeah? Bet you’re exhausted.” She gave her another warm smile, shifting to wrap an arm around Mary, to hold her. Mary moved closer, almost rolling on top of Sonya to hug her. 

“Talk in the morning? Have to talk.” Mary said, already drifting off. Sonya just smiled and kissed Mary’s cheek again, closing her own eyes and letting herself drift off. 

Fedya poked his head in about an hour later, and catching sight of them, smiled and turned the lights off, shutting the door with a soft click before making his way downstairs, to Andrey and Pierre. 

“They’re asleep.” Fedya announced informatively. “Together. Mary’s basically on top of Sonya.”

Andrey rolled his eyes. “Don’t fuck with me, c’mon, go get them you ass.”

“Andrey, I’m serious.” Fedya said, dropping down onto his couch, tucking his bare feet into a blanket immediately. “They’re asleep. Mary looked like she’d been crying.” 

Andrey tensed. “What? You’re sure?” He looked a breath away from running in to check on her. Pierre moved his hands to gently rub Andrey’s shoulders, effectively pinning Andrey to the couch. 

“Let her sleep. If Fedya’s right, it sounds like Sofia handled it.” He said quietly, pausing to press a kiss to Andrey’s forehead. “She’s growing up, love. You can’t protect her from everything forever.”

“I know, I know.” Andrey groaned. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” He said stubbornly. Pierre kissed his head again. 

“Try and let her have some freedom, love.” He said softly. “I can’t say I know how difficult it is, as I’m technically the younger sibling, but…”

“You have a sibling?” Fedya asked, suddenly attentive and looking up curiously. Andrey snorted, looking at Fedya incredulously. 

“How did you miss that?” He asked, gesturing to Marya. 

“I’m a her, not a that, thanks.” Marya said dryly, looking up from her tablet with a deadpan look. Pierre snickered softly. Fedya looked between them, shaking his head. 

“Marya and I are half-siblings, Fedya.” Pierre said, slowly, causing Fedya to scowl and flip him off. Marya rolled her eyes and went back to planning her cheer meets. 

“Yeah, I kinda missed that.” Fedya said with a shake of his head. “Since when?” 

“Well, about seventeen years ago.” Marya and Pierre said in unison. Andrey bit back a laugh, grinning wolfishly at Fedya’s expression. 

“Pick your jaw up off the floor, oh wise one. You’ll need that in place to eat dinner.” He said, nudging at Fedya’s foot with his own. Fedya scowled but shifted on the couch, nodding his head.

“Sooooo….” Fedya said after a long pause. “You’re costuming my show.”

“Technically Andrey’s show.” Marya replied without looking up. 

“Yeah, I wrote it, it’s my show.” Fedya replied without a second’s hesitation. “No offense, Andrey, but I kinda get final say in the matter.”

Andrey waved a hand. “None taken. He’s right, Dmitrievna.” He yawned, hiding it in Pierre’s shoulder. Marya hummed, glancing up at the both of them before nodding. 

“I suppose I am costuming your show.” She said after a pause, fixing up her diagram. Fedya tilted his head at her curiously, before nodding. 

“Alright.” He said cheerfully, letting out a yawn of his own, though making no effort to hide it. He went to speak again, but his phone alarm went off. “Ah, shit.”

“Go take your meds.” Pierre said, sensing that Fedya was considering skipping taking his meds. 

“Get me a refill tomorrow, dad? I’m on my last, like, five.” Fedya said, standing up. Pierre nodded and waved his hand at him, shooing him out of the room. 

“I’ll pick them up tomorrow, love. You take that nap after school.” Andrey said, patting his boyfriend’s chest. Marya waited until he was out to lock her tablet and stretch a bit. 

“So.” She said quietly. “What’s his deal?”

Andrey frowned, confused. “What’s who’s deal?” 

“Fedya’s. Teddy’s. Whatever the hell he’s going by.” Marya shrugged a shoulder. “I have French and AP Euro in school with him, but I’ve never talked to him.”

“What do you mean his, ‘deal’?” Andrey clarified, waving a hand. “He’s quiet and he writes, has a pretty fucking massive fan following, and he’s a witty bastard. all of which you know. That’s pretty much it.”

“The trenchcoats make him comfortable.” Pierre said, catching on to what Marya was asking. “And he’s been growing his hair out for years, since his sister…” He trailed off, shaking his head slightly. 

“His sister?” Marya prompted softly, shifting on the couch to look at her brother properly. 

“His sister died.” Pierre said bluntly, chewing on his own lip. “A few years ago. Fedya’s been growing his hair out since, with a brief time where they made him cut it.” Marya blinked, trying to piece the information together.

Andrey shook his head, mouth pressed together, and smacked Pierre’s arm pointedly. “If you want to know anything about him, ask him for yourself. It’s not ours to tell.” His voice was terse. Pierre bent his head slightly in apology to Andrey. Marya nodded her head slightly, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear.

“That was all I was asking.” She said quietly. “Thank you.” Andrey gave a neutral grunt in response. 

“And if anyone asks, you don’t know.” He added, almost as a second thought.

“I’m not an idiot, Bolkonsky.” Marya rolled her eyes slightly, turning her full attention back to her tablet, muttering under her breath, “They better not drop Ippolit this time,” as she refocused on her cheer diagrams. 


	7. Chapter Seven

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

Well, here it is, you all asked for it. The final winners for the art contest. I’ll announce the top three at the very end, but the other winners will be announced in no particular order (also I’m judging your URLs):  @MandiIsMyOTP ,  @HazeIsDaddy ,  @JustAnAestheticsBlog ,  @BrokenWheelsGoRoundAndRound ,  @DoesAndiBentIsGay ,  @CrinkleCutSkin ,  @BlowsOnAPinwheelGently . Congrats to all of you, your artwork was fucking insane and I loved it so much.

Now the top three. These are going in order. At number three is  @IWillFinallyStopRunning . Sonya delivered a rather kick-ass rendition of the Roberts siblings, and not just the main ones, but all 5 of them. Well done, Sonya. 

At number two is  @DimpleAnon , who now has a URL! Delivering a dope as shit black and white rendition of Emmy and Haze, gave me the shivers just looking at it. 

And in first place. Is anyone surprised?  @AndTheLightsWentOut . I don’t have words to describe this incredible piece. I don’t have the words. I’m just. Jesus. I’m blown away every time I look at it.

Go follow all these kickass artists, and tell ‘em Teddy sent you!

~Teddy

  
  


**_AndTheLightsWentOut sent a post_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** holy shit for real??

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** um, fuck yeah?z

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** it’s not even finished lmao it’s just the line art?????

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im flattered tho thank you :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** And thank u for the 200 fucking followers who just reblogged a shitload of my stuff

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** shut up, alyosha, it’s so fucking good

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** i have literally no art bone in my body but my co-judge person sat there staring at it for like ten minutes. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** who was your co-judge again?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** HowWillYouGrieveForMe. Mary. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fucking hhfjfjgjglgkg

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh mary 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** that about sums up how i feel about her too

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** except i’m “not allowed to be mean” because she’s “got a girlfriend and grown up”

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i bet its fucking rostova. The devil one.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** uh yeah it is. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i fucking love Mary but Sonya is going to kill me in my sleep.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** sonya’s a sweetheart. I’m more likely to be murdered by mary

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Mary routinely puts up with me as far as I’m concerned she can do no wrong 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** shit, i’d love to talk, but andrey’s bitching about the auditions and pierre’s not around so i have to calm him down

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ah shit, have fun with that Fedya

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** thanks.

 

**Message from big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:23pm**

Toto?

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:23pm**

that is me

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:24pm**

… what should i wear to the auditions?

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:25pm**

lito, it’s friday, auditions aren’t until tomorrow 

> **12:26pm**

why are you thinking about this now? 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:27pm**

I had creative writing with andrey last period

**> 12:28pm**

And financial literacy before that with him

**> 12:28pm**

And a free period before that and he bought me a milkshake :)

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:29pm**

that would explain it then

**> 12:30pm**

wait WHAT

**> 12:30pm**

WHY DIDNT YOU LEAD WITH THAT? FUCK!!!!!! 

**> 12:31pm**

my big brother has ALL the boys wrapped around his finger! i told you that he’s into you lito 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:31pm**

He said he always goes and gets food ‘cause pierre has the next period free and he never eats in the mornings so andrey makes sure he eats

**> 12:31pm**

And he asked me if i wanted anything and i said a milkshake jokingly

**> 12:32pm**

And he brought me back a milkshake

**> 12:32pm**

And he had like five extra cherries in it cause he heard me talking to Elya at one point and heard I like cherries.

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:34pm**

andrei is so whipped im literally weeping tears of glee 

**> 12:35pm**

He’s so dumb oh my godddddd he has it so bad he fucking texted me about cherries and you liking them THATS WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:36pm**

What do i wear!!!!!!

**> 12:37pm**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :T

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:38pm**

ipp 

**> 12:38**

that is a question for when we’re both home. Which isn’t until a while for you and I know you don’t want to skip when I get out sooooo…….

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:39pm**

Marya canceled cheer today

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:40pm**

ipp im literally signing myself out as we text 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**12:41pm**

…. Don’t have anything important today. Wait for me?

**Puppy Toto**

**> 12:42pm**

hah! atta boy!! of course i will. andrey and Pierre are my ride. That cool with you? 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 12:43pm**


	8. Chapter Eight

Ippolit had slung his bag over his shoulder and tucked his hair into a hat by the time he made his way to the front desk and signed himself out, thanking every deity that Vasily had given explicit permission for the Kuragin siblings to be able to check themselves out of school. He pulled his sunglasses out of his bag and slid them onto his face, squinting still at the light. It wasn’t difficult to locate the group he was leaving with, Pierre was visible easily at any given time. Ippolit’s lips twitched as he made his way towards the group, automatically reaching for Anatole’s hand when he reached them.

Anatole gave his brother a bright smile, squeezing his hand three times. “Hey Lito. Nice of you to join the cool kids.” 

Andrey grinned at Ippolit, waving a hello. “Hey again, this is a first.” Anatole had told the two of them that Ippolit wouldn’t be talking much if at all when he came around, and had been met with casual understanding. 

Ippolit shyly wiggled his fingers in reply, letting Pierre take his bag without much of a complaint as the tall man tucked it into the trunk, letting out a yawn. 

“Tired, old man?” Anatole said, grinning.

“Not tired enough that I’m going to crash the car, and frankly, Kuragin, I don’t think you can drive.” Pierre said, pinning his gaze on Anatole. Ippolit hid a smile.

“I am absolutely terrified of driving, so you would be correct.” Anatole chirped, holding the door open for Ippolit. Ippolit regarded the back seat with a bit of a frown, until Andrey tapped his shoulder, gesturing to the front seat, letting Ippolit take it. Anatole climbed in after, blowing a sharp puff of air into andrey’s ear when he was settled. 

“Can you please stop being  _ you _ .” Andrey swatted at him as Anatole recoiled, snickering. 

“We dropping you off in the same place as usual, Kuragin?” Pierre directed back at Anatole in an attempt to stop the bickering before it started. 

“Unfortunately!” Anatole said brightly, dodging an elbow aimed at him. “Fuck off! I have so much opportunity to blast you in this car.”

“Like I blasted your ass for half a year?” Andrey muttered to him. They both snickered, and just like that, the peace was made. Ippolit made a soft noise, grimacing in the rearview mirror. Pierre chuckled softly. 

“Ignore them,” he said softly, directed at Ippolit. “They do this basically everyday.” Ippolit made another soft noise, closer to a whine, and Pierre glanced at him sympathetically.  “Yeah, it sucks. I can make them shut up, if you want?” Ippolit shrugged slightly and paused, tilting his head before a smile spread on his face and he leaned forwards to turn the radio up. Pierre had left it playing on classical.  

Anatole paused in his chat with Andrey, grinning slowly as he saw his brother move to turn the music up. He signaled for Andrey to shut up, and leaned back, still smiling slightly. “He wants us to shove it.” He explained under his breath. “That’s what that means.”

Andrey nodded, completely serious, and Anatole rolled his eyes. “You’re trying to hard and also, trying the perfect amount. Dork.” Andrey ruffled his hair, and grinned, raising a finger to his lips. 

Ippolit wasn’t paying attention to any of them, in the front seat. His eyes had fallen shut and he was relaxed in his position, letting the music wash over him and calm him. Pierre glanced over at him and the smile that spread across his face was the most genuine smile to light the man’s face. Andrey watched him through the rear view, and smiled affectionately. Anatole rolled his eyes, pretending that he wasn’t filled with a light, warm feeling that spread from his chest to his fingers and toes. 

“You’re hopeless, all three of you.” He said, unable to let the moment continue. 

“Hey, Kuragin? Shut the fuck up.” Pierre said, stopping Andrey from being the first one to reply. He reached over with one hand and gently patted Ippolit’s shoulder. Ippolit’s eyes opened immediately, a brief look of panic crossing his face before he placed the touch and relaxed. Anatole jolted forwards, as if to stop Pierre, but he sank back when Ippolit did. 

“No thanks!” He said, and Andrey elbowed him. “Ow,  _ motherfucker _ !” He whined. “My piece for AP art is going up at the end of the quarter.” He continued. Andrey stopped prodding him and sat back.

“The ‘Mandi’ piece?” He asked, and a wry smile twisting his lips. Pierre laughed quietly, shaking his head.

“You do know that the author might be there, hm?” Pierre glanced in the rearview mirror at Anatole. “And will know.” Ippolit hid a smile.

“Fedya Dolokhov?” Anatole asked knowingly. Andrey’s eyes bugged. Ippolit coughed into his elbow, turning his head to stare out the window, hiding a grin that time. Pierre didn’t answer. Anatole rolled his eyes. “Fyodor Dolokhov. The author. You’re all absolutely fucking  _ terrible _ at hiding shit.” Andrey composed himself. 

“You really have no proof.” He cleared his throat, shaking his head. “If he is or isn’t.” Andrey hesitated before asking, “how the fuck do you even know his name?” As if he couldn’t help himself. Anatole picked at his nails, feigning boredom. 

“Like I said, all of you are terrible at hiding things.” He flashed a smile at Andrei, then at Pierre through the rearview.

“Mary or Sonya.” Pierre said immediately, glancing back at them. Ippolit lit up at Sonya’s name, grinning widely. He liked Sonya, had a few classes with her. Anatole waved a hand. 

“Sonya, mostly. Mary just sort of accidentally confirmed.” He grinned. Pierre sighed a little. 

“Fedya will probably be there.” Pierre said after a long pause, ignoring Andrey’s look directed at him. “He considers Mary a sister, so. He’ll probably be there.” The smile slid off of Anatole’s face. He looked a little bit ill. 

“Shit.” He pushed his hands over his face. “Damnit. I mean,” he shrugged, feigning casual indifference. “It’s no big deal, I’ll just paint something for my third piece. But I  _ liked _ that one.” 

Ippolit made a quiet noise and turned around, giving Anatole a  _ look _ . He didn’t say anything, wasn’t in the mood to speak. He just directed a slightly cold, irritated look at Anatole. Anatole shrank back, surprised. 

“What?” He asked defensively. “Text me of you have something to say.” Andrey looked between the two, alarmed and confused. Ippolit spun back to the front seat and pulled his phone out, typing quicker than Pierre had ever seen someone type before. 

 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 1:15pm**

Do not be an utter dumbass because you’re scared. Jesus fucking Christ, Toto, you’ve been working on that piece for as long as I can fucking remember, do NOT fucking be an idiot because you’re fucking scared. Papa’s not coming, you’re f i n e.

 

Anatole scowled as he read the message, his face twisting unpleasantly. Andrey made eye contact with Pierre and grimaced. 

 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 1:16pm**

yeah? that’s funny, ippolit 

**> 1:17pm**

because i don’t remember ol’ vasili ever having to be in a setting with me for shit to get back to him and be to get the fucking belt. some of us are not the favorites, and some of us have to keep an image intact, so /do/ forgive me if my pulling a piece offends your fucking sensibilities. 

 

Anatole knew it was mean, and he knew that it was out of line, but he was just as frustrated. He put his phone in his lap, his lip trembling. He pressed them into a thin line. 

Ippolit closed his eyes for a minute, locking his phone, before he looked at Pierre, making a split second decision. “Please stop.” He said, his voice quiet. Pierre glanced at him but listened, pulling over to the side of the road and popping the trunk with a sympathetic look. Ippolit got out, grabbed his bag, and slammed the trunk shut, walking in the vague direction of the Kuragin house. Andrey shot a hard look at Anatole, who was already scrambling out of the car. 

“Shit. Shit. Fucking, damnit. Sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-  _ goddamnit _ . Thank you for the ride.” He pulled his bag out of the trunk and sped after his brother, tripping slightly. “Ippolit- Lito _ wait _ !” He called.

Ippolit didn’t slow down, reaching for his headphones and shoving them into his ears, pointedly ignoring his little brother, shifting to pull both straps of his backpack on. He took an abrupt turn onto a smaller street.  Anatole gritted his teeth, swearing again under his breath and taking off into a sprint. He caught up to his brother, tightening a fist on a backpack strap. “Lito- please.” Ippolit pulled himself out of Anatole’s grasp and scowled at him, turning again. 

It was lucky, perhaps, that Ippolit had always loved maps, had loved the streets of the city, and knew them like the back of his hand, because he had several ways he could lose Anatole and just wander the streets, always ending up home. But he didn’t particularly want to go home. 

He took several hours to just wander, switching between jogging, outright running, and walking, pausing every so often to pop into a store, occasionally buy himself something. It was with extreme hesitation that his finger hovered over the ‘call’ button by the newly added contact ‘Andrey B.’ Before he could psych himself out, he pressed it.

Andrey picked up on the second ring, shushing someone in the background. “Ippolit?” He asked, his voice a mix of panic and relief. “Jesus, thank god. Where are you?”

“Glazoskiy and Plotnikov.” Ippolit said without hesitation, not so much as glancing up at the street signs to answer. “Come… pick me up? Please?” The addition was soft, in a quieter tone. Andrey repeated the street names to whoever was in the room with him, and the sound of keys could be heard. 

“Yeah, yeah of course. You scared the shit out of us. I’m at your house right now.” He said something to a couple of people, and there were scuffling noises. “Yes- yeah…. fine, he’s…. no, no I know he is but…. just got him to fucking breathe, wait till we get back….” Andrey’s voice came back in full. “You good if it’s just me?” He asked.

“Mhm.” Ippolit hummed softly, before shifting a little. “Don’t particularly want to go home.”

Andrey paused, and the commotion on his end stilled. It was Elya’s voice that finally filtered through. “Of course he doesn’t. Because it’s too much to ask that something goes smoothly.” Mary’s voice was audible next, but what she said couldn’t be made out. “I’m  _ aware _ , thank you.” 

“Elena,” Andrey said gently. “She’s just trying to help.” 

“And I’m just trying to make the best of my own shit situation. Not all of us c- shit.” She paused. “I’m sorry. I know. Tell him I love him?” Elya finished, sounding small. Another jingle of keys, then the deadbolt of the door clicked back. 

“Of course.” Andrey said gently. The sound of an engine started up after a few moments. “You still with me, Ippolit?”

Ippolit gave a soft hum of agreement, pausing to look around him before he made a decision and stepped into the shop he was standing in front of. “M’here.” He agreed, nodding his head slightly, perusing the store before making a decision. “D’you like chocolate?”

Andrey made a confused noise, caught off guard. “Do I- yes? I like chocolate.”

“Good.” Ippolit said seriously, settling on one of the boxes of chocolates in the shop, and pulling his wallet out to pay for it, a smile spreading across his face. 

“There a store name I can pull up outside of?” He asked by way of replying. Ippolit hummed a no, sticking the bag into his own backpack and heading outside. I 

“On the corner.” He hummed. Andrey pulled the car up, tapping out the residue of his nervous energy on the steering wheel as he watched for the eldest Kuragin. Ippolit recognized the car and watched it for a second before he walked up and slid into the passenger’s seat, pulling his seatbelt on. He looked over at Andrey. He still had his sunglasses on, despite the sun already setting. 

“Hey there.” Andrey said, giving him a small, lopsided smile, not commenting on his choice of eyewear.

“Hi.” Ippolit replied, sniffling a little. “It’s cold out.” Andrey hummed in agreement, putting the car in drive and pulling out. 

“It is. You scared the shit out of us.” He said benignly, as if he was still talking about the weather. The the only sign of his nerves was the repeated clenching of his jaw and the tapping of his fingers. Ippolit hummed softly, not giving a proper answer; he didn’t deign it necessary. This was hardly the first time he’d done this, just upped and left. Andrey was silent, looking like he wanted to say something. Ippolit was quiet still, watching the city outside the window. 

“Where?” He said finally without looking back at Andrey, asking where he was taking him. 

“No idea.” Andrey said, taking another turn at random. “Just driving until you decide you’re ready to go home.” Ippolit let out a soft disgruntled noise but didn’t reply.

“Why? You have somewhere in mind?” Andrey pried gently, glancing at Ippolit. Ippolit shook his head, looking back outside the window, content to watch the city go by. After about an hour, the streets started to look familiar again. Andrey was circling back, albeit slowly. “It’s getting late, Ipp, i can only ignore these texts for so long.” 

Ippolit grimaced and shook his head, not answering verbally or taking his eyes off of the window. As Andrey drove closer to the house, Ippolit’s eyes began to slowly sink. He had worn himself down emotionally that day, and with cheer canceled but his repeated runs through the city, he’d managed to wear himself down physically too. By the time they reached the house, Ippolit was fast asleep, his forehead pressed against the window.  

Andrey smiled softly, touching his shoulder reluctantly to wake him up. “Hey, Ippolit?” He murmured, brushing his thumb up and down the boy’s shoulder. “Ipp, Lito, wake up, c’mon, we’re here.”

Ippolit let out a soft whine as his eyes fluttered open, sunglasses having slipped off of his nose at some point in his sleep. He blinked sleepily at Andrey, peering at him as though trying to place the face.  Andrey smiled in spite of himself, chest squeezing at the way Ippolit’s nose crinkled. In a bold move, Andrey reached over and fixed his sunglasses. “Hey there. Have a nice nap?”

Ippolit whined softly, reaching up to scrub at his eyes underneath his glasses, yawning before giving Andrey a soft pout. Andrey shook his head, smile widening before he could stop it. “Why the face, huh?” Ippolit’s pout just deepened rather than give a verbal reply. 

Andrey huffed, not angrily, more resigned. “Yeah, I feel that. C’mon. Let’s get you inside.” He unlocked the car doors with a click. Ippolit grimaced but reached out before they could get to the front door of the house, stopping Andrey. 

“Drush.” He said, using the nickname he’d heard Pierre use before. “Yours.” He handed over the bag with the chocolate, from a rather expensive chocolate store. Andrey’s mouth opened in a silent, surprised, ‘o’, and he took the bag. 

“Oh- shit. You didn’t have to do this, Ipp.” He said, the surprise giving way to something more tender. “Thank you. Really.”

Ippolit smiled sweetly, reaching for the door and pushing it open, smile dropping from his face the moment he saw his siblings. Elya looked up at him sharply, their face clearly saying, ‘really? Today?’ They had a hand on Anatole’s arm, as if they had to hold the youngest sibling in place. His face was downcast, and his hair was mussed. He picked lightly at the bandages covering his fingers. Andrey skirted around the three and into the living room where Pierre and Mary sat. Pierre wrapped his arm around Andrey, kissing his head gently. 

Ippolit studied his siblings for a second before walking towards the stairs without saying a word or meeting their eyes. Elya swore and whirled around, tears welling up in their eyes. “Really, Lito?” They said, leaving Anatole’s side to chase him upstairs. Anatole sagged against the wall, letting out a half sob. Ippolit didn’t stop walking up the stairs, slamming the door to  _ his _ bedroom before Elya could stop him, his bedroom and not the one they often shared that had been Elya’s originally. 

Elya stopped, frozen except for the quiet sobs that bubbled up and out of them. They pressed a hand to their mouth and took a deep breath. “What the fuck.” They whispered. “What the fuck is  _ wrong  _ with us.”

Ippolit dropped his bag roughly to the floor and slowly sat down, unlacing his shoes with a slow, methodical ease, as though he were unbothered by his emotions, tucking his shoes neatly against the wall and sinking down onto his bed, staring at the wall, silent. 

Anatole slowly pushed off of the wall, walking down into the cellar without a word to the Bolkonsky’s or Pierre, shutting the door so softly that, if they hadn’t been looking, they wouldn’t have noticed him go. It was so unlike him, and Mary made to follow him, but Andrey grabbed her wrist. 

“Let him go Mash. This isn’t our world, they’ll figure it out.” He said, then stood, pulling her and Pierre up after himself. It was late, and auditions were mere hours away. As much as he wanted to stay, he couldn’t. “We’ll let Marya know. But that’s all we can do.” He said, handing her jacket to her with a soft smile. Pierre followed after, kissing Mary’s head gently, nudging her out the door lightly. 

“C’mon, Mash, let’s go home.” He said quietly. “Drush, I’ll  drive, you look exhausted.” Andrey smiled, nodding at him gratefully. 

“I’m fucking drained. Thank you, love.” He sat in back with his little sister after pressing a kiss to Pierre’s lips. “Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

The moment you’ve all been waiting for. Emmy: The Web Series, still without a better name, has been completely cast. Congratulations to all involved, and thank you to those of you who added your blogs to the list of things we could announce when you were cast. I’ll leave it up to the dear director to announce the cast.  @StriveForGreatness , Andrey? Your turn. 

~Teddy

**_StriveForGreatness:_ **

Cast for Emmy: The Web Series-

Emmy Bent - Sonya Rostova, can be found at  @IWillFinallyStopRunning

Andi Bent - Ippolit Kuragin, can be found at  @InflictYourMindOnMine

Max Cohn - Pierre Bezukhov, can be found at  @OhDearGodImAFuckingMess

Jacob Roberts - Andrey Bolkonsky, my blog is this one

Renee Roberts - Marya Bolkonskaya, can be found at her art blog  @HowWillYouGrieveForMe , or her personal blog,  @YouNeedToTakeCareOfYourself

Danica Roberts - Natalya Rostova, who asked not to be located by her blog

Haze - Fyodor Dolokhov, who can be found at his personal blog  @RestorativePropertiesOfTheOcean

Congratulations to all who made it, and thank you to all of you who auditioned. Just because you didn’t make the main cast doesn’t mean we might not reach out for extras or smaller roles as the series goes on.

~Andrey

 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine sent a post to StriveForGreatness_ **

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Really?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Uhhhhhhh, what?

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Andi? I got Andi?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** That…. is what you auditioned for, is it not?

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Well, yeah, I just.

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Kinda assumed I wouldn’t get it ‘cause I wouldn’t let Pierre touch me. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Well okay

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Here’s the thing.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I gave you two five minutes alone to work something out, and both of you did that and THEN some. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I would be a fucking idiot not to cast you after that 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** thank you

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** toto was…. Concerned that that would be an issue

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** it’s normally not that bad i don’t know what happened.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Don’t worry about it :) 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** not to derail but…

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** How is he? How are all of you? 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** He’s been avoiding me and I’ve been worried tbh

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** We’re okay

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** He’s upset with me but he’ll be over it in like, two days.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oh okay, that’s good 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Shit, I mean I think that’s good??? Sorry 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** He and Elya both have the same temper. I’m used to it. They both get over things quickly. 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** And Elya’s not allowed to be mad at me, Marya never lets them. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Ah

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Got it

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Marya won’t let Elya throw me if they’re mad at me, so. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I… that's also good? 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** “Cheer is more important than your petty fights, get over it, kuragine.” is what Marya said. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** You guys don’t like… talk it out?

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Anatole doesn’t like loud voices and Elya’s prone to yelling when they’re mad. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oh

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** That’s not very healthy

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Sorry it’s not my business, disregard that 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** It’s okay.

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** We don’t talk much outside of the family so I’m probably a little rambly. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** It’s okay I don’t mind at all :) 

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Promise?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Promise.

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** okay. :)

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** So… hi?

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ **  Hi. :)

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Shit, sorry, Mary’s calling me I gtg. Catch you later?

**_InflictYourMindOnMine:_ ** Sure.

  
  


**_StriveForGreatness sent a screenshot_ **

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I’m going to die. I know this is like, Anatole levels of dramatics but, I am going to literally die :’)

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** I was going to say, melodramatic much?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Pierre please help me

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Okay but for real I found something sort of alarming out and like. It’s not healthy. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And I’m genuinely afraid that if the three of us become a thing it’s going to be a problem. 

**_StriveForGreatness sent a screenshot_ **

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** They just. Don’t talk, love. And with the two of us and the fact that we work so well BECAUSE we talk shit out. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And maybe I’m overthinking this but. I think it’s a problem either way. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** Sounds to me from what he said that Marya is the main issue in the lack of communication. They likely would talk to each other if Marya didn’t force the issues down. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** He’s an adult, just like you, and just like me. He’s fully capable of learning, and even if he isn’t, then we’ll make decisions based on that. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** But it genuinely sounds to me like it’s on Marya. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Guess I’ll die then

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** But, is it too much to like, mention to Marya that maybe they need to work their problems out for themselves without her intervention?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** That looks like a death sentence oh Christ.

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** I’ll talk to my sister but I can’t make any promises, love. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** You all managing at home without me? It’s my fucking luck that you all get sick two days after auditions. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Yeah we’re fine  <3 Dont worry. Masha’s just sleeping curled up in your chair like she usually is on sick days. Fedya is bitching at me from whatever class he can manage it.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And I’ve been writing stuff for Fedya.

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** I’ll pick up some soup and bread on my way home, make grilled cheese for dinner. I can get meds too, if we need more. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** Basically, send me the grocery list, I’ll run them after school. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I texted it to you, thank you Petrushka 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** Course, love. 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** Anything else we need? Or that I can do from school?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** No, but your company is greatly appreciated while you can manage it.

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** <3

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** You got it. I’ve got French and then a free period so you have my full attention.

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** “Pierre, you have to take a language. Let’s pretend we didn’t know that you lived in France for fourteen years of your life and put you in French.”

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oh for god’s sake at least pretend to be happy about the easy 5

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** But I’m booooooored. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oh, perfect! I’ll just tell Fedya to bother you instead :)

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** He’s in my class. Shhhhh. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Oops my fingers slipped :)))))

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Love you, darling!

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** You bastard I thoght you loved me. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** *thought :) and I do :) 

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut made a photo post_ **

here have some [decidedly dark, oops] doodles from these past few days. 

_ #i should be back for now :), #uiggkgkgkgk, #emmy, #last read at, #tw gore, #its light but stay safe kids :)), #sorry for the radio silence ahaha _

 

**_AGhostOrRather messaged you_ **

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Hey.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Haven’t heard from you in a bit

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** You okay?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hey fedya 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** if you want my honest answer? nah. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Anything I can do?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** nah man. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** unless u got tips for explaining to people who can be out why not being out is stressful and you shouldn’t be called stupid for being afraid :)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fuck nvm it’s stupid

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Hey

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Shouldn’t be called stupid for being afraid. :)

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I can’t say I can help, because I don’t know this other person, nor their situations, but have you tried just… explaining it? In simple words? Just explain what it’s like. The stress, the anxiety, the constant ‘does someone know, I’m fucked if someone knows’ that goes through your head.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Out people, and people who can be out and proud, never get it. And they never will. But it doesn’t mean that they can’t understand. Or at least try to. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** me, stepping out of class in case I cry

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** That was really well put

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ah, the waterworks

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** and im not sure if i can. but like, I can try? thank you :’)

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Of course. :)  <3 Take care of yourself, Alyosha. You come first. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** And hey, I get it. Until my parents passed away, I couldn’t be out. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** So I get it. I’m here if you need to talk. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** damn, that’s rough though? 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but thank you, for the offer and 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** for the help :)  <333

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** <33 let me know how it goes?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Y’know what, fuck it

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** 3968058\. Text me. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh, well jesus

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i Uh.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you don’t even know my real name my guy

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i could be some murderer 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** You know like half my friends, dude. I trust Andrey, Pierre, Sonya, and Mary. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Well, less so Andrey and Sonya, but don’t tell them that. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** the feelings mutual on that front, though lol

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** thanks :) 

 

**_Unknown Number_ **

**_> 1:15pm_ **

hey this is alyosha, just so you can save my number :) 

**_> 1:16pm_ **

but also because menthive takes up an inane amount of data and my dad may actually scalp me if i go over it again 

**_Number saved as Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:17pm_ **

Hey!

**_> 1:17pm_ **

Let’s avoid getting scalped, yes. Good idea.  ****

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:18pm_ **

that would put a significant damper on my art production lmao

**_> 1:19pm_ **

you have classes today? i heard the Bolkonsky clan is out sick 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:19pm_ **

Unfortunately. 

**_> 1:20pm_ **

“It’s only a cold, Fedya, you can go to school.”

**_> 1:21pm_ **

How about fuck you, Andrey, you sniffly motherfucker. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:22pm_ **

hah!! fucking sounds like Marya D 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:23pm_ **

Really?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:24pm_ **

her and the ppl on that cheer team haha

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:25pm_ **

Tbh cheerleaders scare me so i avoid them

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:26pm_ **

i hang around Elena Kuragina sometimes

**_> 1:27pm_ **

there’s no end to the bitching

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:28pm_ **

Tbh i don’t really spend time around the kuragins? 

**_> 1:28pm_ **

Like everyone knows who they are

**_> 1:29pm_ **

And ipp’s in a bunch of my classes and he’s great, i love him

**_> 1:30pm_ **

But it just seems like a can of issues i don’t want to be involved with

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:31pm_ **

ipp’s a sweetheart :) 

**_> 1:32pm_ **

but i don’t blame you lmao

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:33pm_ **

He really is a sweetheart. Found out when my birthday was and brought me a gift. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:34pm_ **

that seems like something he would absolutely do im not at all surprised

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:34pm_ **

He’s so sweet

**_> 1:35pm_ **

I’m excited to work with him. I saw his screen tests, he’s a good actor. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:35pm_ **

Elena told me he was over the fucking MOON about it. he’s so happy 

**_> 1:36pm_ **

and yeah. guys got talent. we tried to get him to come to MPA but he kept refusing. cheer and all that :/

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:37pm_ **

Something tells me you’ll never get him

**_> 1:39pm_ **

And hey, art school isn’t for all. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:40pm_ **

tru.

**_> 1:41pm_ **

the other Kuragin does though

**_> 1:42pm_ **

he was in my ink drawing class last quarter, but we never spoke

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:49pm_ **

Sorry, orchestra. Concert’s coming up and she’s breathing down our necks. 

**_> 1:50pm_ **

If I die, it’s because I’m texting when I’m supposed to be playing.

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:00pm _ **

lmao similar story over here, painting teacher is lax but the dept. head walked in

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:01pm_ **

The violins have been falling behind so luckily I have time to breathe, but Elena Kuragina and Sonya both look ready to murder someone with their violins.

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:02pm_ **

i bet they both probably could 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:03pm_ **

Probably. I’d like to not die today. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:04pm_ **

your continued existence would absolutely be a plus

**_> 2:05pm_ **

anyways how’s shit on your end?

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:06pm_ **

Orchestra’s almost over and no one’s died yet 

**_> 2:07pm_ **

That being said, I’m half certain Ippolit’s playing slightly off and then blaming the violins 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:08pm_ **

don’t mention this to anyone but that’s probably because things btwn ipp and elena are sorta tense 

**_> 2:09pm_ **

so yeah probably 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:12pm_ **

And fucking us all over with it. Sigh.

**_> 2:19pm_ **

And now I spend the period hiding from Dmitrievna

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:20pm_ **

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh why????

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:21pm_ **

Well, I have class with her. 

**_> 2:21pm_ **

And generally, she’s annoying during class.

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:40pm_ **

sorry, got sucked into my work a little there :) 

**_> 2:42pm_ **

and marya d is terrifying and terse but annoying? how friendly do you have to be with her to think of her like that??

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:43pm_ **

She plays know-it-all in class because she’s the only senior in here. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:44pm_ **

disgusting! i hate when people do that! 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:45pm_ **

God, right?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:51pm_ **

yeah :)

**_> 2:52pm_ **

im glad we met not irl, in that case

**_> 2:52pm_ **

im insufferable. not a know it all, just a peacocky asshole 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:54pm_ **

Pfft that’s fine, long as we avoid the know-it-all side. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 2:55pm_ **

you say that now lmao 

**_> 2:57pm_ **

i gotta go though, have to bang out another painting to sub in one for my ap art show

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 2:59pm_ **

The one Mary and Sonya are in, right? I can’t fucking wait 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 3:00pm_ **

hah, yeah, that one. unfortunately im pulling “where’s my ghost” last minute :/

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 3:01pm_ **

Noooooooooo i was getting so excited to see it. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 4:01pm_ **

yeah, you’re not the only one to be disappointed, which I’m flattered about 

**_> 4:02pm_ **

but i gotta do what i gotta do 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_4:21pm_ **

I expect a damn color version in my inbox then ‘cause fuck that, I wanna see that shit. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 4:22pm_ **

alright ghost man, I’ll tell you what

**_> 4:23pm_ **

not gonna interact w you there, but im gonna give a print of the final thing to Mary to give to you when you show up. hows that?

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 4:25pm_ **

Hell fucking yeah. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 4:25pm_ **

cool cool cool!!

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 4:29pm_ **

Ah shit, gotta go. Ippolit Kuragin’s ‘bout to get yelled at. This’ll be interesting. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 4:30pm_ **

oh fuck?! fill me in later?

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 5:30pm_ **

Class after school t e c h n i c a l l y starts at 4:45 but we always start at 4:15 because “how do you expect us to get through all American literature in 30 minutes?” Ippolit walked in late with a hickey on his neck. Poor kid. Love him. Poor kid.

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 5:31pm_ **

  1. my fucking. no he did NOT. 



**_> 5:32pm_ **

brb gotta commit double homicide :))

 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:30pm**

ippolit. papa is getting home tonight you better hope Elya is feeling merciful so that they’ll cover up your fucking hickey :) 

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:21pm**

:(

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:22pm**

not telling how i know. still mad at you. but lito 

**> 5:23pm**

what were you thinking?!

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:24pm**

Dunno. 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:25pm**

im skipping my lesson with Pierre to come and cover it. 

**> 5:26pm**

i have extra foundation in my bag for God knows why. not even my fucking skin tone. I’ll be outside of the locker room when u get out

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:27pm**

What if i don’t wanna?

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:27pm**

you know he’s not going to be at all pleased, lito 

**> 5:28pm**

im worried, okay??

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:29pm**

Not gonna cover it. 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:30pm**

guess ill just go Fuck myself then. :)

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:31pm**

Or ask fedya :)

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:32pm**

don’t. im really this fucking close Ippolit. just because Marya keeps a collar on Elya doesn’t mean that i can’t be angry enough for the both of us. fuck this. 

**> 5:33pm **

leave me the fuck alone

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:34pm**

Don’t like fighting :(

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:35pm**

yeah? well fighting is what happens when you don’t talk about your problems. but you don’t talk to us either. you just run away and let us worry about you to the point of tears and pretend everything’s fine the next morning. so now it’s at this point. i don’t like it either, but here we are.

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:36pm**

Toto…. 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:37pm**

what, Ippolit

**big bro <3<3<3**

**> 5:38pm**

I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. 

**Puppy Toto**

**> 5:39pm**

oh my fucking god! don’t fucking condescend me. this isn’t just about you. this is about your siblings who you’re supposed to care about since aline is dead and vasili is a dick and just generally because we fucking care about you 

**> 5:40pm**

Christ, ipp


	10. Chapter Ten

Pierre awoke with a start, slapping at the side table as though to hit an alarm clock before he groaned, dropping his head back onto the pillow. “Love,” he grumbled, nudging Andrey. “Love, tha’s your phone.”

Andrey swatted at Pierre, grumbling back, but flipped onto his back, checking his phone. He frowned, shooting a worried look at Pierre, and picked up. “Hello? Ipp’lit?” He said, his voice scratchy from sleep.  Pierre shifted immediately, awake and alert the second the name left Andrey’s mouth, pointing at his ear to signify he wanted to hear. Andrey tapped the speakerphone button. 

“Drush?” Ippolit’s voice was soft, nearly a whisper, and his voice was hoarse, as though he’d been crying. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. What’s going on?” Andrey asked, moving to sit against the headboard. Pierre shifted as well, reaching for his glasses to shove them onto his face quickly. Andrey rolled his eyes.

“Jus’ wanted to hear your- voice.” Ippolit said after a pause, a rustling noise the only hint that he was moving, and the soft click of a door quickly followed by more rustling was the only hint that he was hiding in his closet. “N’Pierre?”

“He’s right here. He can hear you too. That okay?” Andrey ran a hand over his face. Ippolit gave a hum of confirmation, settling in the corner of his closet. 

“Hey, Lito.” Pierre said quietly, letting out a soft sigh. “Everything okay? I know you were stressed earlier…” Ippolit didn’t answer. Andrey glanced at Pierre.

“You sound like you’ve been crying, you don’t have to pretend, Ipp.” Andrey’s voice was soft. Ippolit sniffled softly before nodding. 

“Papa came home.” He said quietly. “For the- the first time in a few months.” Pierre sighed again. He’d heard, between Ippolit earlier, and Marya, how badly Vasily treated his children. Andrey looked confused. 

“I understand, Lito but- don’t Elena and Anatole usually- don’t the three of you have each other’s backs when he’s around?  Where are they?” Andrey pried. 

“Anatole’s room” Ippolit rubbed at his eyes, leaning against his wall, feeling out the floor for the stuffed animal he’d hidden there when they’d gotten the voicemail telling them their father would be returning home for a bit. “He- he wasn’t happy ‘bout the hickey. Or that I’m on the cheer team n’not a ‘real sport.’ N’that I’m still gay. And-” Ippolit cut himself off, shaking his head. 

“Shh, I know, I know, Lito,” Andrey soothed. His hand found Pierre’s on the comforter and he squeezed. His face looked pained. “I thought Anatole was going to cover that for you? And you know Vasili doesn’t know a damn thing about you? Yeah?”

Ippolit tugged the small stuffed bear closer to his chest and pressed his face to the top of it. “Told Ana-Anatole not to.” He said finally. “Better mad at me than- than them. Not going to hurt me.”

“I- what? Who’s ‘them’? Anatole texted me saying that he was going to?” Andrey looked at Pierre, confused. Pierre had inhaled sharply at Ippolit’s sentence. 

“He told Anatole not to cover it because it would direct the attention at him and not his siblings. Right, Lito?” Ippolit hummed in confirmation. Pierre chewed on his bottom lip, squeezing Andrey’s hand. 

‘That doesn’t make sense?’ Andrey mouthed to Pierre. Pierre shook his head, briefly taking the phone to take Ippolit off of speaker and to cover the microphone. 

“He’s supposedly their father’s favorite. Supposedly being the key word. If the anger is directed at him, Vasily would leave Anatole and Elena alone long enough for them to find a place to hide away from his sight.” Pierre spoke softly and quickly. “And because Ippolit is supposedly the favorite, Vasily thinks twice before putting his hands on him.”

Andrey looked nauseated at this new information, shaking his head. “You talk for a little bit. I can’t.” He choked out, rubbing at his eyes, jaw set. Pierre pulled Andrey close and tucked him up against his chest, kissing his head, before holding the phone up to his ear. 

“Still here, Lito?” Ippolit hummed. “Hey, what can we do to help, darling?” Ippolit didn’t reply immediately, but when he did, he was audible, even having been taken off of speaker. 

“Like it when you call me that.” 

A grin widened on Pierre’s face, and he looked down at Andrey, nudging him gently. Andrey smiled up at him, raising his eyebrows. He tilted his chin slightly, encouraging Pierre. 

“Alright, darling,” Pierre said, his voice dropping a bit unintentionally, kissing Andrey’s head softly. “What can we do, darling?” Ippolit hesitated, considering it before he spoke.

“Free period t’morrow, milkshakes?” Pierre looked down at Andrey, before pausing. 

“Y’know what? French isn’t that important I’ll skip it and come spend the free period with the both of you.”

Andrey rolled his eyes, leaning up to press a kiss on Pierre’s cheek. “You big fucking softie.” He muttered, grinning.

“For you two, absolutely.” Pierre agreed, shifting his arm to run his fingers lightly through Andrey’s hair. “He called me a softie.” He added, into the phone for Ippolit. Ippolit smiled and made a gentle noise. Pierre pulled the phone away and put it back on speakerphone. 

“You think you can head back to bed?” Andrey asked. 

“Wasn’t in bed.” Ippolit said after a long minute of silence. “Only just stopped yelling at me.”

Andrey shook his head, swallowing. “I know the feeling. Maybe go get in bed with Elena and Anatole? That’s what you usually do, yeah?”

“Locked me out.” Ippolit shook his head, swallowing heavily that time in an attempt to fight back tears. Andrey shared a worried look with Pierre. 

“That’s- that’s not right. Maybe they’re waiting for you to knock?” He asked, alert again, ready to move into action. His fingers tapped against his leg. Pierre moved his free hand, curling his fingers loosely around Andrey’s, not stopping him but a gentle grounding presence. 

“Uh uh.”Ippolit shook his head no. “Still mad at me, don’t want to talk to me. Don’t really want to talk to them.” Pierre frowned. Andrey’s lips pressed into a thin line. He looked almost murderous in the soft glow of the phone screen. 

“Hey, Lito?” Pierre said slowly. “Do you want us to come pick you up?” He looked at Andrey, as if seeking a quick confirmation that the offer was okay. Andrey nodded, slumping back and rubbing at his face. Pierre kissed him, giving him a knowing look. 

Ippolit didn’t speak for a long minute, but he finally said, “Please?” in a very soft voice. Andrey sniffed, smiling softly despite his frustration and sadness. 

“Pierre’s gonna get you, and I’m gonna keep the bed warm.” He said, kissing Pierre then shifting to let him up. 

“Gimme like four minutes to put clothes on and get into the car, Lito, okay?” Pierre said warmly. “And Andrey’ll stay on the phone with you while I’m on my way.” He rolled out of bed and grabbed the nearest hoodie, knowing fully well no one in the house actually owned a hoodie that fit them besides himself (they all just stole from his closet), and pulled it over his head, tugging his hair back to just tie it back rather than deal with the disaster of curls.

“He’s getting dressed, and he looks like a bum.” Andrey narrated with a smile.

Pierre had his car keys and was out the door in about four minutes, as promised, promising to send a text message when he was close by. Andrey alternated between asking Ippolit casual questions and singing to him softly all the while, only hanging up when Ippolit was safely with Pierre. 

Fedya Dolokhov was confused. Plainly and truly confused. There was an absurd abundance of freckles in the kitchen, and he wanted answers and coffee, though not in that order. “What the fuck,” he announced eloquently, dropping into his seat at the table, marking his sitting down with a sneeze directed into the crook of his elbow. 

“Good morning to you too, son.” Pierre said, patting his head lightly before brushing by. “Andrusha, darling, pour him some coffee? Masha, set the table, please. Sonyushka-”

“No” Sonya grumbled, sinking further into her chair. Mary pulled her back up, smiling sweetly. “You sleep over, you help. Come on.”

“Sonyushka, sit there and look pretty.”

“No.” Sonya repeated, flipping off Ippolit when he laughed, light and easy, clearly more relaxed than he had been the night before. Pierre paused, glancing at Ippolit, and then at Andrey, before he grinned and leaned over, stealing a kiss from the eldest Kuragin. Ippolit froze, caught off guard, but kissed Pierre back once he’d caught himself and smiled broadly when he was let go. 

“Pancakes, kiddos?” Pierre asked, unable to hide a shit-eating grin. Andrey swatted him with a towel and set a mug in front of Fedya. Pierre wrapped his arm around Andrey’s waist and stole a quick kiss from him too. 

“Is there sugar in that?” Sonya eyed the mug of coffee. Fedya squinted at her and nodded. She snorted. “Fucking weakling.” Andrey threw the towel at her face, kissing Ippolit as he passed. 

“Behave you goblin.” He said. Ippolit let out a soft surprised noise, though his grin only widened. Sonya picked the towel up threateningly, stopping only when Mary took it from her. 

“Baaaaaaby, don’t stop me from maiming your brother.” Sonya whined. Mary giggled, moving to wrap her arms around Fedya from behind. 

“I have to! Who else is going to save him from his two princes?” She winked, bopping Fedya on the nose with a little, “boop!” before moving to get silverware. Fedya grimaced at her, but finally semi-human, nodded his head in greeting at Ippolit. Ippolit beamed back. 

“Pancakes?” Pierre prompted again at the group. Ippolit nodded, curling his legs up to his chest. 

“Pancakes.” Fedya and Sonya chorused in agreement. Mary said it too, just a moment too late and blushed. Andrey ruffled her hair. 

“Pancakes it is then,” he confirmed. Pierre grinned and turned back to the stove, setting it up to make pancakes, handing over a series of fruits to Andrey to cut up and make breakfast for them. 

“Lito, you feelin’ up to helping?” Pierre said, pausing when Ippolit seemed to teleport next to him, smiling eagerly. “Awesome, think you can help Drush cut those up?” Ippolit nodded and moved to Andrey’s side to help cut the fruit, his cuts bordering on perfectly even and neat. Mary crept up behind him silently, watching with little satisfied nods as each slice tipped to the side. Andrey beamed.

Pierre began to work on the pancake batter, and within minutes, was easily flipping pancakes, setting stacks of four or five on a plate to pass off to Ippolit and Andrey to hand out to the group at the table, Ippolit following Pierre’s orders and getting several things of syrup out of the fridge, settling down himself when pushed down by Andrey. 

Breakfast went smoothly, the banter light-hearted and gentle, for the most part, the only two really picking at each other Sonya and Fedya, as per usual. They split up into their usual groups to get to school- Fedya choosing to take the bus, Sonya and Mary piling into the backseat of Pierre’s car with Andrey, Ippolit sitting up front by Pierre himself.

Anatole and Elya stayed by each other's sides as much as possible that next day, as if staying together would fill the ache of Ippolit’s absence. They had left countless texts and voicemails on his phone, and when the read receipt came, they stopped, resigned. Elya had to convince Anatole not to skip his communications class, promising that their anxiety wouldn’t get the best of them in his short absence. Finally, Anatole left their side, and they made their way stiffly to their free period. 

Pierre had the same free period, the one directly after Ippolit and Andrey’s. He settled towards the side of the classroom used for the students with free periods whom the administration trusted to not fuck over the school, the bag of McDonald’s, and a Baskin-Robbin’s milkshake sitting next to the food. He was picking his way through a carton of french fries when Elya slammed their bag down next to him. Pierre started and looked over at them, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Where he was popular enough, amongst the art kids, Elya was popular with the, well, actually popular kids. Pierre had never interacted with them before in his life. “Uh, hi?” He said slowly, closing his laptop slowly, picking at the corner of one of the rainbow stickers peeling off of the laptop. 

“Did Ippolit leave with you last night?” Elya said in a quiet, rushed breath. Their bottom lip was red from biting it, and their face was pale. Pierre opened his mouth, regarding them, before sliding the french fries towards them. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out, eat something.” He said finally. “Yes, Ippolit was with me and Andrey.” Elya sank into the seat next to him, shoulders slumping. They ate a few fries, then sighed, pushing them back to Pierre. 

“We’re fighting, but I couldn’t sleep last night. I had to stop Anatole from going at Papa. He’s the only one he’ll hit. And he was so  _ angry _ .” Elya said in a rush, just above a whisper. They didn’t meet Pierre’s eyes. Pierre reached over, gently brushing his fingers over her hand. 

“If you want to nap, you can.” He offered gently, at her, a smile directed at her. “Ippolit…. Told us a little bit. Not much, he didn’t want to talk much, but he told us some. You’re all really brave.”

Elya let out a humorless laugh. “If I was brave I’d have tied Anatole to the bed and gone down to take Lito’s place.” They said, but clutched at Pierre’s hand as if to ground themself. Pierre shifted in his chair to give them a gentle hug, after pausing to check if they were okay with it. 

“You defended your baby brother.” Pierre whispered to them. “That’s brave in itself, I can promise you that.” He smiled. Elya hugged him back for a brief moment, before taking a shaky breath and pulling away. 

“Thank you. I- didn’t mean to say any of that.” They said, flashing him a sheepish smile. Pierre waved his hand with a soft laugh. 

“Anything for the twin sister of my boyfriend.” 

Elya flinched. “I…” they searched Pierre’s face. “Twin sibling.” They said tentatively. “I’m not- not his sister.” Pierre made a soft noise of understanding. 

“I’m sorry. His twin sibling.” He corrected himself simply. He gave them a gentle smile. “What pronouns should I use in reference to you? And, ah, do you have a name you prefer instead of Elena?” 

“Elya.” They said, smiling slowly. “And they/them please. Not- obviously not outside of my siblings yet, but- that’d be cool.” 

“You got it, Elya.” Pierre said, pausing before speaking. “May I tell Andrey, at the very least? He’d understand, and he’s dating Ippolit too, so-” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “He’d understand.” He settled on finally repeating. Elya considered, then nodded. 

“Yes- that would be nice.” They smiled. “Thank you, Pierre.” 

“You’re quite welcome, Elya.” Pierre said warmly. “Eat another fucking french fry.”

Pierre’s next interaction as decidedly less pleasant, as he grabbed Anatole’s collar and hauled him to the back of the bus, rarely where Pierre spent time, and far enough away from the driver to not be yelled at. “You-” Pierre struggled to find a proper word to call him. He paused, glancing outside the window, where Ippolit had walked Andrey to the bus and stolen a quick kiss, wiggling his fingers at Pierre, before heading back into the school, letting Andrey board the bus. 

“You.” Pierre repeated, turning his glare back on Anatole. Anatole looked at him with wide eyes, confused and frightened. 

“Me? I- what?” He stammered, trying to struggle away. Pierre tightened his grip on Anatole’s jacket and shoved him against the back of the seat. 

“Do you know how fucking much you hurt him?” Pierre demanded, voice dropping to speak quietly, though his voice no less firm or angry. “Do you know how fucking  _ terrified _ he was?”

Anatole’s lip curled. “I did everything I  _ fucking _ could- it’s not my fault- Ely- Lena locked me in a closet.” Anatole tried to pry Pierre’s fingers off of himself as he writhed. “I tried to help him cover up the mark that  _ you _ left- and he refused- and he won’t  _ let us help _ .” Pierre scoffed softly. 

“So you locked him out of your room, where he would go to  _ either of you _ to hide? He was crying when we picked him up, Kuragin. What did you, or Elya, gain out of locking the only thing, only  _ person _ defending you from your father out? Is he supposed to fucking take it by himself?” 

Tears had started to form in Anatole’s eyes. “ _ I didn’t lock the door _ .” He said through gritted teeth. “I tried like  _ hell  _ to help- neither of them  _ let me _ .” He kicked out at Pierre. “Lena said we had to just wait for him to come up- and he  _ didn’t. _ And then he was  _ gone. _ ” 

“He didn’t come up?” Pierre scoffed. “He called us crying from his closet, where he was  _ hiding _ , Kuragin. Where he was fucking hoping no one would find him.” 

“We didn’t know that, Pierre! We didn’t know and I  _ couldn’t _ have known and when one of us takes a hit we go to where the other too are hiding. He  _ didn’t come. _ ” Anatole kicked out again, catching Pierre’s ribs with his knee. He paled and went still, eyes widening. Pierre growled under his breath and made as if to move, suddenly freezing, turning his head towards Andrey. Anatole curled in on himself, making a soft, helpless noise.

“Love, no, wait.” Pierre suddenly pulled away, reaching for Andrey. “Baby, I’m not gonna hurt him, love, baby.” Pierre stopped before touching Andrey, holding his hands up. “Love, I’m not gonna touch you, Andrey, baby, hey, can you look at me?”

Andrey had turned away from Pierre, his eyes shut tight. “Not- not right now.” He said, the words choked. He braced his hands against his seat, holding onto it as he would have held tight to Pierre. Pierre sat back, in the seat across from Andrey. 

“Okay. What- What can I do? What can- Should I call Mary?”

“No.” Andrey said shortly. “Just- be quiet. If I need her I’ll call.” He opened his eyes just to turn on music and plug his headphones in, blocking out his boyfriend. Vaska slipped from his seat a few rows up and sat down next to Andrey, not quite touching him but boxing him in, providing a barrier between Andrey and Pierre. He ignored Pierre for the most part, his focus on Andrey, a gentle smile directed at him when Andrey looked at him. Andrey managed a small smile in response, hoping to convey how thankful he was.

Anatole uncurled, trembling and pale, tears escaping his eyes, though he tried to blink them away. He couldn’t breathe, his chest was heaving, but he couldn’t  _ breathe _ .


	11. Chapter Eleven

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:35pm_ **

help

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:35pm_ **

I’m here, what’s up?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:36pm_ **

had a run in with pi

**_> 12:36pm_ **

can’t breathe

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:37pm_ **

Alyosha, listen to me. Take a deep breath. You can take a deep breath. 

**_> 12:37pm_ **

Okay? You can take a deep breath 

**_> 12:38pm_ **

Yoshi, tell me five things you can hear. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:38pm_ **

wind, engine, someone’s eating chips, people talking, cars passing

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:38pm_ **

Tell me four things you can see

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:39pm_ **

bus seat, buildings, your icon, bruises

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:40pm_ **

Tell me three things you can smell.

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:40pm_ **

sibling’s perfume, bus smell, rain

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:40pm_ **

Two things you can taste. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:41pm_ **

bit my lip too hard so. blood. peppermint.

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:42pm_ **

One thing you can touch. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:42pm_ **

Pen

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:42pm_ **

How’re you feeling, Yoshi?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:43pm_ **

little better, thank you so fucking much

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:43pm_ **

<3 Told you I was here, didn’t I?

**_> 12:44pm_ **

I am serious You ever need, you shoot me a message. I don’t really sleep, so I’m almost always available. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:44pm_ **

i really appreciate it though. like, a lot.

**_> 12:45pm_ **

sleep is rough. you got insomnia too?

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:46pm_ **

Yep. Severe shit. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:46pm_ **

mine varies on like a weekly basis but that Sucks man

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:47pm_ **

Y’know how, like, they’ve done studies that show you can go six months without sleeping before FFI kills you, but you start hallucinating after 11 days?

**_> 12:47pm_ **

Can say from experience that hallucinations start around 10 days. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:48pm_ **

well fuck, fedya 

**_> 12:49pm_ **

you hit that point a lot? 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:49pm_ **

Only at really low points. I haven’t been there in about two years, thank God. 

**_> 12:50pm_ **

it’s 2-3 days most of the time. 4 if I’m having a particularly bad month. For example, today is day 3, but I’ll probably sleep tonight. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:51pm_ **

well I hope for the sake of your two year streak (and your general health) that you do 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:52pm_ **

Thanks :)

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:52_ **

‘course :) <3

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 12:53pm_ **

You gonna be okay for the day?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 12:57pm _ **

yeah. not going to art school. Wandering the city now 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:00pm_ **

You want a place to just chill?

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:00pm_ **

...why?

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:01pm_ **

Because there’s an empty, if poorly furnished, house that I technically own that I never go to if you need to just get away. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:02pm_ **

and you… won’t be there?

**_> 1:03pm_ **

because fuck yes i just need to go somewhere alone and be able to cry

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:04pm_ **

I’m at school till 6 and then I have a doc appointment and then updates to publish. So nope, not Gonna be around. 

**_> 1:05pm_ **

I’ll send you the address on MH, along with where the key is. 

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:06pm_ **

you’re a godsend, thank you so, so much

**_> 1:07pm_ **

found it, and the key. im shutting my phone off for a while so i can be, yknow, alone :) 

**_Ghostie <3_ **

**_> 1:08pm_ **

Be safe and take care of yourself, Yoshi. :) <3

**_Yoshi :)))))))_ **

**_> 1:08pm_ **

thanks ghostie, for everything <3<3 i will :)

  
  


**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** If Pierre and I are weird when we get home, yes something did happen

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Anything I can do?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** No, I just wanted to let you know 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** He went off on Anatole Kuragin and made to hit him and I’m doing my best to process it

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Got it, got it. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** So nothing you’re going to openly admit I can do

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** But if I were to, say, set out that one blanket you really like, and turn on the Bee movie, and make tea, it’d be appreciated. Gotcha. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** You’re an asshole

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** But you’re also dead on the nose, thank you Fedya 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** And I’ll convince Mary to make dinner so you two can have some time apart. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Mary doesn’t need to stay away, I just need space, I think. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I feel so fucking bad that I froze up and let it happen. And Pierre only stopped because of me. Like, he would have done it, Fedya

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** And now you’re getting a timeout

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** You know the rules of the house, dad, you made them

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** you blame yourself, you get a timeout. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** What are you talking about? 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** After my mom and dad died. You said I blame myself, I get my phone taken away for the night. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Rules still stand. You blame yourself for something that isn’t your fault, phone goes bye bye. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Gimme your phone when you get home. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Jesus Christ

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Fine, you can take my damn phone when I get home. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** ... Thank you though

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** <3

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Tell ya what. I was gonna publish later but I could use a second eye over the chapter. Think you could edit for me?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** God fucking yes

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I texted Mary to let her know what happened, please go check on her for me

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Already there. On the bus with her

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Thank you so much 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** She’s my sister too, basically. You’re all family. Of course. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Yeah I know but

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Let me show my appreciation for my own son dammit

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Show appreciation with editing and brownies later on. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Done and done

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Thank u dad love you <333 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I love you too son :’)))) <333

  
  


**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently messaged StriveForGreatness_ **

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** Heard some things. You okay?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Depends on who told you and what you know, frankly

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** What did you hear?

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** You and my baby bro had a fight, you have a lot of what the Kuragins do. 

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** think you can spare me a talk about the show?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** It was Pierre who had the run in, Anatole and I just paid for it

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** But yes 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** I will warn you that once I get home Fedya is taking my phone. Family rules, self flagellation=phone taken. So about 40 minutes, more or less. 

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** Gotcha, gotcha. Taking your laptop too?

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Not entirely sure, it’s Fedya

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Anyway, show shit

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently: [photo]_ ** So it’s a rough sketch and I can’t draw people for shit, but I raided Elena’s closet and found this old almost suit-like thing that I can get tailored to Fedya for Haze. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Holy fucking shit Marya 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Send pics

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently: [photo]_ ** That’s it on Elena, but I can tailor it, easy, to Fedya. He’s a little shorter than her, but honestly, between her muscle mass and Fedya’s lack of, it should fit him. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** It’s so fucking perfect. Do you know if Elena is okay with that?

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** More than. She’s been working as my assistant. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** God, fuck, you’re brilliant

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Also btw, Elya came out to Pierre and me before shit went to hell 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** So we can drop the misgendering them

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** Oh thank fuck, it’s fucking painful.

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** They’ve been working as my assistant, since they have Ippolit’s measurements and whatnot. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** That’s so much better holy shit

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** And that’s perfect, thank u so much

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** Yep yep. Get us your all’s measurements ASAP and Elya and I’ll go shopping this weekend for costumes. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Great, let me know if you have any questions or anything.

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** Nah, I got this. Just measurements and I’ll show up this weekend for the first reading to get quick pictures of them in costume and whatnot. Could use them as promos if everything fits properly. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Thank god for that because I am, as everyone likes to remind me, “entirely incapable of dressing myself well unless I’m putting on a suit.” 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** That was said by Anatole, by the way. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** How is he?

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** No idea, haven’t seen him. Elya’s the only one in contact with him right now, and they said he’s avoiding answering questions about his well-being. 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** ?!?!?!

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** How are you not tearing out your own hair 

**_StriveForGreatness:_ ** Let me see if I can get him. 

**_BlowsOnAPinwheelGently:_ ** I trust him to be an adult, which he’s close to being. He can care for himself, if he’s out there.


	12. Chapter Twelve

“Pyotr Kirilovich!” Pierre immediately ducked behind a door at the sound of his half-sister’s voice, holding his breath. Fedya hid a grin behind his phone, struggling to keep a deadpan as Marya burst into the room and the door banged directly into Pierre and began to close again. Pierre’s immediate string of cusses was audible, only barely. “Pierre, it’s your turn to be fitted!”

“Can I request Elya does it?” Pierre asked, eyeing the scissors in Marya’s hand. 

“Not at all.” Elya called from the next room, smile evident in her voice. “I’m doing Mary.” 

“Do we need to tie him down?” Fedya asked, tilting his head up with a smile bright on his face, only to look back down when his phone dinged with another message, furiously typing a reply. 

“Is that your  _ boyfriend _ ?” Pierre teased. Fedya raised an eyebrow without looking up from his phone. 

“Even if it is, it doesn’t stop Marya from trimming your beard. And you know what, Pyotr, dearest? Tease me and I make it shorter in the show.” Marya snickered as the look of horror spread on Pierre’s face, and his hand unconsciously went to stroke the longest point of his beard. 

“Trim it! Trim it! Trim it!” Mary chanted, giggling when Elya joined in with her. Pierre let out a very long sigh but followed Marya, reluctantly, into his and Andrey’s bedroom, letting her raid his closet and pick the clothes they would start with.

It was almost noon, and Marya and Elya had been working their way through the cast from youngest to oldest, Petya and Sophie, both not even in the show for a full season, had already run through wardrobe choices with the two seniors and had a series of pictures taken in costume, both chilling on the couch in the living room with their phones and Andrey watching them. 

Natasha and Mary had been next, but Natasha had been easy, since she stood at a similar height and build to Elya, and they had just pulled Elya’s clothes for her. Her hair had taken the most time, but Fedya had been adamant that the character of Dani have natural hair, meaning they had less work now, but more when shooting came around. 

Pierre’s quiet mutterings of, “Do we have to cut it that much?” could be heard from the other room and Fedya stifled a giggle, sending a quick audio clip to Ippolit, who had a dance class to teach that morning but was going to be making his way over after he was done. Ippolit’s reply of the laughing emoji was nearly instantaneous, quickly followed by a ‘On my way’ message. 

“Hey, prettyboy. Get your ass in here with my suit.” Elya called. Fedya pulled himself up off of the couch he’d been lounging on and grabbed the hanger off of the back of the door it had been hanging on since Marya brought it, heading into the other room and handing off the suit, only to reach for the tie in his hair to let the shoulder length waves free for them to style. Elya looked him over, with an impressed smile, then yanked his pants down and wound the tape measure around his waist. “Marya love, you hadn’t mentioned.” They said without context. 

“Oh, was I supposed to?” Marya replied, levelling a look at Pierre when he tried to squirm out of her grip. “Pyotr,  _ stop _ .” He stopped moving and Marya smiled, going back to trimming the beard casually. 

Elya met Fedya’s eyes and smirked knowingly. They were fully aware that he had no idea what they were talking about. “It would have been nice when I asked for  _ details _ for my dear Toto. Do toss me the pen, love.”

Marya tossed the pen in their direction, and focused, waiting until Pierre wasn’t paying attention before she attacked his hair, fixing the haircut he’d given himself instead of spend money on a haircut like a normal human. Pierre let out a disgruntled noise, swatting in her direction before giving up, defeated. Fedya let Elya move him around, only half paying attention to their and Marya’s conversation. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Marya said, making it clear it was directed at Elya and not Pierre, as she reached for tweezers as if to do Pierre’s eyebrows. He flinched visibly. Elya rolled their eyes. 

“It’s not a big deal. In any case, he’ll get to see for himself. He dropped in on Ippolit’s dance class again today so he’ll be here soon too.” Elya said. Pierre side-eyed Elya until Marya turned her attention to his eyebrows and he flinched again. 

“I haven’t even  _ touched you _ .” Marya sighed, exasperated, flicking her brother’s ear and beginning work carefully, ignoring Pierre’s low whine in her direction. “Yes, well, it would hurt less if you even put effort into your appearance most of the time. Is he coming today?” Fedya shifted, muttering an apology when he stepped on Elya’s toe. 

Elya swore, swatting Fedya’s ass in retaliation. “Yes, he’ll probably hole himself up in Mary’s room. He’s been acting strangely about the  _ lovers _ , have you noticed?”

“I haven’t, he’s been avoiding me.” Marya hummed, looking over Pierre with a pleased hum, patting his shoulder. “We’ll do the makeup closer to the shoot, I think. You gonna sit still for me then?”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s a yes.” Marya grinned, patting Pierre’s head. “Now let’s do the rest of your hair. And he’s been avoiding me, since you three started fighting. Again.” She glanced over at Elya. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t call it  _ fighting _ , Marya.” Elya said pleasantly, though there was a warning edge in their tone. “Regardless, he’s been acting strangely around Bolkonsky and Bezukhov, so he’ll most likely make himself scarce until it’s time for us to leave.” They continued, tone unaffected once again. Marya watched Pierre’s reaction at his name, but Pierre barely blinked, holding her gaze steadily, no hesitation or defense. He stood by his actions. Elya glanced at him too, wary. Marya hummed, beginning to carefully comb through Pierre’s hair, managing the looser curls and carefully straightening them, Pierre watching in disbelief as his hair seemed to get longer, brushing the back of his neck as Marya styled it. 

“Hi, I’m here- what the fuck.” Ippolit stopped abruptly in the doorway, staring at Pierre in Marya’s seat. Pierre immediately sat up straight, almost knocking Marya over. 

“Fuck’s sake, Pyotr.” Marya shoved him back into the chair. “Ippolit, take a seat, we’ll get to you and Andrey when we’re done with these two.” Ippolit, only then, noticed Elya and Fedya. He, for the most part, ignored Elya and instead raked his eyes noticeably over Fedya before shrugging and taking a seat to wait, scrolling through his phone. Elya tried to silently catch their brother’s attention, then turned back to Fedya, looking almost defeated. 

“You’re all done. Send Andrey in when you go.” They said tersely, handing Fedya his clothes and waving him away. “Oh- and when we get closer to shooting, I’m putting red highlights in your hair instead of that tacky blue shit.” They said the last part a bit teasingly. Fedya coughed a little to hide a smile, and nodded, heading out to the other room to send Andrey in and watch the younger teenagers. Both Ippolit and Pierre tried to get Andrey’s attention when he walked in, though Pierre seemed to immediately give up and just sink down a little in his chair. 

“Oh! I didn’t see you come through, baby. Hi.” Andrey said, smiling gently and bending to press a kiss to Ippolit’s lips. Ippolit brightened, smiling brightly at Andrey. Elya smiled at the display, waving Andrey over to their station and seeming to relax when Andrey gave them a nervous smile. 

“Hey.” He said, softly to them. 

“Hi?” Elya raised an eyebrow at him, a bit confused. 

“How’s- uh, how is Anatole?” He asked tentatively. Elya looked at him sharply, then softened. 

“Shaken up. Hasn’t told us what happened yet. He thinks he’s slick.” They paused. “Please tell me you didn’t have a hand in it so I don’t have  to find an excuse to stick you with a pin.” 

Andrey chuckled quietly. “No, I didn’t. Though feel free to stick me with a pin if it will help relieve the fucking tension in this room.” Elya laughed loudly at that, pinching his side. 

“Alright, Pierre, get out of here.” Marya all but shoved him out of the room, gesturing for Ippolit to come up to her chair, which he did, settling down slowly. Andrey relaxed almost instantly. “You good with touch today, boo?” Ippolit hummed an okay, his lips twitching into a smile at the question. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Elya murmured in Andrey’s ear as they reached around his chest to take his measurements there. Andrey sighed with a resigned smile playing on his lips. 

“You could say that.” He whispered back so as not to alert Ippolit. “If you hadn’t known before, Pierre certainly had a hand in it.” He said, bitter. Elya hummed. 

“I had a feeling. I’m sorry about the whole situation.” They said, patting his cheek.

“Me too.” He said. Marya and Ippolit were both quiet, Ippolit seeming close to drifting off as Marya worked, though there wasn’t much for her to do. Ippolit was good at taking care of himself, and it was mostly measuring to stick baggy clothes on him to hide the muscles that would be the most work. Elya surprised both themself and Andrei as they pulled him into a tight, brief hug. He hugged her back, and then he was putting his clothes on and thanking her as though nothing had happened. 

Marya let Ippolit go as Elya let Andrey go, and Ippolit immediately crossed to Andrey, reaching for his hand and letting his hand gently brush Andrey’s before he took his hand, looking at him as if searching for approval. Andrey smiled and raised their entwined hands to press a kiss to his knuckles as Ippolit continued to pointedly ignore Elya. 

When the door shut behind the two, Elya swore, flinging the pen across the room. “Fuck this. Fuck all of this.” They seethed, ignoring Marya as they packed up quickly. Marya watched them for a minute before speaking. 

“What really happened, Ely, since none of you want to tell me.” She reached for Elya, tugging them into a hug and kissing their head gently. Elya stiffened, averting their eyes as not to look at Marya.

“I locked Anatole in his closet because dad was screaming and Ippolit told us to go. Anatole wanted to go back and so did I but that would have made it worse. I- locked the door until Papa stopped screaming, but Ippolit just- he just walked by the door he- didn’t even- and now he won’t talk to us.” Elya’s body shook with repressed tears, their shoulders hunched in. Marya brushed her hand gently over Elya’s hair, rocking them gently to soothe them. 

“Let’s sit down, hon.” Marya said softly, pulling them down to the couch Ippolit had been on before, still doing her best to soothe them. “Shhh, shhh, Elya, shhh, love, it’ll be okay.”

Elya pulled away, suddenly angry. “Will it? Will it really, Marya? Or will you tell me that I’m overreacting so that Ipp doesn’t have to deal with the shit on his hands? Huh?” They said, their low, dangerous tone betrayed by the tears hanging in their lashes.

“Don’t give me that tone when I’m trying to help you.” Marya replied calmly, reaching her hand out to Elya, offering it to them. “Accept my help or don’t, that’s up to you. But don’t lash out at me when it’s not me you’re upset with.”

Elya looked at the hand, then back at Marya as they wiped their eyes. “I can be upset with more than one person at a time, thanks.” They stood, swinging their bag onto their shoulder. “You didn’t answer my fucking question,  _ Mary dearest _ .” They said, icy and composed. Marya didn’t reply, instead just picking up the notebook with the measurements written in it, carefully closing it and heading towards the room where the entire cast, now with their measurements given to Marya, could start getting ready for the photoshoot they were doing that evening with Vaska. Elya shot a quick,  _ something came up, cant be at the shoot tonight, _ to Fedya and left silently, thankful that no one saw them go.

“Alright, so we have outfits for everyone, which is impressive.” Marya commented dryly, looking over the list of groups Andrey had given her earlier. “Andrey, come here a minute. Fedya, you too.” Fedya shrugged and got up from between Natasha and Mary, where he’d found himself, crossing to meet up with Marya. Andrey detached a whining Ippolit from around him and crossed to Marya, pausing to flick Sonya’s ear as he did.

“What’s up?” Andrey asked. Marya ran her fingers down the list of groups for the shoots again before looking up at the boys in front of her. 

“Give me an order for these, and I can start on makeup and hair, since Elya’s out for today.” Fedya shrugged and looked at Andrey. 

“Your call. I just want to keep the stuff that’s supposed to be for season two mostly to myself, so that shit for last. Maybe anything with Elisabeta for last, but other than that, up to you, Dryush.”

“‘Your call’ he says and then proceeds to literally give an order.” Andrey snarked, smiling. Fedya shoved at Andrey’s arm in reply. “But that’s all a good idea. Let’s go full cast, then Roberts, then Bents and then victims. Anyone who’s not in season two for single photos so that they can go get undressed.”

“We can get the kids home pretty early, then.” Fedya added, glancing over at Petya and Sophie. “We’re supposed to have them both back home by eight at the latest. Pierre can make that run while we do victims.”

“Sounds great.” Andrey said, looking to Marya. “Did we miss anyone?” 

“The high schoolers, but you’re all in both seasons, so I can work with that.” She waved her hand. “I can trust Sonya, Natasha, Mary, and Ippolit to do their own makeup, so which of you men is first? Andrey- actually, I’m not sure if you’re any good with makeup.” Marya considered him curiously. She hadn’t known him before his sophomore year. Andrey snorted. 

“I can do my own fairly quickly. And Fedya’s, because I’ve done him before.” He offered. Marya coughed in disbelief, turning her eyes to Fedya. Fedya shrugged. 

“I make a wonderful drag queen.” He deadpanned, before continuing, not bothering to say whether or not he was kidding. “Andrey and I can head out and do the two of us. Have those four start their own, and uh, start on Petya. Work your way through the Roberts family first? And keep an eye out for Vaska, he’s supposed to be over in a bit.” Marya nodded, blinking past her confusion. She had known Fedya- sort of- for a while, but hadn’t ever heard him say more than six words together at most ever. Andrey bit back a knowing laugh, motioning for Fedya to follow him out of the room


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**_AGhostOrRather messaged AndTheLightsWentOut_ **

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** So staying ahead of the game and all

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I have a picture of the full cast together in costume if you want it. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** r u offering me INSIDER INFORMATION?! 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** bc literally fuck me YES i want it? 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Absolutely offering inside information, 10/10 yup.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m posting it tomorrow probably so you can just get out some art before everyone else. Y’know, for my favorite artist. :**

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** im flattered, Fyodor. I didn’t take you for the flirtatious type ;***

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Seems you bring out a lot of things in me ;))))))

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** ANYWAYS.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ;)))))))) 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** sidenote i didn’t realize that that would be as hot as it was. HM.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I have a picture for yooooou. And names for the entire cast that I can point out since we decided to go ahead and cast two seasons at once because Andrey and I have no chill. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Oh, baby, just you wait, I can be so hot

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** It’s cause I’m fucking flaming. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Jesus Christ that was

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** godawful

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but also endearing. im into it. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** ANYWHO yes please!! i think i have most of the faces What with knowing like half of the people already

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** [image sent]

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** From right to left, we have: Sonya Rostova (Emmy), Andrey Bolkonsky (Jake), Marya Bolkonskaya (Renee), Natalya Rostova (Danica), Petya Rostov (Noah), Sophie Mamantova (Makayla), F.I. Dolokhov (Haze, 2017), Pierre Bezukhov (Max), Ippolit Kuragin (Andi), Elisabeta Meimeina (Haze, 1986)

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** should i even pretend not to know like, all of those people at least by face???

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** (but really, thank you!!)

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Take  FUCKING MOMENT to appreciate the amount of work that went into the costuming like Marya D scares the fuck outta me but damn that girl can sew. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** She also gives really good head :) 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Also Ippolit’s twin sibling, like fuck, they’re awesome. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I take it back about making things rise and making things hot and shit. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** That’s such a fucking terrifying image. Cursed. Blocked. Reported. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** awhhhhhhhh

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** tbh she taught me how to GIVE head and that was hot as HELL

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but yeah haha elya and i are pretty close

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** I’m scared of this creative team in all honesty. Andrey kept Sonya under control for eight hours this past weekend it fucking scared the shit out of me. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** if andrey was talking to me I’d congratulate him :) 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** oh shit

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hahaha yeah and honestly after the shit he pulled, Pierre can go to hell. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Jesus. You wanna talk about it?

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Also text me, if I use data, Andrey’s gonna kick my fucking ass. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** huh.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh.

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** What?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** you live with andrey and Pierre and Mary. Huh.

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** cool cool cool

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Oh. Uh. Yeah. I do. 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ ** Fucking text me, Yoshi, fuck’s sake. 

 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_> 1:03am_ **

so how about that haha

**Fedyushka <3**

**_> 1:03am_ **

I mean… Yeah. I live with them. 

**_> 1:03am_ **

“If you use the fucking data when you have FUCKING WIFI one more time, I will personally burn every article of clothing in your room” -Andrey just texted me this now, from Pierre’s phone. 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_> 1:04am_ **

jdfjfjdk andrey pls

**_> 1:04am_ **

aren’t trenchoats like? Invincible?

**Fedyushka <3**

**_> 1:05am_ **

Alyosha. 

**_1:05am_ **

Yoshi.

**_1:05am_ **

Have you been spying on me?

**Yoshi❤️**

**_> 1:05am_ **

no!!!!!

**_> 1:06am_ **

no, sorry, i promise I’m not stalking you or whatever you just live with my ex(?) friends and i just. notice things I guess? we’ve never spoken. 

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:06am_ **

I was kidding, Yosh. I’m actually kinda surprised you noticed me?

**_1:07am_ **

Most people forget I exist. 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:07am_ **

most people are assholes

**_1:07am_ **

not that im one to talk lmao hahaha

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:07am_ **

I still have no idea who you are

**_1:07am_ **

But I guess I’m pretty sure we go to the same school now. 

**_1:07am_ **

Which I think I knew before but wasn’t conscious of? I guess?

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:08am_ **

that’s probably for the better, honestly. im not a good person 

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:09am_ **

Bull fucking shit. 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:09am_ **

i appreciate the defense lol but it’s okay 

**_1:10am_ **

its fine, really. i dug myself into this lmao

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:11am_ **

Anyways tho what do you think of the characters and costumes and shit cause holy fuuuuuuuuuck that shit marya made me is dope? 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:11am_ **

god it fits u so fucking well i DIE

**_1:12am_ **

that’s elya kuragina’s suit too lmao 

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:12am_ **

I didn’t know I had muscle definition until Marya handed me that suit. 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:13am_ **

to be perfectly fair i was hoping there was a human person under those coats and black turtlenecks. Tho I knew u had an ass mr. skinny jeans 

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:14am_ **

Two, on stilts, actually. Little small people who bitch at tall people when they get mocked for not being able to reach the top shelf coughPierreBezukhovcough. 

**_1:15am_ **

“Want some tea, Fedya? Well, get it yourself.” YEAH, THANKS, DICK, I’D RATHER NOT CLIMB ON THE COUNTER AND HAVE ANDREY YELL AT ME AGAIN ABOUT LIVING LIKE A ‘CIVILIZED’ PERSON

**_1:16am_ **

#StillSalty2KAlways

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:16am_ **

u can climb on MY shelf ANYDAY

**_1:17am_ **

why did i say that. why??

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:17am_ **

I think it’d be the other way around tbh

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:18am_ **

… i wouldn’t say no to that. 

**_1:18am_ **

shfjfjfj this is a train wreck lmao 

**Fedyushka <3**

**_1:19am_ **

I don’t know when it devolved into shameless flirting but I’m not complaining tbh. 

**Yoshi❤️**

**_1:19am_ **

me neither lmao

**_1:20am_ **

idk

**_1:20am_ **

ur pretty fucking hot.

**_1:21am_ **

just saying

**_1:21am_ **

flirting isn’t usually this awkward for me

**_1:22am_ **

so im going to stop now before i die of mortification 

  
  


**AGhostOrRather:**

**Hey, guys, gals, and nb pals. I’m posting the first chapter of a new story, but I think it’s very important we have a bit of a chat first (and by chat, I mean I ramble and you all read, or don’t, and it’s a serious one).**

**Mental health is a topic that’s very close to my heart, and very close to me. I’m sure I’ve mentioned my sister, my biological sister, in the past but I’ve not spoken much on the topic of my family, because the information could theoretically be used to track me down. So I’m going to tell you all a bit of a story without giving too much detail.**

**When little Teddy was, oh, about 3, his parents had a little girl, a little sister for him. At age four, she was diagnosed with cancer. She was in and out of hospitals my whole childhood; her whole childhood. When I was thirteen, and she was ten, she passed away. The fight was too much and she asked that we stop fighting for her.**

**Less than three months later, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Since then, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety as well. But a little more focus on the depression.**

**My parents did the best they could to take care of me, but they were struggling. Financially. We didn’t have money. When I turned fourteen, we lost our house. We moved into an apartment. I slept in the only bedroom; my parents shared a couch-bed. I ate two meals a day. I was given pills to treat my depression but they weren’t working.**

**This is where I’m putting a trigger warning to those of you who need it: I am being frank about my mental health, and if this could possibly trigger you in any way, please stop reading. That being said, if you feel the need to message me, you are more than welcome to; I will likely be awake all night.**

**I tried to kill myself. I swallowed my bottle of pills. Twenty three pills, to be exact. It bothered me, the number. I could take up to four pills at a time and the uneven number in the last handful pissed me off.**

**I wrote my parents a letter. Mom told me, later, she thought I was joking. That I was playing some kind of prank. They got me to the hospital in time. All that did was put more of a financial strain on us.**

**I ate one meal a day. I wore my dad’s old clothes. Especially his trenchcoat. Loved that fucking thing to death. Still do. It’s the only thing that made it, really, this far. Well, and me.**

**I missed the entire second half of my freshman year of high school. I managed to pass, just barely, with the promise that I would take extra classes to bump my GPA up and to keep up with my peers.**

**Spring of my sophomore year, my parents died. I don’t want to go into details on that, because it’s still fresh enough that it hurts. Needless to say, somehow, I met** **@StriveForGreatness** **. He’s been my rock through all of this. Andrey has been possibly the most incredible friend I could ever ask for.**

**He doesn’t know most of this. He, and his boyfriend and sister, have taken me in. Our house is ridiculous, spent with us yelling at each other through walls, always with more people than live there over. But I couldn’t ask for a better family now.**

**I’m in a safe place now. I take my meds; they work, now. I’m more regulated. But even I have my dark moments. The days when I don’t have motivation and I can’t do anything because I’m just so** **_tired_ ** **. It’s okay to have those days.**

**It’s okay to be scared.**

**But if you’re in that dark place right now, and you’re asking, if there’s a sign, if I shouldn’t, then I won’t. This is me telling you, you shouldn’t. There is so much out there, and I promise you you** **_can_ ** **make it through to that light.**

**My inbox is always open. If you message me, or come off of anon and ask me to answer you privately, I will. I’m here to talk to when I have the spoons. I’m not a replacement for a therapist, but I am your peer, and I understand.**

**And to those of you who are in this dark place because of your identity… I understand. Truly, I do. It has only been in the past few months, even, that I’ve really been able to truly be myself. To have the confidence to be myself.**

**This has been a long post, but I won’t apologize for it. I love each and every one of you, I support you, and I’m here for you.**

**Love, Teddy.**

_ #teddy posts, #teddy rambles, #aghostorrather, #trigger warning, #depression tw, #suicide tw, #therapy tw, #pill tw, #i love you all, #i’m here if you ever need me, #i promise _


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Anatole stared at his laptop blankly, trying helplessly to process what he was reading on Fedya’s blog. 

**  
I want to die. No. No I don't want. I want the world to fucking stop for a goddamn minute and let me breathe. I want my baby sister back. I want everything to go back to how things used to be. I want to hear her laugh, to see you smile. I want to be able to feel anything other than numb. I want to have the energy to eat. I want to have  the energy to do more than just breathe. I want to be able to be myself and not be terrified I'm going to end up dead by someone else's hands.**

  
The words ricocheted between the hollow space in his ribs, and with a start, Anatole realized that he was crying. He sniffed, wiping at his eyes roughly, and braced himself for the rest of the note.

**  
I don't feel like I’m even alive right now. It feels like an empty shell of me, a ghost of me, an apparition of who Alexei used to be, of who you thought your son was, because he's not here anymore. He hasn't been here. I play pretend and I dress up and I smile for the fucking camera but I CAN’T FUCKING FEEL! I can't. I can’t breathe half the time. It feels like I'm drowning, gasping for air and the darkness keeps pulling me under, this all-consuming fog of depression and death and destruction and I just want to stop and breathe.**

  
It was far too real to be just another web series, he decided reluctantly. Though the thought of Fedya having to pretend like he did was somehow worse.

**  
I want to feel things when I hold the razor to my thigh and I draw. I want to feel things when the plastic green lighter against my skin lights up and makes a beautiful orange glow that i press to my skin.**

Anatole shuddered, his fingers skittering across his own forearms. His chest constricted, and he wanted to fling his laptop across the room for seeing himself in someone else. He couldn’t breath.    
  


**I want to be able to feel when they shove me into lockers at school, when they steal my clothes after phys and call me faggot. When they laugh because their work has already been done, and faggot is carved into my thigh and my face and my mind and I can't escape.  
  
**

With a broken sob, Anatole closed his laptop, shoving it away from himself as though it would burn him. He curled in on himself, holding his wrists to his chest as he cried brokenly. 

“A-natole?” Ippolit knocked softly on the door. “Anatole? It’s Elya and I. Can we come in?”

Anatole gave a vague, “uh-huh” and tried to compose himself, turning his head away so that they wouldn’t see his face. Ippolit gently pushed the door open and made his way into the room, hesitating for only a second before he moved to the bed, climbing onto it and pulling his brother into his arms, shushing him softly. Elya shut and locked the door behind themself, then crawled onto the bed, wrapping their arms around both of their brothers. 

Anatole started crying again at that, and his breaths sped up, almost frantically. Elya pulled away, forcing Anatole to uncurl. “Hey, breathe with me okay? Just focus on breathing okay.” Anatole nodded shakily, clutching at their hands as though clinging to a lifeline. 

Ippolit brushed his hand over Anatole’s side, rubbing gently in an attempt to help calm him down, silent but following along with Elya’s breathing patterns, helping. After a few minutes, Anatole gave them both a weak smile, and then ducked his head. He mumbled something unintelligible. 

“What was that, Toto?” Elya asked, meeting Ippolit’s eyes with a look of concern.

“I’m gay. I like boys.” Anatole said, louder, then squeezed his eyes shut. Elya opened their mouth to respond but Ippolit cut them before they could. 

“Okay,” he said softly, simple and sweet, kissing Anatole’s head gently. “Proud of you, Toto.”

“Thank you.” He said softly, then laughed humorlessly. “Sorry, it’s stupid. I shouldn’t have kept it from both of you considering…” he motioned to his siblings. Elya hushed him, ruffling his hair. 

“Enough with that.” They said forcefully.

“We knew you’d take your time,” Ippolit murmured, continuing to train of thought almost, still softer in tone than Elya. “But it’s yours to tell us. When you were ready.”

Anatole smiled gratefully, and pulled the two back into a hug. “I love you both.” He whispered. Elya kissed the side of his head, murmuring it back. Ippolit didn’t say anything, tucked close to Anatole, his own mind clouded with the post he and Elya both had been reading before they heard Anatole. 

“Papa used to hit me.” He found himself saying before he could stop himself. Anatole jerked back and Elya froze, looking as though they’d been slapped. They watched him, waiting for him to continue. “Before- Mama died. When I was little.” Ippolit didn’t meet their eyes, as he spoke, soft and unsure of himself. 

“Lito…” Elya began, sounding tearful. “Lito, why didn’t you tell us?” They wiped at their eyes, then gingerly took Ippolit’s hand. Ippolit made a soft noise, shrugging slightly. 

“It was- a long time ago? He stopped when I- around kindergarten. Left me alone, prob’ly ‘cause I was in school then.” Ippolit shifted uncomfortably. “The, um, scar. On my arm. He broke my arm when I was four. You- don’t remember it, ‘cause I told you that I fell off of the swing at the park, but he, um. Yeah.”

Elya let out a soft noise, gingerly rolling up Ippolit’s sleeve. They looked at the thin white scar for a moment, before they dipped down, pressing a light kiss to the mark. “I’m so sorry, Lito.” They said, voice hoarse with unshed tears. Ippolit shifted, uncomfortable. “I wish you’d told us sooner.”

Anatole still sat frozen, looking pale as he watched Ippolit. “Why didn’t you tell me? All of this time I’ve been bitter towards you because- he made us think you were the favorite- and I-” Anatole rubbed the heel of one hand across his eyes. “I’ve been  _ awful _ to you?” 

“I am the favorite.” Ippolit muttered bitterly, pressing his face to Anatole’s shoulder, fidgeting. “Doesn’t change that he favors me.”

“But still.” Anatole said softly, wrapping his arms around his older brother, rocking back and forth and trying to sooth him. “I’m sorry for being a dick. You didn’t deserve that. Any of it. Me or him.” Elya made a noise of agreement, shifting closer.

“Or me.” They said softly. Ippolit shifted again, shrugging slightly, face tucked to Anatole’s shoulder still, blocking out light. He made a soft noise, deciding words were too difficult to really try and put them into sentences. 

The three sat in silence for a minute before Elya spoke up quietly. “I had a breakdown after practice last night.” Anatole looked at them sharply. 

“You said you were hooking up with someone.” He said, though there was no bite or anger behind his words. Elya snorted, sniffling. “What happened Ela?” He prodded. Elya took a deep breath. 

“Marya snaps at me more when Ipp and I fight. I just. Lost it a little. Natasha drove me home.” Anatole winced at the name, but nodded. 

“I’ll try to fight her for you, if you want.” Anatole offered, and Elya laughed. 

“I’d like you alive, thanks very much.” Ippolit made a soft noise close to a laugh though he didn’t lift his head from Anatole’s shoulder. His eyes were barely noticeable as he shifted slightly, regarding his siblings, before burying his face back completely against Anatole. Elya and Anatole watched him, before sharing a smile. “We can’t keep hiding things from each other. Like when we’re mad or upset. We’re all sort of fucked, and honestly we’re all the family we have left.” 

Anatole nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah. You’re right. No- no running off and ignoring the other two.” He said, and he and Elya shared sheepish laughs. “Lito?” He prompted gently. Ippolit made a noise, scrunching his nose and shaking his head. 

“Ipp, please? I know words are hard, but they’re possible. You can even write it down if you want.” Anatole said, alarmed as he watched Elya’s face close off. Ippolit shifted uncomfortably, struggling for a second before he shifted, sitting up and adding the both of them to a group chat on his phone, typing as he curled in on himself. 

 

**_Big bro <3_ **

**_> 11:54pm_ **

It’s not fair to ask me to just not run off. We aren’t all the same in terms of mental health. I’m not like the both of you. I can’t put words together like  _ that _ . I can’t just find words easily. I don’t process things quickly. It’s not fair to ask the same things of each other when we’re not the same. 

**_> 11:54pm_ **

It’s not fair to ask me to be the same as you. 

**_> 11:54pm_ **

That’s what HE wanted. Wants. 

 

**_Puppy Toto <3_ **

**_> 11:56pm_ **

you’re right

**_> 11:58_ **

i didn’t mean to suggest that im sorry lito

**_> 12:00pm_ **

but after you come back, can you try to communicate with us? just try?

 

Ippolit didn’t speak but instead just nodded his head, tucking his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie, shifting and fidgeting wordlessly with the end of his sleeve. Elya was frowning at their phone still, scrolling occasionally, until they looked up with uncertainty. “Lito? Uh… you can stim- you can stim around us- if you want?” They whispered tentatively, looking almost afraid that Ippolit would close off. Ippolit jumped, looking at them with a confused look. He formed the word with his lips, repeating it back to himself silently. 

“Like when I bounce my leg and shake my hands? There’s like- people rock sometimes?” Anatole offered, taking Elya’s hand and squeezing. Ippolit made a face, slowly raising his sleeve to his mouth, chewing on the end of it absently. He shifted again but didn’t move other than that. Elya smiled softly. 

“You used to rock. When we were little.” Elya offered. “And it says that chewing is a stim too.” Ippolit blinked at them and shifted again, nervous and unsure, but shifted, fidgeting but not quite to an extent that he was doing it steadily. Elya smiled. “Just an idea, darling.” They said. “But it might help. This says it helps… processing?”

Ippolit hummed, shifting again, grimacing slightly. He reached for his phone, typing quickly onto it. 

 

**_Big bro <3_ **

**_> 12:18pm_ **

Elya, how do you know?

 

Elya and Anatole shared a look. “We were looking for a reason why Anatole can’t sit still or concentrate.” They started, and Anatole nodded for encouragement. “And uh, when we were looking at some of the things it could be… one of them started to sound like you… and…” Ippolit blinked at them, waiting for them to finish their sentence. 

“It sounded to us like you’re autistic.” Anatole said, ever the blunt younger brother. Ippolit turned his attention to his little brother, confused. Anatole shrugged. “Do you want to read up on it? I don’t know if I’m gonna be the best at actually explaining.”

Ippolit shifted slightly and shook his head, sliding back down to lay down on the bed, using Anatole’s blanket to wrap himself up, getting comfortable. Anatole smiled, and Elya relaxed, finally. “Can we cuddle?” They asked softly, directing the question more at Ippolit, knowing Anatole was always on board.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:ooam_ **

so, mental illness amiright?

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:04am_ **

Ha. Yeah. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:05am_ **

i wasn’t expecting all that tbh, that’s fucking rough though

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:06am_ **

Ah sorry about that. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:06am_ **

no no don’t apologize holy shit 

**_> 8:07am_ **

this sounds weird but like

**_> 8:07am_ **

im glad i know? 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:08am_ **

Thanks.

**_> 8:09am_ **

I, um. Didn’t expect to be posting it this soon.

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:10am_ **

Yeah?

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:11am_ **

Someone came into my inbox and told me not to consider myself an advocate for mental health if i’m neurotypical. 

**_> 8:12am_ **

Just kinda struck a nerve. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:12am_ **

jesus. people are assumptive bastards sometimes

**_> 8:13am_ **

that’s a huge step though, putting something that personal out there

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:15am_ **

Thank you. 

**_> 8:16am_ **

You woke me up. :( Andrey let me stay home. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:16am_ **

shit man im sorry

**_> 8:17am_ **

u don’t have to stay up now that I’m texting u. Go sleep if you can? 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_8:17am_ **

Nah, I’m up, might as well stay up. I’ll just nap at some point. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:18am_ **

and holy shit yeah Andrey didn’t know did he? how’s Mary taking it?

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:19am_ **

Mary came into my room and ended up sleeping in here even though I didn’t sleep much. I haven’t really talked to Dads™ yet so I don’t know about Andrey or Pierre. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:20am_ **

not to be a dick but rn i couldn’t care less about pierre 

**_> 8:20am_ **

also that explains why Mary was being extra clingy today

**_> 8:21am_ **

not that i care im the same way

**_> 8:22am_ **

lito ela and i barely slept last night tbh. it’s been rough lmao

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:28am_ **

Yeah ippolit was messaging me around 3am.

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:30am _ **

shit, that was supposed to be for Mary. tits.

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:31am_ **

Don’t worry about it. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:32am_ **

haha yeah 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:33am_ **

Is he okay? He sent me a bunch of messages that were just exclamation points and then a few vaguely composed sentences here and there. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:34am_ **

oh lmao lito’s all good, he had a good talk with his siblings is all

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:35am_ **

I was a little concerned since he asked me to edit the scripts a bit but it worked out in his favor in the end. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:36am_ **

Huh?

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:38am_ **

Just some edits for Emmy. A little bit here and there. A small mention of something in the first episode. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:39am_ **

  1. OH thaaaat. gotcha. yeah. i kno what ur talking about. thats good :)



**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:40am_ **

Mhm. 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:41am_ **

not to be dramatic but like, im so tired that I’m literally going to die. 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 8:42am_ **

That is so not allowed until we meet in person

**_> 8:43am_ **

Which better fucking happen soon.

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:44am_ **

why, u planning on asking me out or smthn lmao ;)


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Fedya stared at his phone, trying to process exactly what the fuck had just happened. What Alyosha serious? Because, yes, Fedya absolutely would ask him out in a heartbeat if he thought that the other boy would reply in the affirmative.

With barely a second’s thought, Fedya dialed Andrey’s number, his legs bouncing anxiously. “Andrey, you need to come home. Now.” Fedya said the second the other picked up. “ _ Now _ .”

“What?!” Andrey said, and there was movement on the other end, and Pierre’s alarmed tone. Then the sound of a door closing and keys jingling. “What’s wrong Fedya?”

“I, uh, eugh.” Fedya stammered out, staring at his phone still. “Boys?”

“I- what?” Andrey said as the sound of an engine started. “I’m driving home right now, gonna hang up, okay?” Fedya made an indescribable noise of agreement. Andrey hung up, gunning the engine once he was out of sight of the school, making it home within five minutes. “Fedya?” He called once he was through the door. “Fedya? Where are you?” He asked, slightly out of breath and more than slightly panicked.

“Room?” Fedya called back, shifting on his bed. “Andrey- Dryush,  _ boy _ .”

Andrey burst through the doorway, having run up the stairs, and stopped, looking at the seemingly okay boy. “Fedya, what the hell are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“He thinks I should ask him out.” Fedya said in a terrified voice, still staring at his hand. “He  _ wants me to ask him out, Andrey.”  _ Andrey squinted at Fedya, bemused. He dropped onto the bed next to Fedya, holding out his hand for the phone. 

“ _ Who _ .” Andrey asked, shaking his head. “What the  _ fuck _ are you  _ talking  _ about, you  _ disaster _ .”

“Yoshi- Alyosha.” Fedya answered, flopping down uselessly, staring at the ceiling. “He wants me to ask him out. I- Fuck.  _ Fuck _ .” Andrey huffed in mild annoyance and grabbed the phone from his friend. His eyes widened as he read the messages, and then let out a snort of laughter, tossing it back onto Fedya’s stomach. Fedya grunted, curling in where the phone hit him, whining dramatically. “Ow, Dad.” 

“You’re such a fucking mess.  _ He’s  _ such a fucking mess,  _ fuck _ . Fedya, you’re a dumbass.” Andrey said, chuckling. “You’re- do you still not know?”

“That he’s Anatole Kuragin?” Fedya tilted his head. “I figured it out this morning.” He groaned. “That doesn't change my current predicament, Dad.” Andrey froze, looking at Fedya.

“It doesn’t?” He asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “What?”

“What?” Fedya echoed.

“That’s not like, a huge turn off for you? Andrey asked. “That he’s slept with like three quarters of his class and mine? And that he’s dating Natasha Rostova?” 

“Keep up with school gossip, ‘Drey, it’s all over snapchat. Natasha’s been holdin’ hands with Elya Kuragine all day.” Fedya snorted. “And told someone before school she’s a lesbian.” He scrubbed at his face. “And I’m friends with you, it’d be hypocritical of me to slutshame.” 

Andrey, blinked, then smiled slowly. “I slept with him for the better part of last year and first semester this year.” Fedya shook his head, gesturing, ‘and?’ without speaking. 

“ _ So _ I can let you in on what he likes, if you’d like. But anyway,” Andrey said, raising an eyebrow at him. “By this point, you probably know that he’s not going to take you knowing well.”

“I’m good, thanks.” Fedya said, almost coolly. “And I’m not about to fucking announce I know who he is.” 

Andrey shrugged, huffing and laying down beside Fedya. “So how the fuck do you plan on asking him out?” Fedya let out another indescribable noise and threw his phone across the room. Andrey snorted, patting Fedya’s hair. “If it’s any consolation, last time we spoke he was still very into you. I don’t think that’s changed in the week he’s been avoiding all of us.”

“He’s avoiding you?” Fedya sat up, staring at Andrey. “Why?” Andrey sighed darkly, rubbing a hand across his face. 

“Remember that whole thing with me and Pierre?” He asked, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Fedya nodded slowly. “Yeah. Mary and Pierre switched bedrooms, I remember.” Fedya hesitated, turning to look at Andrey slowly. “Do you- need to say it? Out loud?” He reached over to help ground Andrey if necessary.  

Andrey took a shallow breath, holding tight to Fedya’s hand. “Pierre attacked Anatole on the bus one day.” Andrey started slowly, trying to keep his breathing even. “And he only stopped when he saw that it sent me into an episode. Anatole has bruises on his arms, and Pierre was about to  _ hit _ him- and- the only reason he didn’t is because he saw me.” Andrey took a shaky breath. “I couldn’t fucking look at him for days, it’s no fucking wonder Anatole still can’t stand to be in the same room as us.”

Fedya didn’t speak, just scrubbing at his face. He had tried his best to stay neutral in this mess, but his heart was out to Ippolit and Anatole, he couldn’t help himself. He knew about Pierre’s temper, he’d lived with Pierre long enough to know. 

“Vasily beats his fucking kids.” Andrey continued, laughing humorlessly. “Anatole doesn’t need that shit at school too.” Fedya made a noise of understanding, rolling off his bed to grab his phone from where he’d thrown it across the room barely a minute earlier. “What are you doing?” Andrey said, watching him.

“I- shouldn’t ask- him out, then.” Fedya muttered slowly, looking at his phone, where the notification of  _ Text Messages (3) Yoshi❤️  _ was visible on the lock screen. Andrey pulled a face, propping himself up to look at Fedya. 

“Correct me if I’m reading this wrong but, if that’s the turn off for you here that’s kinda fucked up.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I’m-” Fedya groaned and dropped onto the bed again, phone dropping to his chest. “I don’t want him to get hurt because of me.”

“What in God’s name are you talking about?” Andrey asked, confused. “You realize he knows fully well who you are, right?”

“Look, he-” Fedya started, before letting out a long sigh and deflated onto his bed again. “He can’t be out. And I can’t guarantee that- with our friends, shit won’t get out about him dating me, if I do ask him out. So it’s better not to ask, right? He won’t get hurt then.”

“Fedya, let me ask you something.” Andrey said gently. Fedya looked over at him, eyebrows raised. 

“When did Pierre and I start going out?”

“Uuuuuuuuh.” Fedya scrunched up his nose in thought, trying to figure it out. “My- freshman year? Pierre’s sophomore, right?” 

“Correct. And that was when my dad was still in the picture, yes?” Andrey prodded Fedya’s shoulder. Fedya’s eyes widened as it dawned on him what Andrey was getting at. 

“Okay, but-” Fedya started to argue, stopping when Andrey shushed him. 

“But what? Sonya and I broke up in a similar way as he and Natasha did. She stole all of the attention, like Natasha’s doing for Anatole.” Andrey smiled softly at him. “He’s more than safe with us. You know that.”

“Yeah, but-” Fedya started again, stopping before he spoke softly. “Your dad was already sick. His dad is like. Fucking healthy as shit and still kicking and fuck, Andrey, why do I do this to myself? All boys with issues.” He smacked himself in the face. “I just got over my crush on you, like fuck’s sake.” Andrey blinked at him.

“Your what?” He asked blankly. Fedya’s mouth fell open and then closed a few times before he just rolled over and pressed his face to his blanket, as though it would stop the questions. Andrey spluttered, sitting up fully. “Fedya- what- when?”

Fedya raised his head long enough to mutter, “Like- middle school through about a month ago?” in the most dejected voice he could manage. Andrey just stared at him, silent and confused. Fedya dropped his head back onto the bed and let out a whine muffled only by his blanket. “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

“I’m not like- mad or put off or anything but like- how the  _ fuck _ did you slip that by me?” Andrey finally spoke.

“Why do you think Pierre made the rule about wearing shirts in the house?” Fedya finally said, sitting straight up on the bed. “It’s not like Mash was walking around without a shirt on!”

“Holy  _ shit _ .” Andrei said empathetically. “How did I not- why didn’t Pierre tell me- I- if you’d said something I would’ve-” he cut himself off with a shake of his head.

“Dated me?” Fedya asked dryly. “I was in a bad place, and- and Pierre knew that. I was  _ so _ not in a place where I’d’ve been a good boyfriend, ‘Drey. Pierre did me a favor by not mentioning it, ‘cause I don’t think our friendship would have worked out. I’d’ve been the most toxic boyfriend, and it would not have ended well.” He gave Andrey a dry smile. “It’s for the better that nothing ever happened.”

Andrey huffed out a laugh. “I was an entire fucking mess too. But still. That sucks.” The flash of Fedya’s phone screen distracted him as the number of texts grew steadily. “Speaking of entire fucking messes, you should probably reply soon so our dear Anatole doesn’t have an anxiety attack over you and your thick skull.”

“Yeah, m’getting there.” Fedya muttered, throwing a pillow Andrey’s way. “Come nap, I want cuddles, Dad.” He shifted on his bed so Andrey could curl up to him like they used to when Fedya worked himself into depressive ruts. Andrey rolled his eyes, wrapping himself around his friend and dropping off to sleep fairly quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, we love to see comments!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 8:50am _ **

shit im just joking

**_> 8:55am_ **

fuck, sorry. i didn’t mean to overstep 

**_> 8:57am_ **

fedya?

**_> 9:00am_ **

im so sorry please respond i didn’t mean to read this wrong 

**_> 9:00am_ **

Fedya please just respond I’m so so sorry 

  
  


**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:24am_ **

Hey sorry andrey came home and we had a Dad-Son Important Talk

**_> 9:24am_ **

You okay?

**_> 9:24am_ **

And yes, actually, i am planning on it

**_> 9:25am_ **

In the future. If you’re cool with that. 

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:30am_ **

oh

**_> 9:31am_ **

fuck, i mean, yeah. 

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:32am_ **

yeah?

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:33am_ **

well

**_> 9:34am_ **

u don’t even know who i am so like? maybe not. for ur sake.

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:35am_ **

First of all no self-hatred in the year of our lord 2018

**_> 9:36am_ **

Secondly. My type happens to be dumpster fire disaster closeted queer boys

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:37am_ **

oh jeez that’s me…

**_> 9:38am_ **

but like, for real u don’t know who I am. and listen I like you so fucking much but like, u don’t kno me.

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:39am_ **

so?

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:40am_ **

so ur friend family collectively hates me and shit how do I know that you don’t irl? 

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:41am_ **

Bear with me here

**_> 9:41am_ **

I have this theory that we’re more like ourselves, our real selves, online than we are in person. There’s no code switching, to borrow a friend’s term, to be the person someone else wants us to be.

**_> 9:42am_ **

There’s always an easy out online. An unfollow or a block, or even just ghosting. 

**_> 9:43am_ **

I like talking to you. I smile when i see i have a message from you. If i didn’t like you, i wouldn’t talk to you. 

**_> 9:44am_ **

So no matter what ur like irl, i know the real you. 

**_> 9:44am_ **

and i like him. A lot. 

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:46am_ **

being myself on here doesn’t erase the shit ive done. who i am irl and who I am on here aren’t separated. They come from the same source. 

**_> 9:47am_ **

i know this sounds selfish but i can’t handle the possibility of us getting together and it being over the minute u kno who i am

**_> 9:48am_ **

because if they can’t stand 2 be around me, why would u be different?

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:49am_ **

Because I’m not them. 

 

**_Yoshi❤️_ **

**_> 9:50am_ **

how could i know that for sure

 

**_Fedya <3_ **

**_> 9:51am_ **

There’s… been a lot of shit going on. I’m watching my friends descend into hell because half of them can’t talk to each other. You’ve been my rock, Yosh. 

**_> 9:52am_ **

You’ve been my saving grace. And I’m sitting here trying to convince you that no matter what, I like you. 

**_> 9:55am_ **

Look, I don’t give a fuck if you’re fucking- I don’t know, Anatole Kuragin. I like you. Okay? I like you for you. I’ve seen good sides and bad sides. And I like what I have seen of you. Why would the rest scare me off?

 

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

**Holy SHIT you guys. Holy. Shit. I can’t believe any of you. I love you all so fucking much. The outreach that my post had (20K notes last I checked?), and the asks I’ve been getting, the messages.**

**To anyone who reached out and said thank you- Thank** **_you_ ** **. Thank you for finding the courage to reach out to me and tell me what’s going on. And thank you for trusting me. I love each and every one of you.**

**As a little gift, I have something for you all who have been eagerly awaiting for something about Emmy. Not only do I have a new chapter for all of you, I have some more promo pictures for you (I think Andrey’s been sharing some here and there). So, without further ado, here is your cast for Emmy.**

**[full cast picture]**

**~Teddy**

_ #emmy, #teddy posts, #teddy kinda rambles, #aghostorrather, #i know some of you track my URL for some reason, #teddy updates, #i love you all, #emmy: the web series, #still without a better name, #i’m in the cast, #surprise, #have fun figuring out who i am _

 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning messaged AndTheLightsWentOut_ **

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** a little birdie told me there’ve been issues in the love department

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** talk to dr sonya

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** nothings going on. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** bitch please

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i didn’t follow u for your sad gay content i followed u for art

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** whats going on?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** for fucks sake

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** there’s nothing going on in the love department because there is no love department anymore, okay? 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** no not okay. Spill. What’s going on

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i dont even actually know u, why the fuck should i?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** look. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** maybe it’s better to talk to someone u don’t know

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** but who knows fedya really damn well. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** whats he told u already

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** only that there’s been issues

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i mean, yeah. there’s only so long with “fucking- I don’t know, Anatole Kuragin.” before shit starts to go south. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** okay hold up what was the context

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** cause im p sure that fedya has a crush on Anatole Kuragin

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** has since forever

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** the context doesn’t matter because he’s an idiot if he has a crush on me. ask him yourself

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** well i’m not talking to him i’m talking to u so talk to me

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** god you’re an idiot

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i hate men

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** fuckin talk, kuragin, c’mon

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fucking!

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** fine! whatever!

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** He was going on about how much I’ve helped him thru ur weird friend family fighting and surprise surprise! they’re fighting because of me and like. I can’t have him know because that’s horrifying, Alright?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** can I go back to isolating myself from y’all so that he doesn’t get hurt or

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** im p sure you’re not the reason they’re fighting

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** Andrey and Pierre are. Or at least Andrey is mad at Pierre because of the shit that went down. so, yeah, cause of me 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** oh ur the reason behind andrey and pierre’s ongoing bickering about pierre’s sexuality? Or their attempts to navigate polyamory? Or andrey’s ptsd? Or the fact that they fight over fedya and Mary all the time?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** or the fighting over marya and ippolit? Or the fighting over school?

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** they’re always fighting, anatole. Not just over you. I’m p sure you’re the last thing on their minds. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** okay first of all, Jesus. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** and second of all, this isn’t bickering this is like, Andrey told me that he’s not even sleeping in the same bed as Pierre because Pierre isn’t sorry about what happened. like, they haven’t been talking beyond u guys and logistical shit levels of fighting 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** I’ve known them for a while. Im not clueless, Sonya.

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** they don’t share a bed this time of year. Ever. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ **  boo i get it. You want to blame yourself because it’s easy to do that. But i’ve known andrey and pierre since pierre moved to russia, since andrey moved to moscow. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** i dated andrey for three years. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** they’re like brothers to me. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** this isn’t about you. 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** about me or not I can’t let this just happen. I appreciate ur help but like. im notorious for cheating. i cant be around him in school without my dad finding out. u kno that i can’t fucking do this. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** okay, slow down. Slow down. Breathe. 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** has fedya asked you to tell him who you are? Has he asked to meet you in person?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** no, and he won’t because im not about to keep talking to him 

**_IWillFinallyStopRunning:_ ** …..

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** that’s literally horrifying. i cant keep at this fucking balancing act. im going to be there for shooting for support for elya because my siblings are still trying to stop our own fighting, so Anatole Kuragin will be there and he’ll have no idea that it’s me 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

“Anatole. Toto. Come on. You can’t lock yourself at home. At least go to MPA.” Elya said shoving at Anatole’s shoulder as their brother tried to smother himself with his own pillow. “Anatole, come on. You don’t have to do anything else. Just go through classes and then you can go paint. And you know you need to.”

 

Finally, fucking  _ finally _ , Anatole sat up, hugging his sibling tightly. “Fine. But only for you.” He grumbled. Elya snorted and pulled him out of bed, shoving clothes into his arms. 

 

“We leave in half an hour, you can eat in the car, okay?”

 

“Mkay. Thanks Ela.” He said, offering a forced smile. Elya returned with a genuine one and closed the door behind themself on their way out. 

 

Ippolit already had his backpack on downstairs, his jacket tied around his waist. He had a piece of toast in his mouth as he hurriedly texted and headed towards the door, ignoring Elya for the most part as he tried to head out without being caught by a sibling. 

 

Elya swallowed thickly, clearing their throat. “Bye, Lito?” They said with uncertainty. Ippolit made a noise in the back of his throat and shut the door behind him, sliding into the car waiting for him, where he was immediately greeted by Pierre and Andrey. Elya rubbed their hands roughly over their eyes, trying to control their breathing before Anatole could see them. 

 

“Ela, hey- hey, c’mere.” Anatole said, spinning them around and hugging them. “He ignoring you again?” He asked, gritting his teeth when Elya nodded, dragging in a shuddering breath. “Jesus, so much for trying I guess.” 

 

“And so much for everything else with it.” Elya muttered. They stayed like that for a few more minutes. Holding each other close as if it would make up for Ippolit’s absence.

 

They left for school not long after, attached at the hip, pointedly paying attention to no one but each other, and trying desperately to get Ippolit to pay any amount of attention to them. 

 

Ippolit didn’t interact with either of his siblings, keeping close to either of his boyfriends throughout the day, and even spending time with Fedya when neither Andrey or Pierre were around, Fedya clearly not doing well. 

 

Fedya’s MentHive account had gone practically silent in a span of two days, and the only hint that he was alive were Andrey’s posts about the filming and working with Fedya, claiming Fedya was entirely focused on the web series and school and had stopped posting. 

 

It’s clear that wasn’t true. Marya had confided in Elya, once the two had made up, that Fedya had lost weight, and clearly wasn’t sleeping. Elya has reluctantly revealed that Anatole wasn’t doing any better, and that, yes, his thin face had indeed been getting thinner. He had been sleeping more often than not, though, and when he wasn’t sleeping he was cuddling with Elya. Elya too had been skipping cheer and avoiding food, though when Marya asked, they brushed off the questions and changed the subject.

 

Ippolit dropped his bag down onto the ground and dropped into the chair next to Andrey during their free period, resting his head on Andrey’s shoulder. “Ugh.” He said pointedly, nuzzling Andrey’s hoodie. 

 

“Ugh indeed.” Andrey replied, pausing uncertainly before he spoke again. “What’s going on with you and the other two, huh?” Ippolit didn’t reply immediately, nuzzling Andrey’s hoodie before he spoke. 

 

“Told- my siblings that- that Papa used to hit me.”

 

“Yeah? And they apologized for how they’ve acted right?” Andrey prompted softly, pressing a kiss to Ippolit’s head. Ippolit, rather than reply verbally, moved his hand to his shirt, tugging it up just enough to show what looked like a fresh bruise on his side, the other one still fading. He didn’t need to say anything. Ippolit just nuzzled closer, as though burrowing into Andrey’s hoodie would stop things from happening. 

 

Andrey drew in a sharp breath. “Jesus- Ippolit. Baby, do they know about this? When did it happen?”

 

“Yesterday.” Ippolit mumbled. “No.” Andrey let out a slow breath. 

 

“Baby, you told me that you’d start letting them know these things. They love you and they’re there for you. You can’t stay with Pierre and I for the sake of avoiding them, y’know?” He said as gently as he could, holding Ippolit close. Ippolit shrugged slightly, shaking his head, and curling up in his seat, letting out a slow breath. 

 

“Don’t want them to know it’s started again.” Ippolit whispered finally. “I can take it.” Andrey looked mildly panicked. 

 

“That’s- not how this works, love.” He said. “You need them more than ever and they need you to let them in.  _ You _ need you to let them in.” He tried to slow his breathing. “You don’t have to take it alone.” Ippolit didn’t reply, and after a few minutes, the loud noise of Pierre dropping his bag next to them and pulling a chair up made the youngest of the three jump. 

 

“Sorry, Lito.” Pierre said, brushing his hand gently over Ippolit’s arm. “Got kicked out of French, so I’m here. What’s going on?” Andrey sighed and motioned to Ippolit. 

 

“You have to show him, darling. I won’t do it for you.” He said gently. Ippolit let out a soft whine but lifted the side of his shirt again, where the new bruise was already darkening. Pierre sucked in a sharp breath. 

 

“Oh, baby,” he said softly, reaching for Ippolit and softening even more when Ippolit tucked himself against Pierre and drew in sharp breaths, as though stopping himself from crying. 

 

“He hasn’t told his siblings.” Andrey said softly, barely above a whisper. “He said that he can ‘take it’.” He said, silently begging Pierre to back him up. Pierre brushed his hand gently over Ippolit’s hair, kissing the top of his head gently. 

 

“We’re here for you when you’re ready,” Pierre said, rather than backing up either side, gently tilting Ippolit’s chin up so he could press a sweet kiss to his lips. Andrey closed his eyes, trying to stop the influx of memories trying to worm their way into his consciousness. When he opened them, he looked back at Pierre again pleading with his eyes. Pierre shook his head, shifting so Ippolit wouldn’t hear him when he spoke. 

 

“I can take it, Pierre,” Pierre whispered. “So Mary doesn’t have to, I can take it. You said that to  _ me _ , Andrey. Freshman year. You weren’t ready, and neither is he.”

 

“She was still a child, Pierre.” Andrey whispered back, hysteria rising in his tone. “And she wasn’t being  _ beaten _ . They’re all the same age living with the same hell. He’s hurting himself as much as he’s hurting them by avoiding this.” 

 

“All pushing is going to do is push him away from us too.” Pierre replied, kissing Ippolit’s head gently to soothe him. “He’s the oldest one. He probably feels responsible, the  _ same way you did _ . He’s doing what he thinks is right.”

 

“Don’t  _ fucking _ turn this back on me. You  _ know  _ that it was a fucking mistake that I kept it to myself.” Andrey’s eyes stung. “Please, Pierre.”

 

“I won’t push him.” Pierre said with finality, shifting to let Ippolit pull away, reaching for Andrey’s hand, Ippolit sensing something was wrong. Andrey stared at Ippolit’s hand, looking panicked, and then he wiped at his eyes roughly, standing and bolting from the room, his bag slung over one shoulder. Ippolit flinched back into Pierre’s arms, Pierre gently hushing him and kissing his head. 

 

On the bus to MPA, Andrey sat with Anatole, the two of them pressed close to one another for comfort. Pierre’s phone flashed with a message not five minutes into the trip, though. 

 

**_Drusha_ ** ❤️

**_> 12:25pm_ **

Pierre I can’t fucking bystand this. All three of them are falling apart because they won’t talk to eachother they’re all playing this dumb game of “I can take it” please you have to help me

 

**_Petrushka_ **

**_> 12:26pm_ **

Our job isn’t to force him to do anything. Our job is to support him, as his boyfriends, and try to push him to do the right thing, but we can’t force him to do anything. 

 

**_Drusha_ ** ❤️

**_> 12:27pm_ **

Being gentle isn’t going to do anything, you know that

**_> 12:27pm_ **

You’re the one who fucking forced me to tell you when shit was happening. You know as well as I do that we’re not going to be enough, and that he’s never going to be ready. Please for the love of anything listen to what I’m telling you Pierre 

 

**_Petrushka_ **

**_> 12:28pm_ **

He needs time. 

 

**_Drusha_ ** ❤️

**_> 12:28pm_ **

I can’t fucking do this anymore.  We’ll talk when we get home. 

 

**_Petrushka_ **

**_> 12:29pm_ **

Stop saying that to me. “I can’t fucking do this.” “I can’t do this.” 

**_> 12:30pm_ **

Then break up with me, Andrey. 

 

**_Drusha_ ** ❤️

**_> 12:30pm_ **

Fine, then, if that’s what you want. We’re done. 

 

**_Pierre Bezukhov_ **

**_> 12:31pm_ **

Okay. 

  
  


**_Solnste❤️_ **

**_> 12:33pm_ **

ipp baby it’s not your fault, but i have to break it off with you. im sorry.

 

**_Ippolit Kuragin_ **

**_> 12:40pm_ **

What? I don’t understand

 

**_Solnste❤️_ **

**_> 12:42pm_ **

Pierre and i broke up, and i didn’t want to make you choose. im so sorry. 

 

**_Ippolit Kuragin_ **

**_> 12:45pm_ **

Oh. 

 

**_Dad(dy)_ **

**_> 12:50pm_ **

just broke up with Pierre and ipp and i don’t know how to exist now

 

**_Dumb Gay With A Pen_ **

**_> 12:51pm_ **

I’m sorry what now?

 

**_Dad(dy)_ **

**_> 12:52pm_ **

I broke up with Pierre and then with ipp so that he didn’t have to choose. my last texts from both of them respectively are, “Okay,” and “Oh.”And suddenly I want to do something impulsive and destructive to either myself or something else. 

**_> 12:53pm_ **

I mean, more than I already have done. I fucking hate myself lmao 

 

**_Dumb Gay With A Pen_ **

**_> 12:53pm_ **

Jesus fuck.

**_> 12:53pm_ **

Call me out of school, I’ll come home. 

 

**_Dad(dy)_ **

**_> 1:02pm_ **

You’re called out and I’m swinging by in the taxi to pick you up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so sorry. Leave comments!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Andrey stopped in the doorway of the house, looking around as though it were his first time there. Or as though it were his last. 

“I don’t know what to do, Fedya.” He said quietly. “I- don’t know how to be without him. He told me to break up with him- he wanted- for me to do this. Fuck.” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. 

“Hey- Hey.” Fedya sighed softly, gently nudging Andrey to a couch and pushing him down onto it. “Hey. Look at me.” He waited until Andrey looked before he spoke. “You’re going to make it through this, okay? It’s fucking tough, and it’s gonna be fucking tough.” Fedya smiled softly, squeezing Andrey’s hand. “It’s gonna be tough, but you’ll make it through. And you’ll come out with a better understanding of who you are. You- Andrey. You alone. And it’s gonna be fucking awful. But you can do this.” 

Andrey let out a shuddering breath, nodding. “What about you? How’s your whole shitshow been. Still no response?” Fedya sighed a little, scrubbing at his face. 

“I stopped trying.” He admitted in a low voice, dangerous to breaking as he did. “I- I can’t stop staring at him at school, ‘Drey.”

Andrey nodded, considering his words carefully. “Well, aren’t we quite the pair.” He said finally. He dropped his head back, tilting it so that he could meet Fedya’s eyes. “So much for- I don’t know, everything being okay as long as we all stick together.” Fedya nodded, squeezing Andrey’s hand again gently. 

“And we’re not giving up on this web series.” Fedya said, seriously, looking at Andrey with a bit of a steely look to him. “We’ll figure it out. If- if someone else has to direct the two of them, it’s fine, we’ll make it work. Right? I mean, this show is like- I don’t know, our fucking baby.” 

Andrey choked out a surprised laugh, a genuine smile breaking across his face. “Won’t somebody think of the child?” He chuckled, squeezing Fedya’s hand back. “Yeah, there’s no way in shit we’re letting this drop.” Fedya smiled back at him, shifting on the couch until he could rest his forehead against Andrey’s shoulder. 

“God, we’re fucking messes.” He sighed. Andrey hummed in agreement, wrapping an arm around his friend instinctively. Within moments, he began carding his fingers through Fedya’s curls. 

“We really fucking are. All of us.” He said after a long silence. Fedya let out a pleased hum, leaning into the touch without a second’s hesitation, his eyes drifting shut. Andrey snorted at him, shifting to a more comfortable angle. “I just want to stop thinking. Even just for a small fucking minute.” Fedya hummed an understanding, opening his eyes to peer up at Andrey. 

“I fucking feel that.” He muttered under his breath, letting out another long sigh. Andrey looked back at him, and his hand slowed to a stop in Fedya’s hair.

“Do you maybe wanna…” He started, still staring down at his friend. Fedya looked at him, raising his eyebrows. 

“Can’t read your mind, ‘Drey, you gotta finish your sentences.”

“Oh fuck you.” Andrey said without any real heat. He leaned forward, pressing a slow, firm kiss to Fedya’s lips. “You know what I’m fucking talking about.” Fedya let out a quiet noise of surprise but kissed Andrey back, silently admitting to himself that he absolutely was not over his crush. 

Andrey hummed, shifting to cup Fedya’s face in his hands. “My room or yours?” He asked softly, pulling away ever so slightly. Fedya took a minute to reply, thinking it over quickly. 

“Mine,” Fedya muttered back, shifting a little. “Yours has memories.” Andrey didn’t pry, only grabbed Fedya’s hand, leading the way and a locking the door behind them. 

 

Fedya shifted on the bed comfortably, tucking an arm around Andrey. Honestly, he’d never have called that between them, he’d have been the big spoon, but fuck it, he’d just gotten laid, he was comfortable, and he could manage. Absently, Fedya pressed a kiss to Andrey’s shoulder. Andrey’s breathing has evened out a couple minutes beforehand and his breathing was more even then than it had been all day. 

Fedya’s phone buzzed on the nightstand next to him, its screen displaying multiple alerts. Fedya ignored it at first, shifting on the bed before it buzzed again and he let out a quiet groan, rolling over onto his back and grabbing it to check his notifications. 

Amidst several more recent texts from Sonya, there was a missed call and a subsequent voicemail. Both of them from Anatole. Fedya cursed under his breath and slid away from Andrey, sitting up on the bed to press the voicemail, holding the phone up to his ear nervously. 

_ Hey Fedya _ , the voice crackled through the phone after a second of breathing.  _ I just. Wanted to call and apologize. What I did with arguing with you and then not responding was really fucking shitty. And I mean, normally ghosting people isn’t a problem for me morally. But the thing is, you’re my best friend. And you’ve done so much for me, and you don’t deserve that.  _

_ I honestly hate not talking to you. I hate not having you and I don’t exactly know what to do with myself now that we’re not talking. And I know that it’s own damn fault that this is what’s happening but- I saw you looking at me today, and I realized that you already knew. And that I was just too caught up in my own head to notice. And you still were looking at me for an hour and a half like I was the only person in the room. And shit, I just- knew that if I wasn’t going to try and call you before i sure as hell had to now. I don’t blame you for not calling back, me being a dumbass withstanding. I just wanted to- I don’t know, offer closure I guess? Someone like you doesn’t deserve to be ignored, Fedya.  _

The voicemail shut off after a few seconds of silence and then rushed  _ I won’t freak out if you respond, I promise _ . 

Fedya slowly lowered the phone from his ear and stared at it in disbelief. Andrey woke after nearly an hour to Fedya still sitting like that, staring at his phone, long since dead. 

“Fedya?” He asked groggily. “What happened?” Fedya shook his head and finally put his phone down, shifting on the bed to move closer to Andrey. 

“It’s- nothing.” Fedya lied, reaching his arm out. “Go back to sleep, ‘Drey.”

Andrey looked like he wanted to protest, and then thought better of it and rolled onto his side, closing his eyes. Fedya shifted until he was holding Andrey again, letting himself drift off to a restless sleep. 

 

“Oh my god.” Sonya stopped in the doorway, and reached for Mary’s arm. “Oh. My. God. What the- fuck?”

“You owe me ten rubles.” Mary said dryly. “I told you that I know my brother better than anyone, pay up.” Sonya slapped a bill into Mary’s hand, shaking her head. 

“That’s so fucking weird.”She muttered, walking past to Mary’s room, dropping onto the bed. “It’s so weird to me that they’re not together anymore. Like, fuck, I remember when they weren’t a thing, and it’s still weird to me.”

Mary shrugged. “Andrey told me what happened more or less as soon as it happened. I don’t blame him for taking Pierre’s bait.” She said, sounding a bit mournful. “I’m just upset because of how bad off Andrey’s gonna be now. He was doing really well.” She said, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Pierre asked me to tell him when everyone was out so he could come get his stuff.” Sonya said, her voice practically emotionless as she reached for Mary, wrapping her arms around the younger girl. “But it’s gonna be okay, Mash. I promise.”

“Where’s he going to stay?” Mary asked blankly, sounding impossibly small.

“Marya’s.” Sonya murmured back, pulling Mary to the bed and tucking herself close to Mary, kissing her jaw gently. “And I already asked. Marya’s gonna watch out for him and keep us updated to make sure he’s okay too.”

“I don’t  _ care _ about him right now.” Mary said with a sudden flash of anger that quickly gave way to tears. “I  _ hate _ him right now.” She whimpered, burying her face in Sonya’s shoulder. “He should know… he should know, Sonya… why didn’t he know?” She trailed off. Sonya brushed her hand gently over Mary’s hair, kissing her forehead sweetly. 

“I know you’re upset, baby,” Sonya murmured softly. “But you know you care about him, and you’re going to worry about him too. We all will. I don’t- I don’t think Pierre expected Andrey to actually do it.”

Mary sobbed. “Drush was upset and he did what he was told.” She sniffled. “As much as he likes to think he isn’t, he’s still afraid of men.” She explained. “I’m angry. With Pierre.” Mary clarified. Sonya let out a small breath and kissed Mary’s head again. 

“Alright, baby.” She said finally, conceding. “I’m worried about Pierre, as well as Andrey. And I’m doing my best to look out for everyone, but fuck if I’m not a mess too.” Sonya shifted to lay on her back, gesturing for Mary to curl up to her. Mary did, and after a moment blew a raspberry onto Sonya’s cheek to make her smile. Sonya did, laughing quietly. 

“You don’t have to look out for everyone, Yushka. You have to look out for you, first. And don’t hide your feelings for our sakes. That only makes things worse. Promise?” She asked, holding out her pinky finger. Sonya murmured the word back, hooking her pinkie finger with Mary’s and giving it a little pump of agreement.

“Hey. Love you, Marya.” Sonya murmured, kissing her. Mary kissed her back, humming happily. 

“I love you too, Sofi.” She said, holding Sonya tightly. “Very much.” Sonya smiled brightly, holding Mary  for a long minute before she glanced at Mary with a mischievous grin.

“Hey, Andrey’s asleep. Wanna model for my AP art homework?” Mary’s head snapped up so quickly she nearly smacked into Sonya’s nose. 

“Yes! Yes!” Mary whispered back, grinning. Sonya giggled and rolled off of the bed to shut the door, locking it quickly and hurrying back to the bed, digging through her backpack, still giggling. 


	20. Chapter Twenty

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:30pm_ **

Not going to cheer today.

**_> 4:31pm_ **

Not gonna be home tonight either. 

**_> 4:32pm_ **

Dunno where. Just can’t be home. 

**_> 4:33pm_ **

And can’t go to andrey’s. 

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:34pm_ **

Okay, stay safe and I love you

**_> 4:35pm_ **

thank you for telling me ipp<333

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:36pm_ **

Yeah… 

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:37pm_ **

why the dots lito? what’s up

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:38pm_ **

Andrey broke up with me

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:39pm_ **

woah woah what the fuck? 

**_> 4:40pm_ **

ipp im so fucking sorry 

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:41pm_ **

And pierre “wants a break”

**_> 4:41pm_ **

Which i’m pretty sure is code for breaking up with me too

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:42pm_ **

yeah that’s exactly what that is. fucking hell

**_> 4:43pm_ **

Can i do anything rn? 

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:47pm_ **

What did i do wrong?

**_> 4:47pm_ **

Why does no one love me, lenk?

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:48pm_ **

ipp baby that’s not true, we love you. 

**_> 4:48pm_ **

Anatole and me and Marya love you

**_> 4:49pm_ **

you didn’t do anything wrong and you are loved

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:54pm_ **

Am i broken?

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:54pm_ **

absolutely not. never have been and never will be. we popped out of a pussy within seconds of each other. Id Know. 

**_> 4:55pm_ **

and if you are, it means that Anatole and I are too. And we can be broken together. And anyways, broken doesn’t mean unwhole 

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 4:57pm_ **

Why do i feel broken lenk?

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 4:58pm_ **

because papa made us feel broken. he lied. all of us are wonderful. especially you.

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 5:12pm_ **

I can’t

**_> 5:13pm_ **

I don’t know how

**_> 5:14pm_ **

I don’t

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 5:14pm_ **

don’t what, love?

**_> 5:16pm_ **

Ipp????

**_Big bro_ **

**_> 5:16pm_ **

i’m sorry

**_Mid Sib_ **

**_> 5:17pm_ **

Ippolit what’s going on?

**_> 5:18pm_ **

ipp come on I know you might not be able to do words right now but what is going on? 

**_> 5:19pm_ **

did you just come in? 

**_> 5:20pm _ **

don’t u dare pick a fight with him im on my way down holy fuck


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Fedya stared at the message on his phone before he cursed under his breath. “Yeah, ‘Drey, we’re not filming anytime soon.” He said, looking over at Andrey. “Ippolit picked a fight with his father and is in the hospital.”

Andrey was out of the bed like a shot, pulling on the first clothes he found. “What hospital?”

“Anatole didn’t say.” Fedya replied quietly, setting his phone down to grab clothes as well, tugging them on hurriedly. “Let me call him and ask, hang on.” He didn’t hesitate before pressing the call button, holding the phone up to his ear. “A- Alyosha?” Fedya said hesitantly when the other side was picked up. 

“Fedya?” Came Anatole’s voice, thick with tears. Fedya’s breath was shaky. 

“It’s me- where is he? We’re coming, we’re on our way, where are you all?”

Anatole rattled off the address with far too much ease, then went silent, seeming unsure of himself. Fedya slid into the car, still breathing shakily. “Okay- Okay, talk to me, Ana- Yoshi, talk to me.” Fedya said, uncertainly, but doing his hardest to be a grounding presence for the other boy. 

“He- Papa was- Ippolit walked in while Papa was holding the butt of his cigar to my forearm and just- it was fine, it’s not the worst- but Ippolit just started yelling at him- and Papa- he just- he just- Ipp kept shoving me out of the way and dad’s in custody now- Elya took video- after they called the cops-” he broke off with shuddering sobs. Elya’s own crying could be heard as the two murmured to each other.

Fedya silently thanked every god that Ippolit had ended up at the hospital nearest where the Bolkonsky-Dolokhov house was, and he and Andrey managed to get to the ER before anything big could happen beyond Anatole’s breaking down. Fedya barely blinked at the sight of Pierre and Marya pulling into the parking lot at the same time, both hurrying inside as well. Pierre moved to Elya immediately, offering them his arm to them and wrapping them in a hug, soothing them as best he could. Elya pushed away with a broken noise, moving back to Anatole almost mindlessly. 

Fedya didn’t hesitate the second he saw Anatole, tugging him into his arms and holding him, soothing him as best he could, petting his hair back and murmuring soft words to him. Anatole held him so tightly that his wiry arms might have been made of iron. He was mumbling something, though it was unclear if Fedya was meant to hear it or make sense of it. Elya placed a hand on Anatole’s back, and stared at Fedya, eerily steady save for the tears running down their cheeks.

Fedya murmured soothingly still, rubbing gentle shapes on Anatole’s side, holding him close and pressing kisses to his head, anything he could do to help soothe Anatole. Marya reached for Elya’s hand, the one not on Anatole, and gently squeezed it. “How bad is it? Have they told you?” Marya asked softly. 

“They don’t want to talk.” Anatole said as Elya removed their hand from Marya’s grasp. “Concussion, cracked ribs. Dislocated shoulder.” Anatole rattled off, voice muffled by Fedya’s shoulder and his own tears. “Pierre, I wouldn’t touch them if you want to be allowed to see him.” He said, and then added, “you too, Andrey.” 

Andrey nodded numbly as his name was said, although he looked dazed and pale and he stared blankly at nothing. He was shaking, and Anatole made a soft noise and went to him, but not after giving Fedya another tight hug and a soft, “thank you.” 

“Hey hotstuff.” Anatole said softly, stopping before he touched Andrey. Andrey tensed before he focused on Anatole, letting out a harsh breath. 

“I’m here- I’m fi-” 

“If you say that you’re fine you’re a liar and a jackass. Come here.” Anatole snapped, pulling his friend into a tight hug. “He’ll be glad you two came. Whatever happened between all of you notwithstanding. I’m glad you came.” Andrey buried his face in Anatole’s hair, his sobs muffled. 

Elya looked at Fedya after making sure Anatole was alright, holding a hand out to him tentatively. Fedya hesitated as well but took their hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before offering his arms to let them come to him for a hug if they wanted. They went to him, falling into his arms with a soft noise. Fedya raised his hand, gently soothing down the back of their head and murmuring soft, soothing things. He only looked up when there was a soft noise from one of the nurses.

“He’s awake.” She said, gesturing to the door. “Family first.”

Anatole and Elya broke away from their friends and attached to each other, moving as one unit after the nurse without a backwards glance. Ippolit looked miserable in the bed, appearing small against the overwhelming white of the hospital, flinching a little at the sound of the closing door. 

Ippolit said something, in a voice so soft that he couldn’t be heard, though whether it was due to injury or simply lack of trying wasn’t clear. Elya moves towards him gingerly, Anatole close behind. “What was that, Ipp?” He asked.

“-’Drey?” Ippolit tried again, coughing with a pained look on his face at the effort. “P-Pierre?”

Elya began to speak, and then paused turning to look back at Anatole. The look of hurt was mirrored between them, and when they turned back, Anatole was the one to speak again. “They- how much do you remember, Lito?” 

Ippolit blinked a few times and shifted on the bed, wincing at the sudden pain in his shoulder. “Ow!” He muttered a few choice curse words before stammering. “Uh- I- Free period, um, Andrey and I got- milkshakes? And Pierre came, and- and then I woke up here? Did we get hit by- a car?”

Elya let out a choked noise, burying their face in Anatole’s shoulder, and Anatole wrapped his arms around them. Anatole closed his eyes, composing himself, and then he blinked back at Ippolit sadly. “You- Pierre and Andrey had a fight- and they broke up with each other. And then- with you.” Anatole said slowly, carefully, as though he could make it hurt less if he chose the right words for his big brother. Ippolit stared at Anatole until his eyes hurt, and then some, before shaking his head the small amount he could. 

“No. No, that’s not- no. Pierre? Andrey? I want- I want them-”

Anatole winced, biting his lip and looking away. He was saved from having to respond by the sound of the door opening, and Andrey stepping through, Pierre close at his heels. Andrey froze at the sight, eyes wide. Ippolit made a vague grabbing motion with his free hand, which was on the side Pierre was on, reaching for him. Pierre crossed and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking Ippolit’s hand. 

“Hey, baby,” Pierre said softly, pressing a kiss to Ippolit’s hand. “Hey.” Ippolit mumbled the greeting back before his eyes drifted to Andrey, and then to the sling on his own arm where he couldn’t reach for Andrey.

“That’s not nice.” Ippolit said decidedly, pouting at the sling. Anatole looked back at Andrey, swallowing thickly. Andrey drew in a shuddering breath, shaking his head and making to walk out of the room. “-Drey, ‘drey, come-” Ippolit let go of Pierre’s hand and reached for Andrey desperately. Andrey froze with his hand on the doorknob. 

“No, Ipp. I shouldn’t be here.” He said, breathing harshly. Ippolit made a soft noise of despair, making the same grabbing motion as before. 

“‘Drey!”

Anatole closed his eyes again as the door closed behind Andrey. “Lito… he’s not. He’s not wrong.” Ippolit made a noise of disagreement. 

“I don’t- fucking care- ‘Drey, I  _ hurt _ , please.” 

Elya’s keening sobs were audible through the fabric and Anatole’s jaw was tight. “Ippolit he broke up with you, leave it alone.” He said, a couple of tears escaping his own eyes. He was glaring at Pierre fiercely. Ippolit protested, and even Pierre seemed to flinch back away from Ippolit, his own face stony. 

“No- No, I want- ‘Drey.” His tone was growing more tired, defeated. 

Anatole didn’t say anything, just shook his head and held onto Elya more tightly. Pierre silently stood and walked towards the other side of the room, looking at the equipment as though it would give him some sort of answer. Ippolit finally grew quiet, though he was noticeably crying and struggling to sit up despite every ounce of him screaming in pain. 

“Ipp- Lito, don't do that you’re just going to hurt yourself.” Anatole said breathlessly, detangling himself from Elya and holding Ippolit down gently. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry, Lito.” He said, and he was crying then too. Ippolit continued to struggle against being held down, openly crying there, still reaching for the door. 

Pierre turned on his heel and moved to the door, shutting it with a quiet but firm snap and grabbing Andrey’s wrist, all but dragging him to a wall away from everyone else, letting go of Andrey and locking his own hands behind his back pointedly. “You’re hurting him.” Pierre said, not even pretending not to be accusatory. Andrey glared at him, but he looked more desperate than anything. 

“What should I do instead? Huh? Pretend that everything is fine? Like we didn’t  _ fucking _ \- leave him?” Andrey wipes his eyes roughly. “You go in and pretend that everything’s  _ fine _ , then. I  _ don’t belong here, Pierre. _ ” He spit, making to turn away. Pierre grabbed Andrey’s wrist again, carefully placing his fingers so Andrey could break out of his grip purely from habit of doing it. 

“You belong here because he  _ wants _ you here.” Pierre said in a low voice, though it was unsteady. “You came when you heard. You still care about him, Andrey. And he loves you.”

Andrey snarled, pulling his hand away. “I panicked. And shit- I still love him- but  _ you _ don’t want me here, and you two are together. So no, I don’t  _ fucking _ belong here, thanks.”

“I broke up with him.” Pierre said, shaking his head, scrubbing at his face. “I knew he’d choose you if he had to choose, and- and you belong here as much as I do, Andrey. I don’t- you belong here.” Andrey took a step backwards, a look of horror passing over his face. 

“He’d choose  _ you _ . You fucking know that. Why the hell did you break up with him?” Andrey asked, running his hands over his face. “You’re soft and gentle and- you’re what he needs. Fuck- I can’t…” 

“You- broke up with him. Thinking he’d pick me?” Pierre deadpanned, sighing. “He’d choose you, Andrey. You make him happier. I can’t give him everything he needs, and he’ll- need support from someone who understands what he’s gone through, not- not some fucking idiot doing his best.” Pierre leaned back against the wall slowly and let out a breath. “God- Andrey- he needs us both right now. Can we just- put this aside for now, for his sake?”

“He needs his siblings, Pierre. He needs to fucking talk to them- I hate this- this fucking idea that not talking about our fucking problems is going to make them go away! It’s  _ not _ , and situations like  _ this _ only happen when people try to brush their problems under the rug.” Andrey paused for breath, rubbing at his eyes again. “I can’t do this.” He mumbled to himself. A whisper meant not to reach Pierre’s ears. When he lifted his face to meet Pierre’s, it was wet with tears. “Why are you so fucking bent on me staying, anyway?” He said, and that time it was unclear whether or not Pierre was supposed to hear it. Pierre didn’t answer verbally, leaving it unclear as to whether or not he properly heard Andrey and just gently tugged Andrey to him, holding him the way he would through any of Andrey’s panic attacks, cradling him. 

“I love you, Andrey.” Pierre said softly, taking a deep breath. “And I fucked up so bad- I fucked up  _ so bad _ .” Andrey melted into the touch, sighing, before he tensed, looking up at Pierre suddenly and pulling back. 

“You told me to break up with you. Pierre- you don’t just get to say, ‘I love you’, like it’s true.” Andrey said. Pierre sighed a little and shifted, looking around before sinking to the floor, his back against the wall. 

“M’legs were hurting.” He mumbled first, running his fingers through his still-straightened his from the last time Marya had straightened it. “I- I’m a fucking idiot, Andrey. I’m. I am. The most. Fucking idiotic. Of idiots. In this idiotic world.”Andrey stared at him cautiously, staying silent. “I- I’m an idiot.” Pierre repeated again, as though he himself was processing the fact that was pretty obvious to anyone who knew him. He reached for his pocket and pulled out the small jewelry box he’d fiddled with every day for the last four months, waiting for the right moment. “I-” Pierre gave up trying to form a coherent sentence. 

Andrey gaped at him, looking spooked. He shook his head, taking a step back. “What the fuck. What the  _ fuck _ .” Pierre let out a long sigh and shook his head, fiddling with it. 

“I’ve- I’ve had this for a- a few months now. I wanted to- I don’t know, find the right time. And I thought, I don’t know, set? End of the year? I just. I don’t know, Andrey. I freaked the fuck out. And what do I do when I freak out?” He laughed bitterly. “I push people away.” Andrey looked between Pierre and the box, wary.

“You know you can’t- we can’t just- this doesn’t magically fix everything with us. You know that right?” He said, though his voice was less defensive and more… hopeful. 

“But we can work things out.” Pierre said quietly, fiddling with the box again. “That’s- that’s all I want, ba-” He stopped halfway through the word, looking up at Andrey, with a facial expression that could only be described as so full of love it looked painful. 

“I hooked up with Fedya.” Andrey blurted out, and then looked sheepish. “I… thought we should just… get that out there…” Pierre blinked, the expression not faltering for a second. 

“Okay?” Pierre paused. “How was it?”

Andrey looked suddenly embarrassed. “He was good… for his first and second times? I uh, I just- thought you should know? Like- I did it the night we broke up and uh- sorry.”

“Dryush, honestly, I still don’t give two shits who you fuck.” Pierre let out a bit a cough and awkward smile at a nurse who walked by. “I just- want you to be happy. And want Ippolit to be happy.” Andrey’s face fell, and he slid down the wall next to Pierre. Close enough to almost touch, but not quite. 

“Shit- God, Pierre. Ipp. I should have stayed that day in the library and told him to- should’ve just told Anatole and Elya myself- Fuck- fuck!!” He said miserably. Pierre reached over slowly with his free hand and settled it on Andrey’s knee, soothing him with a touch. Andrey stared at the hand, holding his breath as he reached out and covered it with his own. “I- Pierre… I love you. And I hate this whole- all of this. And I just want to be with you.” He laced their fingers together, and lifted his eyes to Pierre’s. “But I can’t do this unless we stop being complicit in this feedback loop of- fucking- miscommunication.” He looked hopeful, painfully so, hand he squeezed Pierre’s hand. “I know it pissed you off, but I was serious about not being able to do it. And especially now that Vasili’s out of the picture, it  _ has  _ to change, Pierre. It  _ has  _ to.”

“So we’ll make it change.” Pierre whispered back, gently squeezing Andrey’s hand and nodding his head. “We can- Fuck, the Kuragins can come stay at our place until Ippolit’s all healed. We can make this work, ‘Dryush, I know we can.”

Andrey opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when all that came out was a sob. He twisted towards Pierre, burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder.  “I was so  _ scared _ , Pierre.” He choked out. “I didn’t know what I was going to do without you.” Pierre wrapped his arms around Andrey immediately, kissing the top of his head, gently rocking him in his arms. 

“We’ll be okay, love, we’ll be okay,” Pierre whispered, his eyes squeezing tight as he just held Andrey, knowing it was all they needed right now. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Anatole said when Ippolit’s crying had quieted some. Elya had left to sit with Marya, hoping to ground themself, and Anatole had takes the seat besides Ippolit’s uninjured arm. Ippolit didn’t answer, staring pleadingly at the door still, as though if he looked hard enough, the pain behind his eyes would go away and the two he really wanted would walk through the door. Anatole sighed shakily. “I know you’d rather have them in here but- but I wanted to ask-” he cut himself off, frowning and biting his lip. “They said that there was an older bruise on your side- and I know it was him. And I just wanted to ask you- why you didn’t tell us?” 

Ippolit opened his mouth and closed it a few times, silent, before he reached for the cup of water on his bedside table, his hand shaking a little as he sipped, wincing at the pain. “I-” Ippolit stopped before whispering. “He left you alone.”

“Ipp- that’s not how this  _ works _ , you- you- can’t hurt yourself for our sakes.” He looked very young, pulled into himself and holding his arms close to his body. “It was supposed to be us three against everything.” Ippolit shook his head a little. 

“No, you- m’little brother. Need to protect.”

Anatole shook his head violently, his hands twitching as though he wanted to reach out and hold Ippolit. “Ipp, I don’t  _ care _ .” He said. “Never mind the stupid ten months between us- you’re my brother and I love you and I can’t handle you being hurt if you don’t have to be. And you  _ don’t have to be _ .” Anatole’s lip was trembling, and he looked pale, making the dark bruise high on his cheek even worse. Ippolit bit down on his bottom lip, wincing when he remembered that it was in fact injured and he was close to hurting it more. He sighed a little and looked away, his own lip trembling. 

Anatole sniffed, blinking hard. “I don’t see you anymore and I  _ miss _ you. I thought- I thought he- he looked like he was gonna-” his voice cracked and he looked down, silent. Ippolit shifted on the bed, as though he were trying to sit up again, before letting out an actual grunt of pain. Anatole’s head snapped up and his was gently pushing Ippolit back down, placing a small remote in his hand. “There’s a remote to help you sit up. The bed moves, and all that fun stuff.” Ippolit ignored the remote, using Anatole’s closeness to tug him closer, shifting on the bed with only a slight grimace to leave room for Anatole to sit properly on it. He had absolutely done it with the intention of getting Anatole closer. 

Anatole hesitated before settling on the bed next to his brother, slowly, so as not to jostle the mattress. “You’re mad at us.” He said, unable to let the silence stretch on for more than a couple of seconds. Ippolit snorted under his breath and rubbed at his shoulder for a minute, silent. 

“Really? I hadn't noticed.” Ippolit finally managed to get out, his tone biting. Anatole shifted back to the chair next to the bed, wincing. Ippolit frowned. 

“Don’t be like that.” Anatole mumbled, not meeting Ippolit’s eyes. Ippolit looked away and spoke softly. 

“You always assumed. You and Elya- you never asked. Just assumed. As bad as him sometimes, not even  _ asking _ .”

“You never- I- Lito, you never had bruises when we did! We had no reason to think that you got hit too-” Anatole froze, face contorting as what Ippolit had said sank in. “As… bad as Papa?” Ippolit’s face was stony before he looked away again, twisting to try and turn away from Anatole, stopping when he figured out he couldn’t. His voice was still soft when he spoke, barely above a whisper. 

“Want me to be- normal. Assumed I was. That he liked me better because of it.”

“We don’t want anything from you but for you to let us  _ in _ , Lito!” Anatole said, crying freely then. “We knew you were different like us, we just didn’t know that he used to hit you. And when he started to again- you- you still didn’t tell us!” Anatole’s eyes were fixed on the small part of Ippolit’s face that he could still see. “We couldn’t have known- we wanted to know!” Ippolit let out a soft noise close to a sob, struggling to twist away from Anatole more. 

“You never asked!” Ippolit finally burst out, unable to stop himself. “You never ask! You assume I just want to talk! That- that I don’t need fucking prompts, that- that-” Ippolit sobbed and turned further away from Anatole, ignoring the pain. 

“When we  _ do _ ask, you  _ still _ don’t let us know! In any sense of the meaning, Ipp, it’s not an assumption!” Anatole sobbed, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “We ask all the time and then you get mad at us for pushing, and when we don’t ask we’re ignoring you and I- Ipp we never  _ want _ for you to be hurt! We just  _ want _ to know how to  _ help _ !”

“Maybe I don’t want your help.” Ippolit hissed through tears, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Maybe I don’t- I don’t want any of you.” 

Anatole seemed to stop breathing, and he blinked at his big brother with wide eyes. “Ipp- Lito you don’t mean that?” He said, though it sounded more like a question than anything else. Ippolit didn’t answer, not looking at Anatole, expression stony, though tears still fell from his eyes. 

“Ipp?” Anatole whispered, still as a statue,  with a look of horror plastered onto his face. Ippolit didn’t answer, unmoving. Anatole paled, staring at Ippolit. When he spoke, his voice was quavering and distant. “Then why spend your time trying to protect us?” He swallowed, fingers picking at the fabric of his shirt as he grew more frantic. “If we- if we’re as bad as Papa- you should’ve just let him  _ kill us _ .” He choked out, breath coming in short, tearfilled bursts. 

“I think you should leave.” Ippolit said in a low voice, thick with tears, still refusing to look at Anatole. 

“Okay. I will. I’m sorry Lito- please, please believe me. I- I’m going to leave. I’m sorry.” He said, breathing still labored. He burst out of the room, walking towards the lobby- and directly into Pierre. He yelped, and then gave a soft cry of panic when he saw who it was. “I’m- I’m sorry-” He babbled, eyes wild. “I didn’t know- I didn’t know- I’m sorry-” 

Andrey stepped in front of Pierre, holding his hands up and shooting a confused glance at Fedya. “Anatole,  _ Anatole _ , hey, you need to breath, okay? It’s Andrey. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” When Anatole seemed to listen, to him, Andrey stepped forward, pulling the smaller boy into his arms. “Shhh, okay, that’s good, keep breathing slow, yep, just like that Tolya, mkay…” he murmured. Glancing again at Fedya and then at Pierre, mouthing  _ what the fuck? _ At them both. Fedya shook his head a little, watching Anatole worriedly. Pierre watched with a soft look, also clearly unsure. 

“A-anatole?” Fedya said softly, reaching out a hand slowly. “Hey?”

Anatole peeked out at him, still trembling although his breaths had slowed some. He blinked a couple of times and mouthed Fedya’s name to himself. “I’m as bad as Papa.” He whispered hiccuping with the aftershocks of his sobs. “Lito said… Andrey, I didn’t know- I didn’t… didn’t know…” Fedya slowly reached for Anatole’s hand, hesitant but doing his best to pull Anatole from Andrey without making it seem overtly obvious that was what he was doing. Anatole latched onto him, and Andrey let him go, frowning.

“Jesus, Tolya.” Andrey said, running his now free hands through his hair. He glanced at Pierre again, at a loss for words. 

“He doesn’t want us around. Me and- and Ela. Says I’m as bad as- Papa.” Anatole sent himself into another fit of sobs. Fedya hushed gently, gently pressing a kiss to Anatole’s forehead. 

“Breathe, Yosh, breathe,” Fedya murmured, slowly stepping backwards and pulling Anatole with him, sinking down onto a bench and pulling him with, soothing and soft. “Yosh, tell me five things you can see.” Anatole made a soft noise of confusion, but pulled back enough so that he could look around. 

“One, Andrey. Hi Andrey.” He said, and Andrey gave a little wave. “Two Pierre. Three… the floor. Four, Fedya, five- the gurney down the hall.” He was back to hiccuping, and his tears had stopped. Fedya soothed a hand over Anatole’s hair, rubbing gentle circles on his back. 

“Four things you can hear, Yosh.”

“Pierre’s breathing.” Anatole said immediately, and Andrey stifled a laugh in spite of himself. “The air conditioning… three, the lights. Four, your- your music is playing through your headphones.” Anatole said, poking at the earbuds that hung around Fedya’s neck. Fedya laughed softly, nodding his head. 

“Three things you can smell. I know it sucks to smell things in a hospital, but.” Fedya gave Anatole a gentle smile. Anatole stared at his face for a second to long before he leaned his head on Fedya’s shoulder. 

“Your shampoo. It’s nice. Two uh… ammonia. Three, old people.” He said. “I’m sorry you had to come back to a hospital.” Fedya shrugged slightly, smoothing back Anatole’s hair again gently. 

“I’m okay. You’re what’s important right now. Two things you can touch.”

“Your shirt. It’s really soft. And your hair is kinda long. And pretty. And it’s touching my face. So that.” Anatole’s breath still hitched every few seconds, but he had calmed mostly.

“One thing you can taste.” Fedya murmured lastly. Anatole picked his head up wordlessly staring at Fedya, so close that Fedya could feel his breath. Fedya stared back. Slowly, without speaking, Anatole closed the small gap between them and kissed Fedya.

“You.” He mumbled, and then buried his face in Fedya’s shoulder. Fedya let out a soft, disbelieving laugh, but wrapped his arms around Anatole, holding him gently. 

“Ippolit is upset,” Fedya said finally, in a soft voice. “And he’s lashing out, and it means he’s going to be very mean right now, probably. Give him some time, baby, he just needs some time.” Anatole sniffled, nodding.

“Thank you. A lot- I- you didn’t have to do this and… it’s- I miss you.” Anatole said, fingers curling into the fabric of Fedya’s shirt. Fedya kissed Anatole’s head in reply, soothing circles on Anatole’s back still. 

“You’re going to be okay.” Fedya murmured. “And Ippolit is going to be okay, and so will Elya. They’ll probably keep Ippolit overnight and then discharge him tomorrow as long as he’s with people who’ll take care of him, and I think Pierre and Andrey are about to go fix things with him, so they’ll have him. We’ll take good care of him.”

“What the shit did I do to deserve you?” He asked, tears welling up in his eyes again. Andrey gently took Pierre’s hand, tugging him away from the two, back to Ippolit’s room. “You just- swoop in like some fucking angel… fuck.” Anatole pushed his nose into Fedya’s shoulder, trying to press closer. Fedya chuckled under his breath and shrugged a little. 

“Everyone’s got their savior when they’re close to the breaking point, I s’pose.” Fedya paused, a little bit guiltily. “Lemme- write that down, that was a good one.” He shifted, pulling his phone out and typing it into his notes with one hand, while still holding Anatole with his other. “Okay, alright, sorry, all yours again.” Anatole laughed softly. 

“How in character for you.” He hummed, pressing a kiss to Fedya’s neck. Fedya made a soft noise, brushing his fingers loosely through Anatole’s hair. 

“Try and get some rest, yeah? It’s gonna be a long night. I’ll be here, right here. M’not going anywhere, and I doubt you’re about to let me.” Anatole snorted softly, though his eyes had been dropping for a while. 

“Y’could go. S’kay if you want to go like, sleep’n a bed.” Anatole murmured, already falling asleep under the weight of the past few months. Fedya shifted on the bench until he could gently nudge Anatole out, using Marya to help stretch Anatole’s legs out, gently placing his head on Fedya’s lap to let him sleep there. Marya, smartly, having brought extra hoodies of Pierre’s, rested one on Anatole like a blanket and nodded at Fedya before returning to another bench with Elya, wrapping her arm back around them with a soft sigh. 

“Hey,” Marya murmured. “You wanna talk?” She paused to let Elya reply nonverbally if they wanted to. Elya stared at their younger brother sadly. 

“‘S upset with us.” They said, sounding almost resigned. “But I didn’t think it would be like this. Hates us.” Elya shook their head, laying down in Marya’s lap. “I don’t want to know what he said yet. I don’t think I can handle that. One more thing and I’ll walk right out the door and into traffic. That’d hurt less.” They trailed off sleepily. Marya opened her mouth to reply sadly when her phone dinged with a message and she glanced at it, closing her mouth. 

“Let me up for a sec, El, there’s someone here for you.” Marya murmured, gently lifting Elya’s head to hurry towards the front of the hospital. When she came back, the second person broke away from Marya’s side. 

“Fedya texted.” Natasha said worriedly, taking Elya’s hand. “Are you okay? Is he okay? What’s going on- If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll just shut up, I think I’m rambling, but I’m worried about you.” Natasha paused, a faint blush high on her cheeks as she finally took a breath, still holding Elya’s hands. Elya stared at her in wonder, and then pulled her into a tight hug. 

“I can talk about it after… after sleep.” Elya said pulling back to look at Natasha. Again, they looked at her in disbelief, and then leaned in to kiss her tenderly. “Thank you so much for coming, Tasha. So much.” Natasha smiled, reaching up to tuck a curl behind Elya’s ear. 

“Course,” she murmured, kissing them again. “C’mon, get some sleep, baby.” 

“Mkay…” Elya hummed, draping an arm around Natasha’s front and resting their head on her shoulder, letting out a tired sigh. Natasha smiled a little, accepting the offer of another one of Pierre’s hoodies from Marya and wrapping it around both her own and Elya’s shoulders, holding them close, singing softly until they fell asleep. 

 

Ippolit shifted on the bed, looking at the door stonily when Pierre and Andrey walked in, the stony look dropping almost immediately and a small smile slowly spreading across his face, though it did nothing to hide the tear tracks down his cheeks. Andrey smiled back tentatively. “Hey- hey Ipp. We wanted to talk about… us… with you?” He looked to Pierre for help with words. Pierre hadn’t let go of Andrey’s hand the other entire, though now he raised Andrey’s hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, moving to sit down next to Ippolit’s bed. 

“Hey.” He said softly, gesturing to the bed for Andrey, so they could sit by Ippolit together still. “Ipp, we- We both fucked up, and you got the brunt of it. I fucked up more than Andrey, to be fair, but-” Pierre paused uncomfortably, gathering his thoughts before continuing to speak. “We want to make this work. But the reason Andrey and I worked so well for so long was because we talked. All the time. Even if it made us uncomfortable. Even if we didn’t want to. And we want to make it work with you, but you can’t push us away if we want to work. Right, ‘Drey?” 

Andrey nodded, squeezing Pierre’s hand and giving him a fond look before he looked back at Ippolit. “We had a fight because we didn’t communicate. And we broke up because of a miscommunication. And I think, correct me if I’m wrong, this whole situation was caused by lack of communication.” His voice was soft, calm, though it was still hoarse from crying. “We fucked up, and we hurt you, and that’s on us. And we’re sorry for it. But people are going to keep getting hurt if we don’t start to communicate.” Ippolit looked between them, brow furrowed with confusion.

“I started this, Ippolit.” Pierre said, leaning forwards a little to get his attention. “I caused a good amount of this mess, and that’s on me. And we know asking you to be the same as us isn’t something we should be doing. But in a relationship, everyone is equal, and we need you to  _ try _ to communicate with us. Even if it’s not verbally, baby. We want this to work.” Ippolit’s bottom lip trembled but he nodded slightly, looking between them hopefully. 

“We want to get back together with you, Ipp. If you’ll have us.” Andrey murmured. “So…?” Ippolit nodded and reached with his good hand for Andrey’s, giving it a squeeze in imitation of Pierre barely seconds before. 

“I- want to work.” Ippolit’s voice was soft. “I’m not- talking to- my siblings, I can’t- but with you- I can try.” Andrey leaned forward to kiss Ippolit’s forehead gently, but he looked almost guilty when he pulled back. 

“We’re going to…” Andrey paused, choosing his words carefully before continuing, “you’re going to have to try with them too, baby. Not now, maybe not for a few days. But it’s something that has to happen.” He glanced at Pierre for support. Pierre nodded his head in agreement, watching Ippolit. Ippolit swallowed, looking away for a minute, battling internally, before he turned back and nodded. 

“Not yet. But- later.” Ippolit agreed. Andrey visibly relaxed, leaning in to kiss Ippolit on the cheek. 

“Later works, baby. You get time to rest first.” Andrey smiled. “We’re gonna take care of you, mkay? Me and Pierre.”

“M’kay.” Ippolit said, shifting on the bed, finally worn out enough that he just wanted to sleep. Pierre smiled softly, standing and moving to the other side of the bed finally, kissing the side of Ippolit’s head. 

“We’ll be here for the night. Fedya has Anatole, and Natasha and Marya are with Elya.” Pierre said softly, sitting down carefully on the bed. “Try and get some rest, love.” He looked across at Andrey. “You too, Drey.” Andrey rolled his eyes affectionately and settled down next to Ippolit, opening his arms to let him settle as comfortable as he could. 


	22. Twenty Two

**_AGhostOrRather:_ **

**_Hey, everyone. Sorry for the sudden radio silence. Let me explain really quickly what’s been going on in my life and why I went quiet. This is, of course, with permission from everyone who has since been involved in the going ons._ **

**_The person playing Andi, @InflictYourMindOnMine, has been in and out of the hospital due to severe injuries from a car accident a few weeks back. He’s okay, thank fuck, but currently just nursing broken ribs and a concussion. Andrey and I have been actively involved in making sure he’s okay and doing okay. Lots of love towards Ippolit, everyone go give him some love and well wishes (just please don’t overwhelm him with asks about the show)._ **

**_The thing that I think literally everyone has been waiting for has happened. As of two weeks ago, @AndTheLightsWentOut and I are dating. I think (don’t quote me on it). We haven’t had the chance to really spend time together, but maybe if you go follow him, you’ll get a face reveal from me if he posts pictures of us. Maybe._ **

**_And lastly. Lastly. On_ ** **_this_ ** **_word, you'll see a hyperlink. What’s that, you ask? Well, that would be the link to the first episode of Hosanna: The Story of Emmy Bent. That’s right, you heard it here first. The first episode is up and out! Major congratulations are in order to Sonya and Andrey for working their ASSES off to get this episode out and properly done. You can find them both, of course, on their Menthive accounts @DontStopMeTillImThere (Or @IWillFinallyStopRunning) and of course, @StriveForGreatness._ **

**_Oh, also, everyone tell @StriveForGreatness to stop being a tease and just accept the goddamn proposal._ **

**_Kisses to one and all._ **

**_~Fedya_ **

_#we’re using my real name now oh god, #aghostorrather, #i believe the ship name sonya has been using for us is, #alyodor, #which i like, #it’s cute, #like him, #:D, #emmy, #the web series, #hosanna: the story of emmy bent, #i’m ALWAYS happy to talk about my work, #FEDYA’S BACK MOTHERFUCKERS, #for those of you wondering, #fedya is the russian equivalent of teddy_

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ **

u kno what’s also UP and OUT? my DICK

**_AGhostOrRather replied to a comment:_ **

Yosh do you take constructive criticism on things you write?

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ **

_@AGhostOrRather_ no absolutely not

**_AGhostOrRather replied to a comment:_ **

Alyosha: enters. Swagger: ridiculous. Head: held high. Dick: out. He is forcibly removed from this relationship.

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut commented_ ** :

FIRST OF ALL, RUDE. SECONDLY U WISH I COULD SEE MY DICK OUT

**_AGhostOrRather replied to a comment:_ **

How vain do u have to be to wish to see your own dick out. #typos

  


**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Hey! Congrats on you and Alyosha!!! If you don’t mind my asking, why’s the web series called Hosanna?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Hosanna, anglicized version of the word הושיעה נא, meaning ‘savior, save, rescue.’ I think it’s pretty fitting. It is used both in the Old and New Testament, in Psalms (118:25), Mark (11:9-10), and Matthew (21:9). I had a bit of religion in my upbringing, ha.

And thanks on the congrats!

_#teddy answers, #fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #answered, #alyodor, #hosanna: emmy bent_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

wait ur gay?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

I’m bisexual, with a strong preference for men. I personally use the terms ‘bisexual’ or ‘queer’ to describe my sexuality, though I’ve been known to use gay as an umbrella term for myself.

_#fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #answered, #alyodor, #lgbt+, #i’m a bi boy_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Holy shit! A post from Teddy AND religious imagery and words? Dude, welcome back!

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Thank you, thank you. And yeah, as I said before, religion was a major part of my upbringing and childhood, so it makes sense to give small nods to it here and there.

_#fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #answered, #i’ve returned!, #religion mention,_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Is Ippolit okay?! That being said, I’M SO FUCKING PUMPED!!! You and Alyosha!!!!

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Ippolit’s doing pretty okay. He’s still a little shaken up, but he’s doing good. He’s a smiley boy. (I’ll reblog with a picture when he’s home next). And thank you!

_#fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #answered, #alyodor, #ippolit_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

I JUST WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE HHHHHHHHH IS THE CHICK WHO PLAYS EMMY SINGLE?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Alas, alas, Sonya is taken by my lovely darling sister @HowWillYouGrieveForMe. And last I heard, they weren’t looking for a third. However, support the hell out of the happiest goddamn lesbians I’ve seen in my life.

_#fedya answers, #answered, anonymous, #anons, #i can’t fucking believe how many asks i’m going to need to delete about whether or not everyone is single_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Holy fuck, that first episode. -Slightly Gay Anon

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

I KNOW RIGHT?

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anons, #anonymous, #slight gay anon, #bro it’s insane, #watching them film is insane_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

WAS THAT A PICTURE OF EMMY AND ANDI IN THE BACKGROUND AT 15:26??????

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Yup! We spent a lot of time with a whole bunch of gays with polaroid cameras. Any pictures you see are in fact things we took on set, or while getting costumes fitted, or whatnot.

_#fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #answered, #polaroid hoes, #tag yourself i’m a polaroid queer, #the bent siblings_

 

**_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ **

Yeah, andrey, accept the goddamn proposal. (kidding)

**_AGhostOrRather answered privately:_ **

I WANT MY DADS TO GET MARRIED wait i fucked one of my dads W I L D

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

describe ur boyfriend wtf!!!

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Alyosha is incredible. He’s so sweet and soft and pure and I like him very much. He’s INSANELY talented artistically, and I’ve been informed that when I hear him play violin, I’ll probably cry. Whether because he’s too damn pretty or because music, I don’t know yet.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #alyosha has a tag now mwahaha, #my boyfriend’s tag, #HTAT’S SO HOT TO WRITE WTF, #alyodor_

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ **

HFJGJGJFJFKFJ WHAT THE FU K!!!! THAYS G AY DUDE

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ **

WHAT A GREAT DAY 2 LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

ANDI IS CANON AUTISTIC WHAT??? I’VE BEEN HEADCANONING FOREVER!!!!

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

You have Ippolit to thank for that! I personally wouldn’t have written it in unless Ippolit had asked me to. I don’t trust myself to properly write something that has so little research, and I myself am not, but Ippolit has been so incredible with letting me ask him questions or providing criticism.

_#i do good writer things, #and ask those around me for help, #fedya answers, #anonymous, #andi bent, #ippolit, #anons,_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

transition goals: Andrei (wtf dude)

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Honestly Andrey’s always been hot but like i almost died when he took his shirt off and i live with the bastard.

_#just that gay, #fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #andrey is daddy, #i hate that that isn’t the first time i typed that_

**_AndTheLightsWentOut commented:_ **

he likes when u call him that during sex, fun fact ;))

**_StriveForGreatness commented:_ **

_@AndTheLightsWentOut_ i can and will kill you

**_AGhostOrRather commented:_ **

_@AndTheLightsWentOut_ I know ;))))

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

I hate that I’m already shitting My and nothing big even HAPPENED YET! The writing is so amazing though, I’m so excited to see this brought to life

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

JUST YOU WAIT OH LOVELY ANON

_#fedya answers, #anonymous, #anons, #hosanna: emmy bent, #answered_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

MANDI CONFIRMED MANDI CONFIRMED MANDI CONFIRMED MANDI CONFIRMED

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

MANDI CONFIRMED MANDI CONFIRMED MANDI CONFIRMED

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #MANDI CONFIRMED_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

watching andi stim literally cleared my skin and healed my soul. im crying. thank u so so so much

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Let me direct you towards @InflictYourMindOnMine because it’s him you have to thank for all of this. Just be warned he can’t look at a screen for very long right now.

_#fedya answers, answered, anonymous, anons, #andi bent, #ippolit,_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

WHERE’S MANDI WHAT ANON WHERE?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Uhhhhhh the episode?

_#someone has the exact time mark?, #help this anon out, #mandi, #fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Oh my god i didnd’t think i was even remotely gay until watching sonya play emmy what the fuuuuuck she talks the way i hear emmy talk in my head that’s fuckin terrifyi

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Haze came outta nowhere to kill them. (But also agreed.)

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #sonya, #hosanna: emmy bent_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

power move: casting a trans actor in a not specifically trans roll.

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

:)

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #all for you, #andrey bolkonsky, #bolkonsky films_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

LIKE CLOSE TO THE TEN MINUTE MARK WATCH THE OPEN DOOR ON THE LEFT @ MANDI SEARCHERS THEY’RE CONFIRMED OH MY GOD

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

There you go, previous anon asking about mandi.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #mandi_

 

**_HowWillYouGrieveForMe asked:_ **

Hey can you tell sonya i’m literally so gay and in love? Cause hooooo boy.

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Hey, Sonya? Your girlfriend thinks you’re hot.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #howwillyougrieveforme, #mary <3’s tag, #i’m laughing so hard _

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Who plays Haze? ‘Cause I have a really good screenshot from the ep from when Haze was briefly on screen and whoever it is has a fucking great ass

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Thanks, it’s genetic.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #:DDDDDDDD_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

Okay so i was looking at ur casting and i almost cried i know half of these people do we all go to school together?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

…. Probably.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #rip anonymity_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut asked:_ **

i know it’s like midnight but… UH im coming over

**_AGhostOrRather answered privately:_ **

Door should be unlocked, the triad’s on the couches watching Titanic or some shit.

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

YOU HAVE A TRANS ACTOR PLAYING A CIS ROLE I’M CRYING I’M CRYING SO MUCH THANK YOU THANK YOU

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

You are so very welcome.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #andrey bolkonsky, #trans positivity, #??_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

  max really has it going on if u kno what i fuckin mean

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Hey pierre people think ur hot

_#hosanna: emmy bent, #pierre, #fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut asked:_ **

   i wonder how many ppl from school are gonna recognize yall. this has to be the WEIRDEST way to come out.

**_AGhostOrRather answered privately:_ **

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

hey uhhh not to be gay but I want max to RAW me

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

@OhDearGodImAFuckingMess

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #IM HHHHHH_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

we need to kno: was the dick list true to life?????

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Nah.

_#let the dickcourse END, #fedya answers, #anons, #nsfw//, #anonymous, answered_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

At this point i’m just curious, what are your grades like rn because holy shit how do you have time to LIVE?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

Uhhhh. I’m in ten classes during the day, and I have. Four 4’s and six 5’s. So almost all perfect grades.

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons, #school mention, #keep in mind i’m fully aware that i’m naturally smart and good at retaining information, #and i don’t sleep much_

 

**_Anonymous asked:_ **

WAIT YOU PLAY HAZE WE HAVE YOU ON SCREEN?

**_AGhostOrRather answered:_ **

:D

_#fedya answers, #answered, #anonymous, #anons,_

 

**_AndTheLightsWentOut sent a message to OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ **

**_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hey pierre?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** hey

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** sorry to bother u but uh

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** how’s ipp doing?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** he’s doing alright.

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** asleep at the mo. fell asleep on Andrey’s lap.

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** like, emotionally? how is he?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** like he has nightmares when dad does something really bad and i kno he says he doesn’t remember it but like

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** if he’s having them are they happening like, less?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** he can’t sleep unless one of us is with him

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** honestly i

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** i think he remembers full well and just doesn’t want to admit it

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** i can vouch for that

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** in that like I’d guessed but im kinda not in the picture anymore so I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but yeah the not being able to sleep alone thing figures.

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** it works out. Andrey’s nightmares have been bad too, so they’ve been good for each other.

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh okay

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** hey pierre?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** actually nvm

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** whats up?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** its nothing, go back 2 being gay

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** hey anatole?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** …yeah?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** im sorry about what i did on the bus a while ago

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** i overreacted and didnt get the info

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** and i shouldnt have hurt you

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** oh

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** don’t worry abt it

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** at this point i think i deserved it.

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** all’s fair in war and peace

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** wait no that’s not how the saying goes what the fuck is it?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** uh

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** sayings arent my thing. Im an actor

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** and a writer but listen im an actor first and a writer second

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** dijfjfjsjd

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but yeah uh. see u around ig?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** you know that other story of fedya’s?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** last read at?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** … yeah why?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** fedya gave mary the okay today for her to script and film it and i kno for a fact they were planning on dragging u into the mess

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** just a heads up

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** wait

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** wait hold on what?

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** r u being serious?

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** yeah

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** they were talking casting and they said, and i quote

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** “so obviously christopher is pierre, emma grace is sonya, and lionel is anatole, but who else can we cast”

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** ur being dragged into these messes, good luck

 ** _AndTheLightsWentOut:_** oh dear god

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** but that’s really cool tbfh

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** and surprising. thanks for letting me kno

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** yep

 **_AndTheLightsWentOut:_ ** and thank u for telling me abt lito

 **_OhDearGodImAFuckingMess:_ ** of course


	23. Twenty Three

“So apparently we’re boyfriends now-oh.” Anatole stopped in the doorway of Fedya’s room, eyes widening. “Oh my GOD.” He smiled, gleeful at the sight before him.  Fedya cursed audibly and scrambled in his blankets, all but throwing his phone across the room. 

“Anatole,” Fedya said hurriedly, the name still foreign to him. He kept defaulting back to Alyosha, or Aly, and definitely seemed to prefer calling Anatole that, his own private nickname. “Anatole, oh my  _ god _ , have you heard of knocking, Jesus-”

“Clearly  _ you’ve  _ heard of knocking-, oh my fucking  _ god _ .” He cackled as he crossed to where Fedya’s phone had landed and looked at the screen. “ _ Oh _ my fucking  _ god _ , this is too much.” Fedya scowled, shifting in his blankets in an attempt to kick a pillow over his lap without actively moving to do that, crossing his arms and all but glowering at Anatole. 

“Can I _help_ _you_??” Fedya grumbled. Anatole’s smile widened. 

“I mean, maybe. But my helping  _ you  _ is probably going to come first. You’re also probably going to come first.” He said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Okay!” Fedya said loudly, over Anatole’s last sentence. 

“Hey nice blanket fort you got down there.” Anatole said lazily, eyeing where the pillow failed to land. “Mind telling me how you’re keeping it up so well?” Fedya uncrossed his arms to grab one of his pillows and throw it at Anatole. He mumbled something inaudible. 

Anatole crossed to the bed slowly, dropping onto the end of it and leaning back on his elbows. His head was parallel with Fedya’s feet, and smile turned into a smirk. “What was that, Fedya?”

“I  _ said _ ,” Fedya repeated audibly. “Are you going to shut the door and come help me or not.” Anatole rolled his eyes and got up to kick the door closed, jumping onto the bed with a happy noise. 

“I thought you’d never ask!” He said, and then pulled Fedya into a hungry kiss. Fedya let out a muffled noise of surprise, entirely caught off guard despite his clear invitation to Anatole to begin with. He caught on quickly though, and brushed his fingers through Anatole’s hair, having spent enough time with him to know full well what that would do. Anatole made an aborted noise, hands tightening in Fedya’s shirt. “ _ Shit _ ,” he mumbled into Fedya’s mouth.

With a sharp grin, Fedya nudged at Anatole’s shoulder, rolling them over neatly. Anatole’s hands tugged Fedya’s shirt up his torso with a sharp movement, and he whined impatiently. Fedya pulled away for a minute to pull his shirt off, reaching to tug off Anatole’s while they were separated. “Hi.” Fedya muttered softly, pausing to be far more gentle and patient than he particularly felt in the moment, brushing a few strands of Anatole’s hair away from his face. “You’re very pretty. I’m  _ very _ gay.” Anatole stammered, caught off guard. 

“Better than that picture on your phone?” He snarked back, though the blush that has risen to his cheeks gave him away.

“Infinitely.” Fedya replied with a smile, tilting his head down to kiss Anatole again. Anatole’s hands found their way to the small of Fedya’s back and he pulled Fedya’s hips down to his, moaning at the contact. Fedya breathed out a soft curse and repeated the movement eagerly, his hands clearly unsure of what to do. Anatole pushed his head towards Fedya’s hand thoughtlessly, his own hands slipping down the curve of Fedya’s ass. Fedya followed the movement, running his fingers through Anatole’s hair again, before testing himself a little, curling his fingers in the longer strands and giving a gentle tug. 

Anatole’s response was instantaneous and enthusiastic as he made a high keening noise in the back of his throat, arching into Fedya. Fedya, wide-eyed, did it again, gently nipping at Anatole’s bottom lip at the same time. Anatole moaned Fedya’s name, followed by a few choice curses.

“Aly,” Fedya breathed against his lips. “Aly, I so don’t have the shit to do this properly.” 

Anatole blinked up at him, momentarily confused, before he smiled slyly. “My jacket pocket. I have stuff.” Fedya looked torn, between getting up and grabbing Anatole’s jacket, or just continuing to make out, when Pierre, very clearly from the other side of the door, said, “Could you two possibly do this when we  _ aren’t _ home, thanks.” 

Anatole barked out a laugh before Fedya could respond. “Go downstairs, fuck’s sake. Lord knows you’ve heard Andrey and I screw in the next room over without batting an eye.” He winked at Fedya. “Go somewhere else, old man.” Fedya’s head dropped to Anatole’s shoulder and he buried his face against Anatole’s skin, shaking his head a little. 

“Now he’s gone and made me self conscious.” Fedya muttered under his breath, letting out a small sigh and speaking a tad louder. “You’re right, Pierre, sorry.” He called back. Anatole frowned at him. 

“He’s just being annoying. You know he hears that shit from Andrey all the damn time.” He said softly, leaning up to kiss Fedya gently. “Pierre, I will walk out of this room butt naked with my dick out if you don’t stop cockblocking. Play music or something.”

“S’different when it’s Andrey.” Fedya muttered back, rolling over on his bed to lay next to Anatole. Pierre walked away from the door and Fedya scrubbed his face anxiously. “S’fine. Honestly, I’m not in the best place right now, Al, I’d probably regret this later. Want it to be good first time.”

Anatole looked confused, but he nodded, reaching over to grab his shirt and Fedya’s. “That’s fair.” Anatole said gently as he pulled his shirt back on. “Do you… want me to go?” He asked, at a loss of what else to do. Fedya hesitated before shaking his head, shifting on the bed to also grab a pair of his boxers, tugging them on and shifting so he could wrap his arm around Anatole. 

“If- this is okay?” Fedya said, voice oddly small. Anatole started, shocked, before he smiled, looking a bit tearful. 

“Yeah, yeah. Super okay. More than okay.” He paused. “Lemme just-” he paused to wriggle out of his sweatpants. “Okay, yeah. This is  _ very  _ okay. This… yeah.” He pressed a kiss to Fedya’s collarbone. “Physical affection. Mmmmgood.” Fedya smiled and wrapped his arm tighter around Anatole, letting himself drift off to sleep. 

He woke up the next morning to the sunlight streaming through the window, his phone alarm going off, and Ippolit cuddled up to his brother over the covers. Anatole grumbled something unintelligible, pulling himself closer to Fedya. “Shuddidoff.” He mumbled louder, whining. 

“M’trying.” Fedya muttered back, grabbing his phone and pressing the snooze button firmly, throwing his phone back away from him and tucking his face to Anatole’s hair with a groan. Anatole shifted, then let out a whine, elbowing the body behind him.

“Andreyyyy s’isn’t a threesome.” He said, slightly more coherent. “You have two boys. Go bother them. Give Lito a hug f’r me. B’don tell’m.” He added as an afterthought. Ippolit squirmed a little and burrowed closer to Anatole with a soft whine in the back of his throat. Anatole froze, heart rate kicking up. “You’re not- what the  _ fuck _ -” he said suddenly fully alert. “What the- g’ off of me.” He wriggled out of the covers, tumbling over Fedya and off of the side clumsily. Ippolit let out a louder whine and tried to cuddle up to Fedya. Fedya patted Ippolit’s head lightly and rolled a little. 

“Are you  _ quite _ alright, Aly?”

“ _ No _ .” Anatole said, tugging his sweatpants on. “I’m  _ not _ . I’m confused and I’ve been spiraling so hard because of the shit he- that  _ you _ said to me,  _ Ippolit _ \- and you can’t just- never mind.” Anatole grabbed his jacket, before looking back to meet Fedya’s eyes and dropping it, deflating. “I’m not leaving. I’m just… going downstairs.” He said, and then walked out, and his quick footsteps could be heard padding down the stairs. Ippolit stared after him. Fedya sighed softly. 

“Give him time, Lit.” Fedya said softly, leaning over and kissing Ippolit’s head gently. “He needs time too.”

“I want-” Ippolit paused, troubled. Fedya shifted to pull Ippolit into a hug, letting the older boy nuzzle his shoulder before pulling away. Ippolit all but tore through the door, and directly into Pierre, who caught him. Fedya sighed and slowly got up, pulling on a pair of pants thrown around his room, making his way downstairs to the couch and sitting down next to Anatole. 

“Hey,” Fedya nudged at Anatole gently. 

“‘I don’t want either of you’, he says, ‘just like papa’ he calls me,” Anatole whispered, staring blankly at the wall ahead of him. “I’ve- I haven’t told anyone because- no one but Ela has seen me- and anyway, they- neither of us can function. We’re not  _ eating _ and barely  _ sleeping _ and I can’t  _ fucking _ look at myself in the mirror because all I see is  _ papa _ .” He trailed off. “And I just- I don’t know what to think now.” Fedya wrapped his arm around Anatole, gently pulling him closer, holding him. 

“Hey, hey.” He said softly, expression softening. “We have a rule in this house. You blame yourself for something that isn’t your fault, you give up your phone for a bit.” Fedya smiled, brushing his fingers gently through Anatole’s hair. “Gimme your phone, baby.” 

“I’m not blaming myself.” Anatole said, irritated, pulling away. “He blamed me and I took it because I didn’t have the choice to disagree with him when he was in the hospital.” Fedya reached over and took Anatole’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Hey, can you look at me?” He said quietly. Anatole sighed, glancing over. Fedya met his eyes seriously and spoke clearly. “What happened to Ippolit is not your fault, and it’s not Elya’s fault. What Ippolit said is not okay. However, he was also injured and under considerable pressure. I’m not excusing his actions. I do think that, now that he’s ready to try and communicate and talk, you should give him a chance. And I say that with your best interests at heart, Alyosha.”

Anatole softened, and then tensed again, frowning. “I’m not doing shit unless Ela is forgiven too. They’ve been handling this for longer than the fucking hospital.” He paused, eyes darkening as he looked away. “He compared us to  _ Papa _ . That’s always been like, the line that we never cross. Just an unspoken rule of,  _ He  _ is the point of no return. Fedya, the first night Ela and I were home alone we- took a fucking bottle of whiskey and drank from it until we passed out on the kitchen floor. And it wasn’t- we wanted to die. We did it because we’d wanted to die, rather than live knowing we hurt Ipp like that. We tried to give ourselves alcohol poisoning but we passed out before we could. I-” he shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to say all of that.”

“No, no, baby, no, talking is good, talking is good,” Fedya soothed immediately, going back to gently brushing his fingers through Anatole’s hair in a gentle attempt to soothe him more. “Talking is good. Guess we’ll have to invite-”

Whatever the rest of Fedya’s sentence was cut off by the sound of the front door all but bursting open and managing to hit Pierre as he passed it. “Are you fuckin- Natasha, hey.” Pierre spun and immediately cut himself off with a pleasant smile. He’d always been sweet on her, something Andrey had mocked him mercilessly about in the past. 

“Pierre!” Natasha said brightly, beaming at the taller man. “You look so good, it’s been like two day- Elya, please kindly stop pushing me- Pierre!” Elya shoved their way past their girlfriend when they caught sight of their little brother. Anatole shot up, meeting Elya halfway. 

“Ela, Ela, what is it?” He asked, grabbing them. Elya opened their mouth before letting out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob, cupping his face in their hands. 

“They’re convicting him, Toto. They- we’re getting emancipated, probably- we’re-”

“We’re free- He’s  _ gone _ .” Anatole said, disbelieving. And then the two were laughing and crying, arms wrapped so tightly around each other that it was hard to tell where one sibling ended and the other began. Ippolit slowly walked into the doorway to the living room from the kitchen, watching both of his younger siblings with a sad expression. Andrey walked up behind him, confused, but he put a hand on Ippolit’s shoulder, grounding him. Ippolit turned his head a little before turning completely, burying his face against Andrey’s shoulder, making a soft noise of pain, though for once the pain wasn’t due to his ribs. Andrey kissed his temple, wrapping his arms around him. 

The younger two had calmed down marginally, though they still had their faces buried in the other’s shoulder, rocking back and forth. “Do you think he’ll talk to us again now? Now that Papa’s gone?” Elya said, unaware of the boy in question standing in the doorway. Ippolit made the same noise as before, hands clenching and unclenching several times, before he moved to grip Andrey’s shirt instead, the small half circles from his nails pressing into his palms hidden that way.  

The noise caught the attention of his siblings who pulled away from each other enough to look at the eldest of the trio. After a moment of jarred silence, Elya spoke up. “Hi… hi Lito.” They said, as though the greeting would earn them the same glare Ippolit had been fixing on them for months. Ippolit didn’t respond at first, or even acknowledge that he had been spoken to. It took nearly a full minute before he slowly raised his head and turned to look at them with soft, tear-filled eyes. 

“Elena?” Ippolit said in a voice barely above a whisper. Elya blinked, taken aback. Anatole seemed to forget how to breathe. 

“Hey,” They said, holding more tightly to Anatole. “Did- did you hear the news?” Their voice was detached- the vocal equivalent of holding someone at arm's length. Ippolit nodded rather than reply verbally, unconsciously taking a step closer to Andrey.

There was a loud sigh from halfway across the room. “Ippolit,” Fedya said, turning to face him. “You have something to say, don’t you?” Ippolit hesitated before reaching for his phone, opening it and nervously fiddling with the fidgets on his phone case before he read off of his memo app. 

“I-” Ippolit started, his head shooting up to make sure Elya and Anatole were still there and listening before he went back to reading off of his phone. “I’m sorry for- for what I said at- at the hospital. I- I was not in the best mindset and I was- was scared and upset and I- I lashed out at- at you instead of- of remembering that we- we’re in this together.” Ippolit paused, taking a deep breath, his eyes unfocused as he did his best to keep reading off of the app. “El- Elena, I- I’m still- still upset be-because you locked me out and-”

“‘I’ sentences, Ippolit.” Fedya gently cut in, regarding him with a soft look. Ippolit looked up at him and nodded nervously, fidgeting more aggressively. 

“I’m still upset because  _ I _ thought you locked me out and- and I was scared and I was- was doing my best to protect you, and I- I thought you had locked me out and-” Ippolit took a shaky breath, leaning into Andrey. “I thought he was going to kill me and I wouldn’t be able to protect you.” He finished in a whisper, locking his phone but not putting it away, continuing to fidget instead. 

Elya and Anatole were both crying again, though they hadn’t moved closer. Anatole was the first to speak. “So… we’re not like him?” And he sounded as though he were ten years old again. Ippolit shook his head aggressively before leaning heavily on Andrey, dizzy. He’d done it several times, forgetting he had his concussion. 

“And you- want us still?” Elya asked, eyes wide. “You- we can help you?” They were shaking with barely repressed sobs, and Anatole was crying freely, then, covering his mouth with his free hand. Ippolit slowly nodded, still using Andrey for balance, though he relaxed a little when Pierre crossed to stand next to him, letting Ippolit lean against him too, especially when Andrey had to go make sure their breakfasts didn’t burn. “And you don’t- you don’t hate us?” They finished, eyes shining with tears and hope. Ippolit shook his head, finally looking up at them. 

“Can we…” Anatole looked to Elya, only continuing when they gave him an approving nod. “Can we come over to you? Are you- is touch okay?” Ippolit shook his head no, leaning closer to Pierre, who wrapped an arm around him slowly, rubbing his back gently. Anatole and Elya tried and failed not to look like they had been kicked. 

“Hey, you sure you can’t handle them touching you?” Pierre asked softly. Ippolit shifted closer to Pierre in his reply. 

“It’s okay.” Elya said in the silence that followed. Their voice was strained, and they looked away, trying to muster up a smile. “It’s okay, Ipp. It’s a start. Uh…” They made eye contact with Anatole who paused, then nodded. 

“This has been a lot… I think we’re gonna head home.” Anatole said, gnawing at his bottom lip, bouncing on his toes. “Unless- you want us to stay?” He looked hopefully at Ippolit. 

“I think you should stay.” Andrey said, smiling gently at the two. “It’s been a while.” Ippolit hesitated before nodding, burying his face back against Pierre’s shoulder, the hint of a smile creeping onto his face when Pierre raised a hand and cradled him close. 

“I think the vote is on staying.” Fedya said, looking back at Elya and Anatole. “Natasha, you’re welcome to stay as well.”

Anatole and Elya seemed to sag against each other, relieved. Both of them smiled at each other, then back at heir older brother, looking a bit teary. Elya snapped back to their usual self instinctively after a moment, though. “Good, because if Anatole’s stomach growls through one more hug, I’m going to feed Pierre to him.” They laughed, elbowing Anatole, who screeched.

“Aly, love, can we keep the pterodactyl out of the house until I’ve had coffee?” Fedya said pleasantly, making a beeline for the kitchen, pushing Andrey out of his way to get to the coffee, Andrey pushing him back. Natasha laughed, and wrapped her arm around Elya, resting her chin on their shoulder, a pleasant warmth spreading through the room. Ippolit, without being asked, pulled away from Pierre to help Andrey set the table and counter, since they’d have to use the stools and counter area to fit everyone for food. 

“Someone go wake Sonya and Mary up?” Pierre suggested, biting back a smile when he had to add, “And Marya?”

Anatole and Elya gaped for a moment, before grinning mischievously. “We’ll go!” They said in unison, and Elya pinched Anatole’s shoulder before taking off towards mthe stairs, laughing as he swore, racing after them. Their footsteps thundered up the stairs and their laughter turned breathless. 

Inside the bedroom, Marya was already wide awake and gently trying to free herself from where she’d been pinned to the bed by Sonya and Mary both falling asleep on her arm. “Girl, you are like five-two and a hundred pounds, how the fuck are-” Marya muttered under her breath, trying to free herself from underneath Mary. Sonya, half asleep, let out a snort and mumbled, “Stooooop mooooooving.” 

Mary made a soft noise of confusion, nuzzling her head into Marya’s shoulder. “W’s goin’on?” She mumbled, blinking up at Marya.

“I need to pee.” Sonya mumbled into Marya’s wrist without actually getting up. Marya huffed out a laugh. 

“Are either of you coherent before noon  _ ever _ ?”

“No?” Sonya mumbled, dropping her head back onto Marya’s wrist. Marya muttered a soft curse and then yanked her hand back. 

“Sofia, if you  _ drool on me _ -”

Elya burst through the door, Anatole hot on their heels. He crashed into their back, both giggling. “Breakfast!!” Anatole chirped, grabbing Elya around the waist to steady the both of them. “And we’ve made up. So like, family breakfast is a go, I guess?” 

Marya cursed under her breath and struggled twice as much to pull herself from underneath Mary and Sonya, making absolutely no traction until she paused, taking a deep breath, and literally picked Mary up, setting her aside gently before rolling over. 

“Y’know. If that wasn’t insanely hot, I’d be impressed.” Sonya said conversationally, suddenly awake enough to be eyeing Marya appreciatively. Marya snorted and threw a pillow in Sonya’s direction, pulling her hair up into a bun. 

“Good morning, Toto, Elya.” Marya greeted belatedly. Elya beamed at her, before dragging Anatole back out of the room, jabbering about going to sit with their respective partners. Mary rolled over and latched onto Sonya, humming and pressing a bleary kiss to her girlfriend’s stomach. Sonya smiled, wrapping her arms contently around Mary, nuzzling her back. 

“You two need to learn to wake up before noon.” Marya said, leaning over and stealing a kiss from Sonya before shifting to stand back up and change, letting out a yawn. “See you both downstairs.” Sonya made a vague noise in her direction, not even looking up from Mary. 

“I like her.” Sonya mumbled into Mary’s shoulder once Marya was gone. “Can we keep her?”

Mary giggled, kissing Sonya. “Yeah. I like her too.” Her stomach made a noise, and Mary groaned, pulling herself up to stretch and yawn. “Mmmm, Pierre made pancakes!” She said, suddenly wide awake. She grabbed Sonya’s hand, trying to force her up. “Cmon! Pancakes!” Sonya huffed out a laugh and let herself be pulled out of bed, pulling on one of Mary’s larger sweaters over the thin t-shirt she wore to bed. Mary smiled at her and pulled her out of the room, heading downstairs.

The two younger Kuragins only let go of each other when they returned to the main floor, making a beeline for their respective partners. Anatole flounced up to Fedya, on what looked like his second cup of coffee, and kissed him on the cheek. “Hey, hot stuff.” He said, stealing the coffee cup, and taking a sip. He choked immediately, handed the mug back, and swallowed with a grimace. “What the  _ fuck _ is  _ that. _ ”

“Have you joined the world in drinking proper coffee, the only man on earth I can stand?” Sonya said as she entered the kitchen, ruffling Fedya’s hair as she passed. 

“What about Andrey?” Ippolit tilted his head at her questioningly. 

“She’s generally on her knees in that case.” Pierre said from the stove. Ippolit choked on his own coffee. “Swallow, Ippolit. Sonya can.” Sonya flipped off Pierre’s back and settled down into a chair, tugging Mary down with her. Anatole recovered, still making a face. 

“Fedya, Jesus.” He whined, looking at him. “What the fuck is that?” 

“Coffee, Anatole. It’s coffee.” Elya said, sharing a smile with Natasha. Natasha giggled and leaned over, stealing a sweet kiss from them. Fedya rolled his eyes. 

“We were up late.” Fedya defended, raising the cup to his lips. Anatole snorted, grinning at him. 

“ _ Yeah, _ we were.” He grinned wolfishly, wrapping his arms around Fedya’s waist. Elya gave him a double take.

“Wait,  _ what _ ?!”

“Gross,” Ippolit said in a sing-song voice, smiling brightly when he got a kiss from Andrey. “I don’t wanna know he got laid, ‘Dryush!”

“We didn’t actually, calm your asses down. We made out and then we slept.” Anatole said blithely, kissing Fedya’s jaw. Andrey smirked at Pierre’s back but said nothing. Elya rolled their eyes. Pierre grinned. 

“Cute.” He said, setting down a plate with a literal stack of pancakes on it. “Alright, Hunger Games this bitch for breakfast, good luck.” Pierre stepped back before he’d end up murdered by the group of hungry teens. Mary shoved Andrey out of her way with an alarming amount of ease, screeching when he tried to reach over her. Anatole looked on with wide eyes, looking to Fedya in alarm. 

“Oh my  _ god. _ What the fuck is this family?” He asked. Fedya didn’t reply, in the process of trying to get pancakes onto his plate in full pieces before Mary and Andrey tore them to shreds. 

“Pierre is a good cook.” Ippolit said with a pleased smile, when Pierre dropped three pancakes onto his plate, saved specifically for him. Anatole jumped when Ippolit addressed him, still half expecting to be ignored. He smiled, though, glancing from Ippolit to Pierre and back again.

“I bet.” He said cheerfully, leaning back against the counter and looking on. Ippolit beamed when Pierre kissed his head sweetly, and then nudged Ippolit until the younger teenager stood, letting Pierre sit before settling back on his lap, resting his head on Pierre’s shoulder. Anatole’s smile widened.

“Y’all are disgusting.” Sonya said, in the same position as Pierre under Mary. Marya snickered from her seat on the counter. Anatole started, turning back towards her, not realizing she had sat behind him. 

“Hey, Marya.” He said carefully, unsure of where they stood. Marya raised her eyebrows. 

“Hey.” She said in reply. Anatole turned back awkwardly, at a loss of what else to say, fidgeting with the hem of his (Fedya’s) shirt. Fedya shifted on the chair he was on, his arm slipping around Anatole casually, kissing his cheek. 

“So, day off school, right?” Pierre questioned, running his fingers lightly up -and down Ippolit’s thigh in a gentle touch stim Ippolit seemed to really be liking. Anatole nodded as he dropped onto his boyfriend’s lap.  

“And thank fuck for that.” He said, and he and Elya shared a look without elaborating. Fedya kissed Anatole’s jaw absently, going back to drinking his coffee before offering his mug to Marya, who poured him a third without questioning it. Fedya drained the mug in a single go. Anatole gaped at him.

“Is that healthy?” Ippolit whispered audibly to Pierre, causing Marya and Sonya to both laugh. 

“How the shit are you  _ alive _ .” Anatole mumbled, kissing Fedya’s neck. Elya raised their eyebrows over their fourth mug. 

“Severe insomnia and a lack of caring about how quickly my heart is beating.” Fedya said, with a shrug. Anatole shook his head in disbelief and then got up, restless, wandering off for the sake of moving. Elya smiled at Fedya. 

“He’s restless. Needs to move around.” They explained kindly. Fedya nodded slightly, shrugging again and just watching Anatole off to the side, humming to himself absently. Elya rubbed at their temples making a soft noise. “Fucking shit, I hate h...headaches.” They caught themself, taking another sip of coffee. Natasha slid her arm around them, pressing a kiss to the side of their head. 

“You’re an idiot,” she said fondly, knowing full well why they were bitching, having been on the receiving end of many a text the night previously, ending up by the Kuragin house to make sure no one died. Natasha smiled and gently nudged Elya’s chin until she could get a proper kiss from them. “My idiot.”

Elya rolled their eyes and let themself be maneuvered, but they were grinning into the kiss. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” They mumbled. Andrey smiled fondly, leaning over  to kiss his own boyfriends. Ippolit hummed happily onto the kiss, leaning over into it, almost falling off of Pierre’s lap. Pierre chuckled and wrapped his arm around Ippolit, kissing Andrey as well. Andrey settled happily against Pierre’s side. 

Pierre smiled warmly, one arm wrapped around each of his boys, clearly content and peaceful now that he had the both of them back. 

“Y’all are gross.” Marya and Sonya said in unison, eyeing one another from across the room when they realized they’d spoken simultaneously. Mary grinned at her girls and stole a pancake off of Andrey’s plate, grinning in triumph when he sighed in affectionate resignation. Sonya grinned and settled against Mary, nuzzling her neck warmly. It was a good morning. 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 10:37am_ **

Can we talk?

**_> 10:37am_ **

Not bad things. Just easier like this than out loud. 

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 10:40am_ **

holy shit yeah of course lito 

**_> 10:41am_ **

can we come into ur bed and cuddle or do u want separate rooms?

**_> 10:41_ **

also Anatole got up early like the maniac he is and I think he climbed onto the roof again so I have to find him cause he left his phone on the couch 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 10:42am_ **

Separate rooms plz

**_> 10:42am_ **

Plz get him

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 10:43am_ **

sure thing hun

**_> 10:43am _ **

u okay? 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 10:43am_ **

yup

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 10:44am_ **

ight, Love u 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 10:45am_ **

Love you

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:00am_ **

we need to put a fucking bell around his goddamn neck lmao

**_> 11:01am_ **

we’re both in the living room mkay?

**_Baby Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:01am_ **

morning lito!

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:02am_ **

Hi 

**_Baby Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:02am_ **

whatdyou wanna talk abt? 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:03am_ **

us

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:03am_ **

oh alright! 

**_> 11:03am_ **

you start 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:04am_ **

I’m moving in with pierre and andrey. I don’t sleep well alone and i love them. We’re trying to figure everything out still but. 

**_> 11:05am_ **

Pierre gave andrey and i promise rings. 

**_> 11:05am_ **

I want to make sure you will both be ok if i’m not at the house

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:07am_ **

i mean

**_> 11:07am_ **

if that’s what’s best for u then of course

**_> 11:08am_ **

we’re gonna miss u like hell but like yeah 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:08am_ **

I know fedya wants anatole to be around a lot so

**_> 11:09am_ **

Andrey and i were looking at family money. Since papa won’t have access to it an we get access to our trust funds and whatnot

**_> 11:10am_ **

There’s a really nice three bedroom apartment about a block away from the bezukhov-bolkonsky house…

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:10am _ **

u want us to move closer to u? 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:11am_ **

Well. yeah. 

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:13am_ **

oh!

**_> 11:13am_ **

okay that’s awesome

**_> 11:14am_ **

we’ll have to look at it but that’s sounds great lito

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:15am_ **

I also got into mpa next year

**_> 11:16am_ **

So i have to quit cheer. I know you’re captain next year, el. Sorry. 

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:17am_ **

that’s AWESOME ipp!! and it’s okay, im proud of u :) 

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:18am_ **

thanks el

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:19am_ **

Anatole wants u to know that he’s proud of you too, he just can’t type right now. 

**_> 11:20am_ **

he just told me to tell you that he loves you a lot and to send, “so much hearts ely, so fucking much” 

**_> 11:21am_ **

we love you a lot ipp 

**_> 11:21am_ **

thank u for talking abt it with us :)<3

**_B_ ** **_ig Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:21am_ **

:)

**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:22am_ **

toto and i are napping on the couch, if u want in at any point just come down<3

**_Big Bro <3_ **

**_> 11:24am_ **

  1. love u.



**_Middle Sib <3_ **

**_> 11:25am_ **

we love u too

  
  


**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:00am_ **

hey marya?

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:02am_ **

That’s me.

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:02am _ **

omg i didn’t actually expect u to be up hello

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:02am_ **

I don’t ever sleep. 

**_> 12:03am_ **

Kidding. Insomnia, so I’m working routines. What’s up?

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:05am_ **

oh! okay :)

**_> 12:06am_ **

i couldn’t sleep either cause like. anxiousness. but I’ve been thinking and like

**_> 12:06am_ **

okay we hang out all the time and you’re really nice and soft to me and sofi (ur mostly soft to me haha) and we all hook up once in a while

**_> 12:07am_ **

so i guess what I’m asking is like, what are we? 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:08am_ **

Friends with benefits? I think?

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:09am_ **

like Anatole and Andrey were?

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:10am_ **

Guess so.

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:11am_ **

oh okay i think i get it! 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:12am_ **

Yeah?

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:12am_ **

i think so!

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:13am_ **

Alright.

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:14am_ **

what happens if one of us gets a crush on you? 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:15am_ **

Uh. That’s your problem, then?

**_> 12:16am_ **

That sounded harsh. Eesh. Sorry. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:16am_ **

no no it’s okay!!

**_> 12:17am_ **

don’t worry :) 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:18am_ **

I’m aro. I don’t really do dating. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:20am_ **

okay! 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:21am_ **

Cool. :)

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:21am_ **

ur really cool marya :D

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:22am_ **

Thanks, Mary. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:22am_ **

gnight marya!

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:23am_ **

Night, Mary. 

**_> 12:24am_ **

Oh, and I heard through the grapevine Dolokhov gave you his second story for a show. I’m open to costume design that too, if you want. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:25am_ **

omg really!!!!!

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:25am_ **

Really. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:26am_ **

that would be so amazing!! thank uuuu!!!

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:27am_ **

Not a problem. Get some sleep, Mary. :*

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:27am_ **

mmmmkay ☺️ ill try. thank u for explaining to me btw! sometimes people sugarcoat things for me and i don’t like that but u didn’t and i really appreciate that❤️

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:28am_ **

Course.

**_> 12:29am_ **

And, hey. If you want it to be less FWB and more QPR, let me know. I’ll be open to it, but we’ll have to talk, with Sonya too, about what that entails, and whatnot.  And I’d rather keep it FWB until you’re an upperclassmen, just for my sake. So. As of September, if you wanna open it to QPR, let me know and we can all grab coffee. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:30am_ **

im not sure what that all means, but im sleepy. can we talk more about it after i sleep? 

**_Marya!!!❤️❤️❤️_ **

**_> 12:31am_ **

Works for me. Text me when you’re awake. Coffee’s on me tomorrow. 

**_Angelic Girl_ **

**_> 12:32am_ **

alright!!! talk to you (later) in the morning lol<3

  
  


**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:08am_ **

hey u up yet? 

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:10am_ **

Unfortunately.

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:10am_ **

insomnia back at it? 

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:11am_ **

Oddly enough, no. My alarm went off despite us having the literal day off of school.

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:13am_ **

oh fuuuuck

**_> 9:13am_ **

if it’s any sort of consolation, i woke up at five am for no reason at all 

**_> 9:14am_ **

but also i want to ask u something sorta big and important uhh

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:15am_ **

Wassup, bae?

**_> 9:16am_ **

Remind me never to text again. 

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:17am_ **

nah keep doing that

**_> 9:17am_ **

it gives me screenshots to send to Andrey as reaction images 

**_> 9:18am_ **

at this point we text almost exclusively in screenshots of u jfjgjgjgktkf

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:19am_ **

Get on with it u dick

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:20am_ **

u love me hush

**_> 9:21am_ **

but hey uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**_> 9:22am_ **

u know how mpaVA has a show every quarter?

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:23am_ **

Yeah, course

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:24am_ **

okay good

**_> 9:25am_ **

i was wondering if u wanted to come? as like

**_> 9:26am_ **

my boyfriend? 

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:27am_ **

Fuck yeah. 

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:27am_ **

wait will u really 

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:28am_ **

Duh, babe. Gotta support my boy’s art.

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:30am_ **

holy shit that’s 

**_> 9:31am _ **

really cool

**_> 9:31am_ **

your boy huh

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:32am_ **

That’s what i said, isn’t it?

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:33am_ **

shut up u fuck

**_> 9:34am _ **

on a completely unrelated note u know when someone calls u something casually and ur body starts huhghjjvjfgj

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:35am_ **

would you say your body is,, thrumming?

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:36am_ **

that certainly is one way you could describe what is happening currently in this moment jcjvjgjgk

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:37am_ **

Hey, come over. I have, like, a lot of good news and I wanna tell you in person. 

**_> 9:37am_ **

And also make out, but slightly less important. 

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:38am_ **

hahahaha uhhhh Andrey May Be Pulling Into Ur Driveway With Me In The Car Already

**_Ghostie✨❤️_ **

**_> 9:40am_ **

Wtf. But okay, come up to my room when you’re in. And bring some of the food Pierre just made, I’m hungry but I don’t wanna get up. 

**_Aly ☀️❤️_ **

**_> 9:41am_ **

yessir ;) 


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Anatole had just enough self control to wait for Fedya to finish eating before he reeled him in for a kiss. Fedya laughed into the kiss, setting his plate off to the side blindly and moving his hand to cup Anatole’s cheek before he pulled back slightly, flushed and with a bright smile, regarding his boyfriend. “I got into MPA.” Fedya breathed to him, grinning madly. “For writing.” Anatole gaped at him, processing for a moment, before a grin spread across his own face. 

“Holy shit- I didn’t even know you were thinking about applying- and like, of course you did. They’d be fucking out of their  _ minds _ to turn you away… I’m- holy  _ shit _ , Fedya!” Anatole got out, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. “Look at you. I’m so fucking proud of you.” He pulled Fedya into a hug. Fedya held Anatole back, still grinning. 

“I was in the process of applying when I- second semester of freshman year.” Fedya paused halfway through his sentence, struggling to phrase it delicately. Anatole nodded, understanding what Fedya was avoiding saying. “But I got my portfolio in and Mikhailovna told me she’d already read my script for Hosanna and heard Andrey and Pierre sing my praises all the time, and  _ of course _ I’d get in. I got the official email today.” He kissed Anatole softly. “And I have more news on top of that.” Anatole leaned in for another kiss, then rested his head on  Fedya’s shoulder, pressing lazy kisses to his neck. 

“Hm?” He prompted. Fedya grinned, yawning before he spoke. 

“I submitted a manuscript a bit ago and just got an email asking me to come in to discuss it.  Might be getting a publishing deal, baby.” Anatole’s head snapped up, nearly head butting Fedya in the process. 

“No  _ shit _ !” He said, hands coming up to hold Fedya’s shoulders. “Babe-  _ Fedya _ \- that’s  _ huge? _ Who else knows?” 

“No one.” Fedya said with a grin. “I don’t want to jinx it. I’m heading to Petersburg in July for that, and- something else.” His grin widened. “I got asked to speak at the horror convention they have every other July, about Hosanna and the other stories.” 

“Well, fuck me running! My  _ god,  _ you’re so fucking incredible. Fedya-  _ Fedya _ !” Anatole cupped Fedya’s face between his hands, eyes tracing over his face in wonder. “This is your  _ life _ now. Look at you.” Fedya grinned at him and leaned in the few inches to press a kiss to Anatole’s lips. 

“And I’m doing it with you,” he whispered to Anatole, beaming. “My boyfriend.” 

“Fuck, I love hearing that.  _ Fuck _ .” Anatole mumbled, kissing Fedya harder. He shifted closer, arms dropping to circle around Fedya’s chest. “My  _ boyfriend _ .”

“Your boyfriend,” Fedya murmured back, kissing Anatole back without much of a care for the world around them, ignoring everything for Anatole. Anatole hummed into the kiss, climbing into Fedya’s lap and straddling his hips in an attempt to get as close as possible to the boy he was very quickly falling in love with.

Fedya rolled over on the bed, pinning Anatole beneath him with a soft laugh, pulling away only when his phone softly went off. “Shut uuup,” Fedya said in a sing song voice, pulling away to silence the alarm before ignoring it to lean back down and kiss Anatole again. Anatole snorted, grinning. 

“Someone calling you for a noise complaint?” He laughed. Fedya rolled his eyes and kissed Anatole to shut him up, ignoring the comment. Anatole sighed, content to let it go, running his hands up and down Fedya’s bare back. “Mmm I think the fact that my shirt is still on my body is a problem that needs to be solved presently.” Fedya barked out a laugh, and pulled away to tug Anatole’s shirt off, going back to kissing him almost immediately, the only hint that he was nervous was the slight hesitation before he trailed kisses down Anatole’s jaw and neck. Anatole didn’t seem to notice, tipping his head back to expose more of his skin for Fedya to kiss. “That’s- really fucking nice,” his voice was a bit breathless already and his cheeks were pink. Fedya laughed quietly, trailing the kisses back up and capturing Anatole’s lips again. 

Anatole groaned, his legs tightening around Fedya’s hips unconsciously. Fedya hummed softly, pressing a few light kisses to the corner of Anatole’s mouth before pulling away slightly, smiling down at him. “I’m so damn lucky to have you, you know that?” He murmured. Anatole blinked up at him, then turned his head to the side, the pink flush in his cheeks deepening to red. 

“‘S the other way around, hotstuff.” He sounded strangled, and he shrugged. Fedya smiled and pressed another gentle kiss to the corner of Anatole’s lips. 

“D’you, uh,” Fedya flushed a little before finishing his sentence. “Wanna move some of your stuff into my room? You can stay over during the year next year, and this summer.”

Anatole’s gaze snapped back to Fedya’s face. “Wait, what?” He asked, some unknown emotion sparkling in his eyes.

“Move some of your stuff into my room.” Fedya shifted a little, rolling back over and tucking Anatole close to him. “I mean, Ippolit was talking last night about you three moving closer to us, for a new place away from the house, and, well, if we’re together, which I really hope we will be, it’d be… easier to just have your stuff here so we don’t need to rush before school or anything.” 

As Fedya spoke, Anatole grew increasingly excited, a disbelieving smile stretching across his face. “That sounds really nice.” He said softly when Fedya had finished speaking. Fedya smiled and shifted, kissing Anatole sweetly. 

“I really, really,  _ really _ like you.” Fedya murmured. 

“I really, really,  _ really _ like you too, doofus.” Anatole shook his head, moving in for another kiss. Fedya hummed happily, brushing his hands over Anatole’s side, a grin settling on his face. 

“I should write but I  _ so _ wanna be lazy and just cuddle.” Fedya admitted with a slight grin. Anatole shifted closer to his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to his chest. 

“Do you desperately need to write?” Anatole yawned, his lack of sleep catching up to him. “‘S okay if you do.” Fedya  shook his head and nuzzled Anatole’s hair, kissing the top of his head. 

“Nah, can update late, s’fine.” He yawned as well, scowling slightly. “Damn it, it’s your fault I’m yawning.” Anatole smiled, kissing Fedya’s chest again. He stifled another yawn.

“S’n’t my fault.” Anatole began peppering kisses across whatever skin he could reach. “Was up thinkin’ ‘bout you.” He yawned, pulling himself a little closer. “More th’n usual.” 

“Sorry I couldn’t get my update out on time, my boyfriend wore himself out jerking off while thinking about me, and then we napped together and I can't make him move when he’s laying on me.”Fedya deadpanned, miming typing on his phone. Anatole smacked his chest, snorting. 

“Don’t be a dick, I didn’t mean it like that.” He paused, then nipped at the skin closest to his mouth. “Okay I  _ mostly didn’t  _ mean it like that.” Fedya laughed, tugging on Anatole’s hair lightly before settling back. 

“Lets nap, pretty boy, while I can still remotely get to sleep, yeah?” 

“Mmm, like that. When you call me that.” Anatole grumbled, yawning again and closing his eyes. Fedya smiled and shifted, settling down and closing his eyes as well, drifting off quickly. 


	26. Epilogue: Twenty Six

Fedya took a deep breath in the car, glancing only momentarily at Ippolit and Elya before he slid out of the car, fixing the tie he’d let Elya wrestle him into, making his way into the building and immediately looking around to try and locate Anatole. His hair had been brushed for once, and lightly geled away from his face (also Elya’s work), and he was clean-shaven after a few weeks of stubble for filming as Haze. 

It was a flash of platinum blond hair and a white shirt that Fedya saw before he was embraced, wrapping his arms around Anatole with a warm laugh. “Hey, you.” Fedya greeted playfully. Anatole tensed, glancing around instinctively, and then scowled affectionately at his boyfriend, relaxing. 

“You  _ scared _ me, Fyodor.” He said, and then pulled him in for a kiss. Fedya smiled, pulling away after a minute. 

“Sorry, baby, you look good.” Fedya hummed, ruffling Anatole’s hair and messing it up further. “Come on, introduce me to people.” Anatole swatted at him, but he looked almost giddy as he took Fedya by the hand and pulled him towards the middle of the old building. Fedya laughed again, letting Anatole pull him and following along without argument, smiling the entire time. 

“Anatole, don’t run!” Anna Mikhailovna called to him, rolling her eyes slightly from where she was leaning against a wall, keeping an eye on the group. 

“Sorry, Anna!” He said, slowing to stop by her. “This is my boyfriend!” He said, grinning. “I think you know his work. But he’s my boyfriend.”  He repeated, bouncing on his toes as he squeezed Fedya’s hand.

“You’re the Fedya Dolokhov my classes won’t shut up about.” Anna said, regarding Fedya. Fedya smiled brightly up at her, nodding. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said lightly, squeezing Anatole’s hand back. Anna humphed before a small smile spread across her face. 

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you then, kid.” She said, holding her hand out. Fedya let go of Anatole’s to shake her hand, laughing quietly. “And I’m sure you’ll fit right in next year. Question is, will we be able to get Anatole to focus ever?”

“Absolutely not.” Fedya replied in a deadly serious voice. “Have you met him?” Anatole elbowed Fedya, rolling his eyes at Anna. 

“We’re not even on the same  _ floor _ , shut  _ up _ !” He complained, rolling his eyes. “And you have to thank this  _ distraction _ for my mural piece,  _ thank you very much. _ ” Fedya humed and patted Anatole’s shoulder. 

“Yes, dear, sure.” He said, causing Anna to laugh a little. 

“You two are cute.” She said with a grin, shaking her head. “Get out of here.” Fedya saluted playfully and grabbed Anatole’s hand again, kissing his cheek. Anatole flushed u. 

“Keep showing me around, I want to see Andrey and Pierre’s shit too, show me around, Aly.” Fedya said lightly. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get there.” Anatole snarked, waving to Anna once before pulling Fedya out of the room. They turned a few corners, and then Anatole tugged Fedya into a dark room lit only by the first episode of Emmy projected onto a wall. “Here’s Andrey’s shit. I had to fight him for the biggest wall, and I won, cause you can’t resize a painting like you can with video.” Fedya bit back a laugh and instead just watched a bit of the episode play, glancing to the side when he heard soft talking. 

“That Bolkonsky kid is goddamn talented. I mean, he had, what, four months to put this together?”

“Less.” Fedya chimed in helpfully. “It took two months to get the script written, another two weeks to cast, and then the kid who plays Andi got into a car accident.” The two speaking stopped and stared at him. Anatole grinned with pride, bumping his shoulder into Fedya’s.

“How do you know?” Fedya beamed as the ‘Written by F.I.Dolokhov and A.Bolkonsky’ showed up towards the tail end of the credits. 

“I’m ‘F.I. Dolokhov.’” Fedya shrugged a shoulder a little, hiding a grin at the looks on the faces. “I also played Haze. And we’re gonna be releasing more, it’s not just the first episode, you can find it at-”

“Stop promoting the damn show during my moment to shine, asshole.” Andrey shoved Fedya from behind him lightly. Fedya grinned and turned around to hug Andrey. Anatole smirked at the two dancers that he’d overheard talking a few weeks prior. 

“These two are fans of yours, babe.” He said, fighting back a self assured smile when the two gaped at him. “And they didn’t believe me when I said that I was dating the writer.” 

“Oh. Well, thank you.” Fedya said, turning away from Andrey to smile at the two Anatole was looking at. “And, yes, he is. Dating me, that is.” 

The two looked at Fedya in wonder, sparing Anatole dirty, jealous looks. Anatole grinned at them, happy. Andrey snorted, swatting at the back of Anatole’s head. “Calm your shit, Anatole.” He said, barely hiding a smile. Anatole winked at him, bouncing again now that they were standing still. “C’mon you two. Let’s go see Pierre’s work.” 

“That’s me!” A bright voice said as Ippolit’s face flashed on screen and the Kuragin twins made their way into the room, Ippolit immediately making a beeline for Andrey, grinning brightly at him. “Look, ‘Dryush, it’s me.”

Anatole turned to see his siblings, a bright smile on his face. Elya gave him a hug, and they kissed each other’s cheeks, smiling at the two dancers who shot them both dirty looks. Andrey kissed Ippolit gently, smiling brightly at him. “Yeah, baby, that’s you!” 

Anatole bounced up to them, grinning. “Hey, Lito! You’re in my piece too! How does a hug sound?” He asked, blowing Ippolit a kiss.

“You are in his piece. I’m the only one who’s known about it.” Andrey said, and he and Anatole shared a rueful smile.

“Yeah, only cause you walked in on my studio.” 

“Hug.” Ippolit cut them off before they could continue bickering, stepping into a hug with Anatole with a smile lighting up his face returning to Andrey’s side when the hug was done. Fedya laughed quietly. Anatole beamed at his older brother. 

“You wanna go see Pierre? He’s probably still holed up in that side room we left him in.” Anatole said. Andrey snorted. Ippolit frowned before shaking his head. 

“Nu uh, not till he does his thing.” Ippolit said decisively, taking Andrey’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. “I have good news for you both when he’s done.” Fedya grinned, already knowing what the news was, and squeezing Anatole’s hand as well, leaning over to steal a kiss. Anatole blinked, caught off guard, and then leaned into it, humming. 

Andrey rolled his eyes, and leaned forward to jab his fingers into Anatole’s side. Anatole yelped, squirming away and whining in protest. “Fuck off, Andrey!” 

“C’mon, Dad, don’t be a dick.” Fedya added in with a slight pout to his lips. 

“You calling him that is just weird now that you’ve hooked up.” Ippolit said, eyeing them with a distasteful look, before shrugging. “But who am I to yuck your yum.”

Anatole burst into a fit of surprised laughter, doubling over. “ _ Lito ohhhh _ my  _ godddd. _ ” 

“It’s not- it’s not like that!” Andrey stammered in protest, a blush creeping from his ears to his cheeks. Ippolit patted Andrey’s hand sympathetically, his eyes turning back to the projected video, smiling when the brief flash of him in Pierre’s arms came over the screen. Elya cleared their throat. 

“Not to  _ yuck your yum _ , Lito dear, but you might want to keep it in your pants for the remainder of the show.” They smirked as their words sent Anatole into another fit of giggles. Ippolit smiled a little, still watching the screen though the smile was directed at his twin. Elya sidled up to him, opening their arms in a silent question. Ippolit finally turned his eyes away from the screen and looked at Andrey first, and then Elya, stepping into a hug though he didn’t hug them back, accepting the touch but not returning it, only slightly less than what he’d given Anatole. Elya seemed content with it, smiling at him before grabbing Anatole’s  free hand. “Alright, let's go see that massive fucking painting that you haven’t stopped yammering about.” 

“I didn’t talk about it  _ that _ much,” Anatole protested half heartedly, but he led them and Fedya out into the hall. From there, he dragged the two up a wide, sweeping staircase. When they reached the top, he stalled, seeming reluctant to continue. Elya shook their head affectionately. 

“Well? Where is it?” They prompted gently. Anatole opened his mouth, and then closed it, glancing sidelong at Fedya as he chewed nervously on his lip. Fedya squeezed his hand gently, giving him a warm smile. 

“I’ll close my eyes.” Fedya said, a wider smile spreading across his face. “Just don’t push me down the stairs.” Anatole gave a high, nervous laugh, shaking his head before starting forward. Elya dropped his hand, moving around Fedya to cover his eyes. 

Anatole laughed again, and finally stopped stalling, leading them into a wide, dimly lit room. Elya gasped softly, cursing under their breath, and dropped their hands. Ippolit’s eyes widened as he got a good look, and he almost backed directly into Andrey, eyes still wide. 

“Shit.” Fedya had closed his eyes but finally opened them, looking first at the wall, and then at Anatole. “Fuck, baby.” 

The canvas was enormous, ten feet tall and fifteen feet long, the only source of light in the room being the floor lights shining up onto it. The painting itself was a marvel. Fedya as Haze, three times human size, stood in the middle, looking gorgeous and dangerous and magnetic. His eyes seemed to look through the kids in the room, glinting eerily, a supernatural blue and his tan skin seemed to be illuminated from  some internal force. His suit was flawless to an unsettling extent, his hands spread wide. Between his palms, Sonya as Emmy floated, her bright red hair fanning out around her. Her eyes, normally a soft, lovely green, were open wide with Haze’s exaggerated blue. 

Around him, great swaths of smoke curled into the bodies of the other characters. They were painted to a smaller scale than Haze, though they were still larger than life. Ippolit and Pierre as Andi and Max seemed to be spun from the same tendril of smoke, though their gazes were directed across the top of Haze’s head where Andrey as Jake gazed back at him. Below Andrey, was Natasha as Dani, looking almost ethereal in the grey haze. Though her body was turned away from the center, her head seemed to be mid turn as she gazed back at Sonya. Mary was parallel to her, looking at Sonya with fear and longing in her eyes. Her dark hair streamed out behind her as she seemed to struggle towards Emmy. 

Anatole bounced back and forth on his toes watching Fedya watch look at the painting nervously. Fedya stared at the piece with wide eyes, shaking his head a little. “Have I-” He started, stopping before he finished. “Ever told you how absolutely fucking skilled you are? Holy  _ shit _ .” Anatole laughed bashfully, shrugging a little bit. 

“So, you like it?” He asked, sounding impossibly small. Fedya smiled warmly and tugged Anatole closer to him, kissing him soundly. 

“I love it.” Fedya murmured softly. “And I love you.” Anatole’s lips moved wordlessly, eyes widening as he processed what Fedya had said, and then he flushed, pulling Fedya into a heated kiss. 

“I’m glad you love it.” He whispered into the kiss. “Because I love you too.” He kissed Fedya again. Fedya smiled, tightening his arm around Anatole. 

“Can we use it for the show? Cover art?” Fedya asked softly. Anatole nodded enthusiastically, then pulled back when he bumped their noses together. 

“Ow, fuck, sorry.” He laughed, leaning in to kiss Fedya’s nose. “But yeah, Anna’s gonna murder me for requesting to scan it, but I can get Andrey to ask her.” 

“Can we go watch Pierre now?” Ippolit whined softly to Andrey from behind them, a slight pout on his lips. Fedya chuckled and turned to look at them, expression soft. 

“Let’s do that,” he agreed, laughing when Ippolit beamed. Anatole no longer led the group, opting to hang off of Fedya’s arm like an overexcited puppy. Andrey glanced back at the two, smiling warmly at Fedya when he met his eyes. Fedya smiled back at him, mouthing, ‘You have your own Kuragin,’ at him with a slight nod at Ippolit, who was doing nearly the exact same thing, except tugging Andrey instead of just hanging onto him. Andrey snorted, flipping Fedya off before allowing himself to be dragged through the halls.

“Ipp, baby, you don’t know where he is!” He laughed, and Anatole smiled. Ippolit rolled his eyes and made a comment about a Pierre-radar, always knowing where he was. Frankly, Fedya didn’t hear anything that was said, still entirely lost on his boyfriend and the art. 

Anatole leaned his head on Fedya’s shoulder as they walked out of Pierre’s room. “D’you wanna get out of here after Ipp’s announcement?” He murmured, looking at Fedya with dark, intense eyes. 

“Yeah, sure, babe.” Fedya murmured back, kissing his cheek. “Back to my place?” Anatole nodded wordlessly, kissing Fedya deeply. Fedya smiled into the kiss. 

“Pierre!” Ippolit all but launched himself at the last member of his throuple, grinning madly. Andrey laughed as Pierre caught Ippolit in his arms, kissing him soundly. 

“Well, hey, there, sunshine.” Pierre said warmly, stealing a kiss from Andrey. “Am I the last stop?”

“Yup.” Fedya said with a smile. “You were great, P.”

“Thanks, son.” Pierre replied, smiling at the group. “Hey, Elya.” Elya seemed to take the greeting as permission launch themself at Pierre’s side not occupied by Ippolit. They hugged him tight. 

“Hey, you big beauty, you did great.” They said. Pierre grinned, hugging them back.

“Thanks, El.” He said fondly, looking at the group of them. “Andrey texted, saying you had an announcement, Lit?” Ippolit beamed and nodded, shifting on the balls of his feet. 

“I got into MPA.” Ippolit said with a bright smile. “So did Sonya and Mary, but. I did. For acting, but I have permission for the dance classes too.” 

Andrey yelled, picking Ippolit up and swinging him around. “I’m so proud!” Anatole and Elya grinned, sharing a prideful glance. Ippolit smiled, putting up with all of it before he nudged at Andrey in a ‘put me down’ gesture. Pierre was waiting when Ippolit was down, accepting him in a gentle hug, ready to pull away the second Ippolit gestured if he wanted. Ippolit just smiled and leaned into the touch, nuzzling up to Pierre’s shirt. 

“Me and you both, Lit.” Fedya said with a grin. “I’ll be seeing you next year.” 

Elya shrieked, clapping their hands and punching Fedya’s arm. “It’s about fucking time!” They laughed, hugging him and swatting at Anatole. “They’re gonna have to lock you in your studio, Toto.” 

Anatole shoved them away, laughing. “Oh shut  _ up _ ! I’ll be  _ fine _ , Ela!” He glanced at Fedya, tugging at his arm. “Uh- I think I’m gonna head home early. Like, back to Fedya’s place.” Elya whistled, smirking at Anatole who winked in response.  Fedya snorted softly, and quickly said his goodbyes to the group, kissing Ippolit’s cheek before going back to Anatole’s side, squeezing his hand. 

“You have pictures of the piece?” Fedya asked as they walked. “I wanna post and brag about my boyfriend.”

“Nah, Andrey does though.” Anatole said, smiling slightly. “And I called a cab, should be here soon.” Fedya smiled back at Anatole, stealing a quick kiss before letting out a bit of a sigh. 

“Saved me there, you did.” He admitted, nudging the other boy lightly. “Too many people.” Anatole glanced at him, understanding.

“Opening days are always hell, surrounded by good people or not.” Anatole leaned his head against Fedya’s shoulder as they watched a cab pull up. “Andrey and Ela will want to stay for a while, so the house will be people-free for a while.” Fedya pulled the door open, letting Anatole in first before he slid in the back, giving the address of the Bolkonsky-Bezukhov-Kuragin-Dolokhov house. 

“You hinting at something?” He nudged Anatole playfully. Anatole raised an eyebrow, leaning towards Fedya with a small smile. 

“Always.” He said, and then kissed Fedya gently. Fedya laughed into the kiss, settling comfortably in the backseat, an arm loosely wrapped around Anatole. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Anatole pressed close to Fedya’s side, silently willing the driver to go faster. When they arrived at the house, Anatole had already counted out the payment (plus a  _ very _ heavy tip) and led Fedya into the house and up to his room. He only slowed when the door to the bedroom was safely closed, and he pulled Fedya into a slow kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck. Fedya laughed into the kiss, shaking his head slightly, pulling back a little to get a good look at Anatole’s face. Anatole chased his lips with an whine, pouting. 

“So.” Fedya murmured, raising an eyebrow. “Home alone, huh?” Anatole’s pout shifted into something more devious, and the next kiss he gave Fedya was decidedly less innocent.

“Yeah, home alone.” He said lowly. Fedya smiled a little, seeming to only shift slightly before he moved, pushing Anatole onto his bed, moving after him, a laugh escaping him. 

“You’re ridiculous, Aly.” 

Anatole grinned up at him, fingers already tugging the hem of Fedya’s shirt out of his pants. “You like me like that.” 

“God help me,” Fedya muttered back, unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as he could. Anatole hummed appreciatively in response, eyes trailing over the newly exposed skin. 

“Christ, Fedya.” He breathed, propping himself up on one elbow so he could reel Fedya in for another kiss. “You’re too fucking gorgeous.” Fedya smiled, and let himself get pulled down to Anatole, losing himself in Anatole’s eyes and body and lips. Anatole came down in a haze of warm affection, tangling his legs with Fedya’s and exchanging lazy kisses with him until he drifted off to sleep in a cocoon of safety and love. 

By the time the rest of the family had gotten home, Fedya was settled peacefully on the bed, his arm wrapped around a now-sleeping Anatole, and the lights off. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy, felt this okay. 

His phone buzzed from the nightside table, his alarm going off. Fedya reached over and turned it off, shifting on the bed to look to the windowsill, where his pill bottles were. He stared for a minute before he looked at Anatole, a smile spreading across his lips. He didn’t need them. He had Anatole. 

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, damn. This is it. This is the end. Thank you for joining us on this ride of a fanfic. We can't believe it's over, and yet here we are with the end. So a quick few words: thanks to Kyle (@pequenoleon on tumblr) for being our biggest cheerleader for the past month and a half or so. Thanks to Juliet (who has no account) for helping flesh out the ideas the web series.
> 
> The authors would like to remind the readers that what Fedya does is not a good idea: relationships do not replace antidepressants. Please take your medications!
> 
> And finally. There is a sequel already in the works titled 'Some Kind of Clarity.' There will be even more prominent themes of suicide, depression, death, physical abuse, and PTSD in that fic. If that is triggering, please don't read it. Your mental health is important to us. 
> 
> Thanks for coming on the ride!  
> ~K. Eme & S. Ela


End file.
